Here’s the haps, comrades. We’re halfway through production on Issue 06 of Coilhouse Magazine. In recent days, as we watch its aesthetic and themes begin to coalesce, our conference calls have gotten giddier than ever. As always, we’re aiming for maximum high gloss, high concept, high impact. However, Coilhouse remains a labor of love with marginal profit, and right now our funds are rather low. Why? Because the recently-produced Issue 05 cost us an arm and a leg. NO REGRETS. But its many frills (the holographic foil, the fold-out poster, the art postcards) have left us with depleted resources.

We don’t want to refrain from pulling out all of the stops for 06 in the same manner we did for 05, 04, 03. But to ensure we keep outdoing ourselves with each successive issue, it’s looking like we may need a little help from our friends. Are you willing and able? That’s where this new wave of Coilhouse merchandise comes in.

We’re introducing several new clothing designs and styles, as well as buttons, a mug, and a poster. Yum yum yum. As you can see, it’s all a bit retro sci-fi Constructivist space cadet-chic. That’s not a coincidence! The look and feel of these items dovetails nicely into Issue 06’s themes (as you’ll soon see). We’re also bringing back limited quantities of the beautiful black-on-black INFORM INSPIRE INFECT hoodie that sold out almost instantly a few months ago.

Additionally, now that we’ve mailed off all of the contributor and advertiser copies of Issue 05, we can sell the remaining stock to our readership. If you missed 05 the first time around, or still haven’t had any luck finding it in a store near you, now’s your chance.

This round of merch is Pre-Order: meaning, you buy it, we get it manufactured, and you get your shipment about 3 weeks from now. Pretty good deal, no? You get a lovely item that you can wear proudly, or sip hot toddies out of, or frame and hang on the wall, knowing you supported Coilhouse when we needed a boost. And we get to ensure that Issue 06 stays as badass n’ fancy as it wants to be.

Click through to check out all of the goodies. As always, thank you for your support of Coilhouse Magazine + Blog.

Brace yourselves, for a new batch of Coilhouse merch is about to appear on the horizon. Tomorrow’s merch release will see the return of an old favorite – the super-comfy Inform/Inspire/Infect unisex hoodie (modeled here and here by two stylish customers), plus some brand new items. Buttons crafted by the one and only Snarky McFuckbuttons, a beautiful 18×24 four-color poster with new Coilhouse art by Zoetica screenprinted by Mama’s Sauce, a hefty Inform/Inspire/Infect mug, a scarf, and much more await you here tomorrow.

In addition, we’re selling the last 150 copies of Issue 05 – our remaining stash before our Boogie Edition joins Issue 01-04’s status of being Sold Out Forever. We weren’t sure how many we’d have left after mailing out all the freebies to advertisers and contributors. Now that all issues have been mailed, we’re selling the remaining quantity to make room for Issue 06.

Speaking of Issue 06, this round of merch is going to help fund Issue 06 printing. With its many frills – the holographic foil, the fold-out poster, the art postcards – our recently-produced Issue 05 cost an arm and a leg, eating away at some of our budget for printing Issue 06. With this merch, we hope to raise enough money to make Issue 06 just as grand.

This round of merch will be Pre-Order: meaning, you buy it, we get it manufactured, and you get your shipment about 3 weeks from now. Stay tuned for the reveal of the new items tomorrow – live, in Technicolor!

We don’t often run sale notices on Coilhouse, least of all for the big franchises, but I’ll feel supremely guilty if I don’t share this bit of news with our readers: right now through August 1st, go to any Barnes & Noble (or shop online) and save 50% on every single Criterion film they have in stock. DVDs and Blu-rays. Grey Gardens, Throne of Blood, Picnic at Hanging Rock, Branded to Kill. A massive 25-disc Kurosawa boxed set for 200 bucks. Fellini, Bergman, Cassavetes, Gilliam, Herzog, Hitchcock, Welles, Brakhage, Tarkovsky, Wenders, Tati, and that’s just the very tiniest sampling of names and titles. Everything Criterion still has in print is selling for half off. Holy shitballs.

Offhand, it’s difficult to come up with a more beloved or awe-inspiring catalog than the Criterion Collection. While I can rarely afford these discs at full price, they’re never anything less than a revelation, and I cherish every one I own. It’s film curating of the highest caliber. If you already know, you friggin’ know, and you’re probably on your way out the door. If you don’t know, may I suggest checking out the selection at B&N immediately? You won’t regret it. GO, GO, GO. YEEEEE…

PS: Oh, and while you’re there, feel free to swing by the magazine racks and snap a phone picture of Coilhouse #05, should you happen to find one! (We’ve all been getting a huge kick out of seeing them in the wild.)

