I’ve spent, I think I can say, an inordinate amount of time browsing through the fetishization of the most mundane activities in order to provide you, dear readers, with interesting material. Yes, it was for you that I watched dozens of Japanese YouTube clips of earwax removal, trapped in a horrific, personal grooming K-hole, desperately trying escape only to do so and realize that most, if not all of the people who would be interested in such a thing are already ensconced in a vast, virtual library of such material. Alas, such is the life of an internet spelunker.
We are not here to talk about earwax removal, however, (though, if you want to I have some videos to show you) no, we’re going to briefly discuss Konapun. Konapun is a Japanese cooking toy that allows the you to create realistic, miniature food with the use of chemicals. It’s like molecular gastronomy — a practice in which people who are bored by food and the idea of it as nourishment torture it into funny shapes and forms with needles and eyedroppers — but without the pretense of being edible.
Update: So Nanna in the comments points out that Bon-Bon is not, indeed, Dutch but Danish which means that I’m an idiot and everything in this article is wrong. Everything except the part about Dutch toilets.
Above, dear reader, you will find a collection of five commercials, circa 1990, for candies produced by Dutch confectioners, Bonbon. These sugary delights have names like Ape Snoten and Smul-Tietjen which crude internet translation informs me is, roughly, Boob Feast in English. That particular treat features a nightmarish and considerable buxom, anthropomorphic cow milking another, non-anthropomorphized cow after which her heaving breasts explode from her shirt making for what must be a record holder for most fetishes in a television commercial. This is only one in a series of ads featuring a plethora of bodily fluids and functions. Please do not let these commercials affect your opinions of the Dutch, however. Yes this seems odd, but no doubt there are more than a few aspects of our culture that would confound the citizens of the Netherlands. No, we should instead save our condescending judgment for their bizarre and unholy toilets, equipped with “inspection shelf”.
There is no disputing that much of Ok Go’s success stems their inventive and often complex videos. The video for their new single “Last Leaf” is no exception. Animated using 2,430 pieces of toast in lieu of celluloid, it makes for a finished product just as flammable but an order of magnitude more delicious.
What’s 26 inches long, weighs three pounds, and would be immensely fun to lube up and brandish menacingly at pumpkin-smashing, house-egging Halloween vandals, preferably while wearing a bloodstained chicken suit? Why, the World’s Largest Gummy Worm, that’s what!
The precocious online shop Vat19 is currently sold out of all five dual flavors of this 4000 calorie candy, but never fear– they’ll be back in stock very soon. Meantime, there’s always The World’s Largest Gummy Bear.
Aleister Crowley, known to many as “The Great Beast” and thought perhaps “The Wickedest Man in the World” was an English Occultist, mystic, ceremonial Magician… and amateur foodie?
See below for Riz Aleister Crowley, a delectable rice dish. Redolent with aromatic herbs and spices, almonds and green pistachios (rendering it a “Poem of Spring”, Crowley raves), it is meant to be eaten with a lovely curry. This carnal knowledge comes to us courtesy of Professor Jack, who recently conducted some sleuthing in the Crowley Archives at Bird Library, Syracuse University, and generously shared the fruits of his efforts. Should you wish to attempt this recipe in your own kitchen, be forewarned - volumes and weights are virtually non-existent here; Prof. Jack notes that Crowley appears to have been “… less fond of precise measurements than he was of Sex Magicks and defiling nice carpets.”
Posted by Guest Blogger: S. Elizabeth on October 1st, 2010
Filed under Food, Occult | Comments (18)
An exotic new craving on this post Labor Day morning before the start of the work week, even, perhaps, before one’s first steaming sip of strong coffee: a concoction consisting of toasted bread, processed meatstuff, a limp, plasticky piece of American cheese, and a slice of canned pineapple possibly past its expiration date. This, apparently, is “Hawaii Toast”, a delicacy whose existence I was very much ignorant of until just yesterday. Just look at it! Delicious, or what?
Judging from his orgiastic consumption of the things, it would seem Alexander Marcus finds this to be true as well.
His… um… excitement, you’ll soon see, is quite evident.
(via wikipedia) Alexander Marcus … is a persona of the German music producer Felix Rennefeld…
Rennefeld’s music is a mixture of modern electronic club music and folk music, which he has named ‘Electro Lore’, a combination of ‘electro’ and ‘folklore’…Marcus exaggerates many of the clichés present in pop music, and his music videos feature “trashy” objects, such as a recurrent plastic globe called “Globi”. Spiegel Online sees the character as a typical example of a return to pop-art social criticism. Never breaking out of character, he leaves the question of whether he is a parody unanswered:
The idea that the guy might really be as barmy as it seems, remains at least possible.
All hail the caterwauling Carmen Orange. Venerated demigod of public broadcasting, mesmeric and disturbing in equal measure, she haunts the collective memory of multiple generations of Sesame Street-watching children. According to a couple of unconfirmed reports online, she was animated by Jim Henson himself.
Perhaps no fruit plays a greater role in ancient cultures than the noble fig. Subfossil figs have been found in Jordan that predate the domestication of even wheat and rye. The fruit also appears in many religious traditions, for instance the leaves of the fig tree were used, according to the Book of Genesis, as the first underwear.
No man may understand the fig like albertluk6043382973, a gentleman whose enjoyment of this fruit borders on the perverse. In his instructional video he shows the viewer exactly how to determine the fruit’s ripeness and how then to pluck it from the branches. Gently, he caresses the purplish skin, stretched taut by the bloated flesh within. With the intensity of an amateur pornographer he focuses our gaze on the ostiole, open and secreting a sugary dew.
Soon though, his movements become more daring. Grasping the fig with one hand he begins to twist the stem; splitting the skin with his fingers. Finally, released from the branch of its birth, he brings it towards us, tearing it open to reveal the sticky interior, flush and glistening. Only when we have drunk in this sight does the shirtless man bring the fig to his lips and devour it with an ardor tempered by months of desire and need. Here, truly, is a man whose love for the fig is unmatched. He is part of a long tradition, possessing a deep understanding of the natural eroticism of the Ficus carica — and in that knowledge he revels. Juice running down his face, he celebrates; for now is the time for figs.
