This is even better than The Klingons vs. The Furries. Someone’s goin’ down! Which side will YOU choose?
Greg Gutfeld, widely hailed as FOX’s answer to Jon Stewart (this is their second stalwart attempt since embarrassing themselves with the Half-Hour News Hour), takes a jab at Suicide Girls and peripheral cultures in a rant entitled “Be a Rebel with a Cause“:
I know who these girls are — they’re annoying, Goth-punk chicks who champion uniqueness through tattoos, piercing and bisexual posturing. I imagine they also self-mutilate, since that’s pretty deep too… They should be pushed into rivers. This non-conformity is purely conformist. All these rebels look and act the same — spouting relativistic nonsense through silver tongue studs. Why do they proclaim their individuality, but look identical? It’s because they’re fake.
Mr. Gutfeld, you have stabbed me and rest of the alternative world right in the heart, deeper than our Bic razors ever went. I’ve never thought of it this way before! Perhaps only the most wise and introspective amongst us have contemplated our collective existence with such cold-eyed realism.
Who in our scene is strong enough to fully grasp Mr. Gutfeld’s insight? I know only of the great sage mercifulXicution of VampireFreaks, who offers some hope for our kind with her ruminations: “I really really hate fake people….so if you are not yourself (Are a fake bisexual person, have fake tats and piercings) please just fucking LEAVE now.” Such similarity in discourse from such different camps. Perhaps, with such intellectual leaders as these, there is hope for friendship between our people.
The rest of the article is amusing and reads like a gentle version of Vice’s DOs and DON’Ts, lamenting the prevalence of “50-year-old women getting dolphin tattoos on their ankles and fat old men wearing board shorts and wallet chains.” The conclusion reminds you that you’re on foxnews.com again:
Real rebels are people who work hard. Love their parents. And fight for their beliefs, preferably in the military. Those folks are far cooler than self-harming skanks.
Oh, Fox News, Suicide Girls, can’t we all just get along? No? I think I have a compromise that will appeal to both parties:
Image ganked from Encyclopedia Dramatica.
September 28th, 2007 at 1:33 am
Leaving the country appeals more and more each day.
“Im Very oppionated and i stick by MY oppions, you wont ever change the way i…”
October 8th, 2007 at 5:09 am
i 2nd zoe
October 10th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Fox going down ?
On the suicide girls ?
About time !
October 10th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
He’s right, you know. Real rebels do as they’re told.
October 13th, 2007 at 2:31 am
I hope that one day, FOX news will be no more. Like, the ignorant people all just go form their own little planet, far away from me. That’d be quite nice.
March 14th, 2008 at 11:39 am
FOX is just pissed because their not beautiful! Women are beautiful in every way and the Suicide Girls show all the different forms of what beauty really is! FOX should go to hell and if the Suicide Girls go hell their gonna go sexy as hell!!!!!!
April 1st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
… and all the beautiful, fat Suicide Girls in wheel chairs are… where?
Patriarchy never had a problem with women being stereotypcially attractive (piercings and crazy hair are not expressions of individuality, so much as a uniform).
Patriarchy also never had a problem with women being sexually available and assertive.
To this day, it has a problem with a woman being President of the United States, or in any position of real power in America.
It’s a fucking sad inditement of your culture that Fox News, of all things, has finally to say out loud what has been glaringly obvious for some time.
(Although it is idiotic to imply any alt porn will inspire a ‘dangerous’ cult. All that it inspires is more young women who have taken full advantage of the achievements of feminism to take a short ego trip, and commodify themselves in the pursuit of a narrowly defined idea of power).
April 1st, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Rosa, I would hazard a guess that this post makes fun of SG as much as it does Fox – if not more.
August 12th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Rosa, you’re hilarious. It is true how some of those girls look the same (tats and/or peircings) as most glamour models, just add dye to it and it’s individualism!
November 30th, 2008 at 3:23 am
what…is that last picture about?
the girl in the headscarf as your cited tongue-in-cheek example. what did you want people to perceive when they saw the ‘punchline’ of your witty commentary? what did you want them to see? what?
is that what this subculture has come down to?
is not about intelligence, wit, fierceness, justice and having the *balls* to live and let live? have i lost a page somewhere in the manual? was that funny?
this is an old thread; i apologize for my lateness in replying…i would also like to point out that i have a perfectly sound sense of humor, i laugh loudly and as often as i can, however, that, was in poor taste. i know (and sincerely hope!) it was not any pre-meditated malice or hate/prejudice that made you add that last image. the problem here is, i simply cannot fathom what you meant by it for your audience. the nudge-nudge wink-wink and knowing smile of…want to complete that sentence for me?
what’s next? making fun of people from different ethnic backgrounds who identify as goths? who don’t speak english? who don’t wear strictly ‘western’ clothing?
or perhaps the blatantly muslim girl thing is entirely uncalled for. i don’t wish to offend or cause any tempers to flare up. i just happen to believe all of us are created equal…and while having cute lol-worthy things happen is terrific, that did the opposite for me.
i respectfully (but firmly) ‘disapprove’.
other than that-lol, why is Fox picking on SG specifically and not the entire bizarre fantasy world of porn and how the heavily photoshopped, just as heavily made-up females (or people from the music industry) (or the ‘society’ page celebrities) (or hollywood and the rich-erati in general) strut around looking like right ponces, whatever their gender? =p funny how we are ingrained to pick on those we consider ‘lesser than’ or ‘weaker’ than ourselves. shame.
to Fox: up yours, mofo’s =D *flips them the bird*
December 20th, 2008 at 9:49 am
SG is a joke. who pays for porn anyways?