I’m reading down the” Reverand’s” list that informs concerned parents about the many tell-tale signs that their child may be becoming….a GOTH.
“…WEARS FANGS OR DRESSES LIKE A VAMPIRE.”
Mmmmkay….been there, done that.(Oh boy have I done that.)
“…OWNS AN EXCESSIVE AMMOUNT OF HORROR MOVIES.”
Moi?! Oh pshaw!
“…STICKS BROKEN GLASS UP HIS/HER OWN ANUS.”
Hasn’t everyone?”
“…HAS FRIENDS WHO ARE JEWS”
Ummm…….pardon me?
Then it goes on to declare that a child can become demonically possessed while reading Harry Potter. The mind positively quails, ladies and gentlemen.
While the veracity of this site’s pernicious, theologically driven perspective leans somewhat on the dubious side I DO have to credit it for providing a serious morning’s entertainment.
Christian extremists just COULDN’T be this silly could they?
My favourites of course are the “Bitch please I raped your god” chick and the “I’m the devil I love metal” girl.
I’m so excited for their updates!
COMING SOON TO GOD HATES GOTHS . COM!
NEW ‘GOD HATES WOMEN’ SECTION UNDER CONSTRUCTION … ‘DE-GOTHING YOUR CHILD’ SECTION UPDATED
ALSO LOOK OUT FOR THESE FORTHCOMING ARTICLES… ARE GOTHS RESPONSIBLE FOR GLOBAL WARMING? WHY WICCANS ARE SACRIFICING BABIES! LEARN THE SECRET GOTH HANDSHAKE! LEARN WHY CATS ARE EVIL, AND HATED BY GOD! HITLER - WAS HE THE FIRST GOTH? IS YOUR CHILD SAFE FROM GOTHIC PREDATORS? … AND MUCH MUCH MORE…
… ONLY AT GODHATESGOTHS.COM
I imagine it being read by Sean Connery for peak effect.
Well, I guess god hates all of us. Anyways this is the funniest site I have ever seen!!! I am also glad to know god hates retarded people…yup, tell it like it is
another thing, i looked at the site some more and they have tools to beat “satan” out of your child and this was on there:
“THE PEAR - MY PERSONAL FAVORITE! THE PEAR IS A DEVICE WHICH EXPANDS WHILE INSERTED ORALLY, ANALLY OR VAGINALLY. IT’S A TRIED AND TESTED METHOD OF EXTRACTING THE DESIRED CONFESSION.”
“DRESSING UP LIKE A SICK CIRCUS FREAK IS A DIRECT DEFIANCE TO GOD.”
I had been going more for the “satanic whore” look he mentions earlier, but now I’m curious and want to try out this aesthetic.
this guy is silly! sillysillysilly!
and seems to be channeling my father…..
How dreadfully anti-social. I do hope that it’s satire; the alternative being very nearly too much to stomach. (And my, my, doesn’t the book of Leviticus take all the fun out of life?)
August 29th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
“KNOWING THE WARNING SIGNS”
I’m reading down the” Reverand’s” list that informs concerned parents about the many tell-tale signs that their child may be becoming….a GOTH.
“…WEARS FANGS OR DRESSES LIKE A VAMPIRE.”
Mmmmkay….been there, done that.(Oh boy have I done that.)
“…OWNS AN EXCESSIVE AMMOUNT OF HORROR MOVIES.”
Moi?! Oh pshaw!
“…STICKS BROKEN GLASS UP HIS/HER OWN ANUS.”
Hasn’t everyone?”
“…HAS FRIENDS WHO ARE JEWS”
Ummm…….pardon me?
Then it goes on to declare that a child can become demonically possessed while reading Harry Potter. The mind positively quails, ladies and gentlemen.
While the veracity of this site’s pernicious, theologically driven perspective leans somewhat on the dubious side I DO have to credit it for providing a serious morning’s entertainment.
Christian extremists just COULDN’T be this silly could they?
-Paul
October 11th, 2007 at 5:12 am
…
Entertaining, but totally made up. No one can be that full of bullshit, not even a man sculpted from bullshit.
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:29 am
god hates us all, women who wear gold and pearls? all of the retards? whoever wrote this should burn in hell to a sharpe and grossly bland crisp
October 27th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Is it a very detailed joke? Some of it just seems to be too ridiculous, like the comments from apparently normal people about goths.
Please, please, please tell me it’s a joke.
Satire, surely?
November 1st, 2007 at 3:49 pm
OMG that was hilarious. And after viewing this gallery I finally am beginning to understand why God hates me:
http://www.godhatesgoths.com/meetthefreaks.html
My favourites of course are the “Bitch please I raped your god” chick and the “I’m the devil I love metal” girl.
I’m so excited for their updates!
COMING SOON TO GOD HATES GOTHS . COM!
NEW ‘GOD HATES WOMEN’ SECTION UNDER CONSTRUCTION … ‘DE-GOTHING YOUR CHILD’ SECTION UPDATED
ALSO LOOK OUT FOR THESE FORTHCOMING ARTICLES… ARE GOTHS RESPONSIBLE FOR GLOBAL WARMING? WHY WICCANS ARE SACRIFICING BABIES! LEARN THE SECRET GOTH HANDSHAKE! LEARN WHY CATS ARE EVIL, AND HATED BY GOD! HITLER - WAS HE THE FIRST GOTH? IS YOUR CHILD SAFE FROM GOTHIC PREDATORS? … AND MUCH MUCH MORE…
… ONLY AT GODHATESGOTHS.COM
I imagine it being read by Sean Connery for peak effect.
March 14th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Well, I guess god hates all of us. Anyways this is the funniest site I have ever seen!!! I am also glad to know god hates retarded people…yup, tell it like it is
March 14th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
another thing, i looked at the site some more and they have tools to beat “satan” out of your child and this was on there:
“THE PEAR - MY PERSONAL FAVORITE! THE PEAR IS A DEVICE WHICH EXPANDS WHILE INSERTED ORALLY, ANALLY OR VAGINALLY. IT’S A TRIED AND TESTED METHOD OF EXTRACTING THE DESIRED CONFESSION.”
WTF!?
May 13th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
“DRESSING UP LIKE A SICK CIRCUS FREAK IS A DIRECT DEFIANCE TO GOD.”
I had been going more for the “satanic whore” look he mentions earlier, but now I’m curious and want to try out this aesthetic.
this guy is silly! sillysillysilly!
and seems to be channeling my father…..
July 8th, 2008 at 4:44 am
How dreadfully anti-social. I do hope that it’s satire; the alternative being very nearly too much to stomach. (And my, my, doesn’t the book of Leviticus take all the fun out of life?)