ROLL CALL. Who among our readers has a vinyl toy addiction? We know you’re out there, setting aside monthly Kid Robot allowances, religiously reading JUXTAPOZ, chuckling appreciatively at the inclusion of a Nathan Jurevicius figurine in Splice, etc.

You’ll be interested to know about an independent feature film exploring the American vinyl toy movement, its creators and collectors, called The Vinyl Frontier. Directed by Daniel Zana, it’s the first comprehensive documentary on the subject. Via Spread Art Culture:

Brilliantly shot on location [over the course of several years] in studios, homes, convention centers, and offices around the country, The Vinyl Frontier is sure to be a favorite in this year’s festival season. Featuring such heavy hitters as Tristan Eaton, Ron English, Gary Baseman, Dalek, Frank Kozik, Tim Biskup, and many more.

The Vinyl Frontier will be having its world premiere at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival (July 2-3) at the Roxie Theatre. Tickets are available for Friday, July 2, 8PM (an array of artists involved with the film will be in attendance after screening to take part in an audience Q&A) or Saturday, Jul 03, 9:20 PM.

We’re proud to present the latest round of Coilhouse Merch, available to purchase immediately in our online shop.

• Unisex hoodies. These feature our battle-cry of “INFORM INSPIRE INFECT”, emblazoned in black on a black, incredibly soft, long-sleeved hooded top. $34.99.
• Tank dresses. Super-soft, relaxed-fit summer dresses featuring our postergirl, the Stratosphere Messenger. An over-sized screen print on heather gray. $34.99.
• Miniature Porcelain Plates Set. A set of three creme-tone 3″ porcelain coupe plates featuring the Issue 04 section dividers, drawn by Zoetica. The plates come encased in a semi-gloss black box stamped with an elegant tarnished-silver I/I/I inscription designed by Courtney Riot. Hang them on your wall, use them as candy dishes, or to store your keepsakes – the choice is yours, comrade! $44.99.
• Issue 01. We are selling 25 copies of the coveted, limited-edition Neogender version of Issue 01, for a discounted price (they were originally $15). If you haven’t been reading Coilhouse long enough to remember why we did two different versions of Issue 01, there’s a NSFW explanation here. These copies are returns – meaning they got shipped to the wrong address (this happened a lot less after we put up a little warning in PayPal). They might have small defects from being in transit, so they’re not in mint condition – hence the lower price. $12.99. This issue is now completely SOLD OUT. Thank you!
  
• Last but not least, there are only 65 copies of Issue 03 left. Issue 03 took longer to sell out than our other issues because we had a larger quantity of it in stock, but it’s almost gone. Which is awesome, because we need to make room for Issue 05.

Many, many more detailed product images, after the cut.

If hundreds of pages of Philip K. Dick have taught me anything it’s that in the inevitable overpopulated, smoggy, and rain soaked future advertising will be everywhere. Surrounded by it, we will be assaulted by high-tech neon shillery to the point of utter desensitization. Advertisers will have to think up increasingly invasive ways to grab the attention of eyeballs shielded by shiny, all-weather sunglasses and absurd personal computer visors. Short of implanting the desire for a particular product directly into our cerebellums with a biochemical cocktail delivered by evil looking needles, they will no doubt turn to something akin to what is on display here in this video by Scott Amron.

Bypassing the optic route all together, Amron advocates a more tactile approach; his beverage container swelling with protuberances in an allergic reaction to hot liquid, pushing their tumescent ridges into the palm of the purchaser’s hand, creasing it with ad-man braille. Coffee clenched in hand it is all you can do to keep from shrieking as it gropes you. Unable to tear you away from the horrid alien porn displayed on your visor screen while you wait for the bus the next step is no doubt to simply envelop your extremity and forcibly drag you away to some previously unknown destination to buy jeans.

via core77

Just in case you missed this announcement elsewhere, Zo is selling these gorgeous contoured vinyl stickers of her original artwork over at her site, Biorequiem! There are two designs: Cumulus Confection, which appeared as one of the Coilhouse section headers in Issue 02, and Poke, an artwork that Zo released as fine-art print some time ago. The stickers are coated with a UV finish, making them resistant to discoloration over time. Get ’em before they’re gone!

Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. For many of us, these two holidays represent an opportunity to give thanks for the many blessings in life with creatively stuffed bird carcasses and to observe the sacred, immaculate birth of baby Jesus with hemorrhagic spending sprees, respectively. For others, they’re merely an excuse to go see schlockbuster matinees and pig out on massive quantities of Chinese buffet food.

[via Whittles]

No matter how you choose to celebrate T-Day and JC’s B-Day, your experience can only be improved by Cookie Misfortune:

For too long, the world of fortune cookies has been nothing but banal platitudes and generic hopes for a brighter future. That’s all over now. Cookie Misfortune is making it possible to blow minds and ruin dinners everywhere.

[The cookies’ messages] range from the quotidian (Fuck you) to the particular (You will die alone and poorly dressed) to the classical (Life is nasty, brutish, and short). You’ll never get two of the same in any given box of ten. Furthermore, our Misfortunes will be changing frequently, according to our whimsy.

I have to admit something– I’ve fantasized about doing EXACTLY what Cookie Misfortune has done for years, but could never quite muster the funds (or the vitriol) to follow through. Three cheers for Russell and Jason and their fang-ed wee upstart. I hope you guys sell a fuckload of these as white elephant gifts for the holidays.

Other choice Coilhouse-sanctioned stocking stuffers:

• Snarky McFuck Buttons (shown above)
• Snake & Bacon’s Cartoon Cabaret
• Diesel Sweeties goodies
• NifNaks
• Zoetica Ebb fine art prints
• Warren and Ariana’s Electrophonic Empire
• Matt Jones’ “Get Excited and Make Things” tee
• Wil’s “Tea, Earl Grey. Hot.” mug
• And of course, Coilhouse #03. (Not to mention #04, which you’ll be hearing more about very soon!)

Scrappy teensy indie vendors, have you got holiday wares you’d like to promote? Add your link in comments. (Please, just keep it short and sweet. A brief description and a URL, thanks!)

Tom LaBrie is a man’s man and a ladies man. He’s a man with a form fitting, wide collared shirt and slim, flared pants. He’s a man with a moustache and an unfortunate haircut. Tom LaBrie is also a man on a mission, and that mission is to get you into the squishy embrace of a fabulous new waterbed. Tom LaBrie made his pitch as the host of “Night Comfort Theater” on Sacramento-based UHF station KTXL in the 1970s and ’80s. In soft, sultry tones he hypnotizes the viewer, his words washing over them like warm, honeyed laudanum, enveloping them in their easy chairs, beckoning them to taste the aqueous pleasures his waterbed warehouse has to offer. Like a polyester siren, his song is nigh irresistible to all but the most steadfast insomniac Odysseus.

Get yours today!

Whoooooo’s that laaaady?

This bust is the first in Paul Komoda’s highly-anticipated “Human Pathology” series. Paul, who previously brought you this cauliflower-tastic take on the Elephant Man, recently completed this sculpture of a woman suffering from Tertiary Syphilis (more images of the sculpt here). These busts were originally commissioned from Paul by the U. S. Department of Education – one for every classroom, placed squarely atop each health teacher’s desk, to scare students into finally taking the subject matter seriously. Unfortunately, the piece came out more garish than they expected, and the Department refused the final product. Well, their loss is your gain! Castings of this fine piece, titled La Pestilencia, are available from Artist Proof Studio for $160 a pop. What a fine thing to place on top of your piano, where you can serenade it every night – or perhaps you’d want place it on your bookshelf, betwixt your most rare leather-bound medical textbooks. It could greet guests at the dinner table, or look up at visitors mournfully from your office cubicle.

I’ve been watching Paul sculpt this thing for the past couple of months, and it still gives me the willies every time I see it up close. Paul chose to photograph the bust with some some light illuminating it from below, which I feel is a mistake. The harsh tales-around-the-campfire lighting makes the face look even more monstrous than it needs to be, and fails to show the humanity and sadness that Paul so carefully instilled into its features. For this isn’t some Hollywood ghoul – it’s a real person, based on this tragic and completely NSFL photo taken in 1973 of a syphilis patient. What a piercing photo – you can tell, by the eyes, by the cheekbones, the shape of the jaw – that this was once a beautiful woman, similar in appearance, perhaps, to Winona Ryder, but ruined by an unlucky life. She could still be alive today.