‘A haiku raygun. Whoever is zapped with the raygun speaks only in haiku.’

After opening random boxes for 5 or so minutes my favorites are:

A copy of your hometown paper. The date is tomorrow. The lead story is about the copy of today’s paper that was found yesterday. It states that the lead story in that paper was that a copy of yesterday’s paper was found the day before yesterday; the lead story in that paper was . . .

A 10″ gear of an unidentifiable gray-green metal. Anyone who spends more than an hour in the presence of the gear can hear, at the edge of perception, the clacking and grinding of many similar gears. They will hear this for the rest of their life. Every 24 hours in the gear’s presence after this, the level of noise doubles. Eventually, the grinding of the gears becomes the person’s entire world, and they will leave their life to “find the machine that drives the infinite.”

The second one is pretty close to being a much shorter auditory version of the Borges story the Zahir.

A chunk of fossilized pizza. No, not stale. Fossilized. -

A handful of computer disks containing the archived contents of the Library of Alexandria. They are labeled “Hard Drive Backup

I definitely love this site ^^

A pair of what appear to be clown shoes. Any wearer will be able to walk on air as if he were climbing up stairs. But not *down* stairs.

A CD. When played in a normal CD player it contains every music album released in 1991.

A small bloodstained wooden tablet with the inscription INRH. A chemical analysis reveals that the “blood” is actually wine.

Sounds like good times are ahead. I think My Bloody Valentine came out with “Loveless” in 1991…I get to shoegaze at magic clown shoes :)