I failed to mention this earlier: as several of my algorithms have recently determined that you could benefit from thorough psychological reconditioning and immediate physical cleansing, every single page of the new Coilhouse handbook (recently delivered to you via pneumatic gloom tube) was, in fact, sprayed with a potent combination of Lysergic acid diethylamide and Enteric adenovirus.
Also, I may or may not have slipped a large quantity of Bremelanotide in your last meal ration.
Just try to relax. It will all be over soon.
With a certain wanly matriarchal fondness,
(Sub-level 88-8, Catacomb Recreation Room 237)