Tombstone Stolen, Uses Sought!

This news is a few days old at this point, but I feel compelled to ruminate for a moment on the following: Ian Curtis, the late singer of Joy Division, has been robbed. The tombstone decorating his final resting place, inscribed with “Love Will Tear Us Apart”, was taken from the grave on July 3 – just a few days ago. The obelisk had graced the grounds of a Macclesfield cemetery for over 28 years.


Photo by BogartCat on flickr

After the initial shock comes confusion. I find myself tormented, waking in the night and screeching a question to the blackened skies: why? With no one to answer, I am forced to speculate. What can be done with a tombstone, one that, as the drummer pleads, can’t be sold on eBay? Is there a black market for stolen tombstones? If so, what would the price be for such a rare artifact?

Perhaps the thieves wanted the stone for their garden? It could be fashioned into a bench near a reflecting pool, for late night contemplation. It is also possible to build the tombstone into a wall of a house, use it as a centerpiece at a banquet or a slightly morbid headboard that keeps nagging lovers in check. One could even use the tombstone to anchor their boat or stop pets from entering certain rooms.

Come to think of it, the possibilities are endless here – I can really see the appeal of dredging up a priceless memento for personal use now that I examine its true potential. What do you suppose has been done with the Ian Curtis tombstone? We’d love to hear your ideas. And if you’re reading this, thief, I hope you’re as imaginative as us. Or on your way to return the stone, which would make you a lot less of a scumbag.

18 Responses to “Tombstone Stolen, Uses Sought!”

  1. ]@/\/\!3 Says:

    I’d use it to bludgeon to death worthless bands
    like AFI and My Chemical Romance, among others,
    none of which are a tenth as cool as JOY DIVISION.

    Or, use it in a seance to contact it’s owner.

    -J.

  2. berlin wallflower Says:

    it could of have become a hedonist’s pet rock!

    hmmmm…or used for an ironic twist in a good old fashioned peine forte et dure!

    or as a pleasant stand-in for the standard holiday fruitcake!

  3. Terra Trouvé Says:

    maybe the thief (who for the purposes of this notion is also coincedentally called Ian Curtis (his parents were either really big fans or blissfully unaware)) (i thoroughly enjoy double brackets)
    has been contemplating his own inevitable demise and, because he’s rather short on cash at the moment, decided to liberate the stone to decorate his own final resting place.

    either that or it’s being used as an rudimentary nutcracker.

  4. Jack Says:

    It’s being used in the construction of an Ian Curtis-infused golem.

  5. Daniel Says:

    There are some real creeps out there. How anyone could do something like this is well beyond me. I sincerely hope the stolen stone is put back.

  6. joshua Says:

    i was fortunate enough to get a rubbing of the stone years ago, while i was on tour in england. sadly, the imprint faded away to almost nothing…

  7. the daniel Says:

    I don’t have a strong affinity for Joy Division myself, so typical knickknack uses are right out – it wouldn’t fit in on my mantle or in my expansive statue gallery – but it’s perfect for another use I have in mind. I could gather a passel of very serious Ian Curtis fans together with the promise that I would reveal the location of the tombsone and guarantee its safe return if there was enough of a public outpouring of support. Then, I would pull back the curtain in my basement theatre to reveal the tombstone in the maw of my crushing machine! As the relic is turned to fine dust and blown throughout the room with large fans, the antipathetic feelings from the gathered crowd would hit a critical point, and I could then use their very hate and fear to power my TERROR MACHINE, a war engine of my own devising that converts the darkest of human emotions into DESTRUCTION.

  8. D Says:

    Most likely just alcohol-induced idiocy. Ideas like that seem brilliant around 5am.

    If not returned, I hope it ends up as the focus of some odd but harmless cult whose members are encouraged to dance in mysterious ways while getting photographed with high ISO BW film.

    It’d be a bit fanatical to be outraged at the theft of a tombstone, no? Still very bad to remove an easily accessible symbol for a lot of fans. From a lot of fans? %¬§%&#!!@y language…

    I realize I have Unknown Pleasures, Decades and Les bains douches currently added to my mp3 player. I think I need to find more new stuff to listen to…

  9. Alice Says:

    I think D’s theory of alcohol’s influence holds water well (er…holds booze?). After all, just think of the seemingly magical increase in strength alcohol bestows!

  10. Mer Says:

    Ridiculous.

    You know what else is ridiculous? I was going to get the epitaph tattooed on me (in white) a few years ago! So glad I didn’t go through with it (especially since discovering how many other folks had the same maudlin idea).

  11. Zoetica Says:

    All excellent ideas, but I think thedaniel wins with the weight of his answer’s sheer evil if nothing else!

    Mer, I’m glad too. Though I still think a white ink tattoo of some sort would suit you nicely.

  12. M2Infinity Says:

    If I ever get a tombstone, I want one that someone would want to steal.

  13. Tequila Says:

    You’re all not seeing the real potential here…I’d turn it into a Thor’s Hammer like weapon and go around smiting those who need…well…smiting.

    Rampaging through city after city hammering people upside the head for reasons like…wearing 80’s t-shirts in an attempt to be ironic…calling yourself a DJ when all you do is start a playlist in iTunes…and of course attacking innocent emo boys who whine about their hair not being long enough…oh and anyone who actually likes Pete Wentz.

    Truly this will be a weapon of unfathomable power and glory.

    @the daniel…you’re a very sick individual. I like it!

  14. D Says:

    Brilliant idea, Tequila. A Tombstone of Striking +5 to smite the unrighteous and correct wrongs done to our eighties. Saw a girl earlier dressed in lipgloss and hotpants sporting a RELAX t-shirt. Whack her repeatedly with the tombstone while going ‘You should have let it STAY DEAD’. Possibly.

  15. Zoetica Says:

    I like the way you think, D.

  16. Dj Dead Billy Says:

    it’s probably at the center of the city..

  17. Rubicon Says:

    Don’t be hatin’ on AFI, first poster, all their albums from Answer That and Stay Fashionable to The Art of Drowning were decent hardcore.

    And more on subject, I’m sure it would be a very impressive paperweight or door stop

  18. khephret Says:

    I can see some damn emo kid stealing it and stuffing it into his pillowcase ‘cos he doesn’t deserve a soft pillow while poor Ian rests there in a coffin….gah.