READERSHIP ADVISORY: The following post contains very subjective opinion, frivolity, and the shameless sexual objectification of highly respectable people. In other words, we are about to go totally alt-Cosmo on your ass. You have been warned.
There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion. - Sir Francis Bacon
Preternatural means out of the ordinary course of nature; exceptional or abnormal. That which appears outside or beyond the natural. Extremity - an ordinary phenomenon taken beyond the natural.
10 Klaus Kinski
Bug-eyed, white-haired, rubbery-lipped Klaus Kinski was by all accounts (especially his own) an insatiable fuck machine. Open his infamously filthy memoirs to any random page and gasp at the depravity. He also happened to be gibbering batshit insane. It has been observed that sociopaths are often very charismatic. Certainly, when Kinski wasn’t foaming at the mouth, he could charm the knickers off any lady in the room. Fans of exploitation cinema adore him as the punishing playboy in Jess Franco’s masterpiece, Venus In Furs. His tumultuous partnership with filmmaker Werner Herzog yielded two of the most compelling antiheroes of all time: Aguirre and Nosferatu. Indeed, even in the most paltry cameo roles, Kinski oozed a certain fetid yet undeniable charm.
What follows is one of the sexiest commercials I have ever seen. May not be work-safe depending on where you work, but there’s no nudity.
There’s also another ad in this series, but the one above is the one that truly stands out. This ad caused a predictable amount of discomfort for the conservatives, but what’s more interesting is the debate it sparked amongst people interested in queer/gender theory. When the word “hir” gets used, you know it’s Serious Business! Love it.
Thousands of people hold their breath as they watch a gleaming white spacecraft descend. It touches down in a cloud of steam and the door drops to reveal a beautiful shiny humanoid, chrome helmet and armor. He emerges, reserved, as the screaming swells all around him. Is this the Second Coming? Holy fuck-christ, is it Xenu!?
No, little ones. Look on in awe as rows of marching helmeted men line up all around. Look and know that you’re about to let Michael Jackson rock your very asses. And know that you’re lucky, because there will never be another tour in the history of music like the Dangerous tour.
The cross makes me think of death, but the ivy is life. Sort of the tragic and hopeful, you know.
Ah, Poison Ivy. It had it all – big hair, teen lesbian lust, daddy complexes, public sex, irreparable emotional trauma and even death.
The players
Sylvie Cooper: A pre-Goth introverted high school student [Sarah Gilbert ]
Ivy: miniskirt-wearing, tattooed, broken doll-faced Lolita of a girl [Drew Barrymore]
Darryl Cooper: Sylvie ‘s father, a wealthy lonely man [Tom Skerritt] with a wilted rose as his dying wife [Cheryl Ladd]
The plot
Sylvie meets & swoons over wild Ivy and invites her into her home along with disaster. She can only look on in horror and confusion as Ivy slowly takes over her life.
What reads like a recipe for generic Hollywood fodder, instead focuses on acute loneliness, obsession and despair as much as on Barrymore’s physique and is actually a strangely moving and beautiful film. The acting is just ok, but Barrymore’s portrayal of a love starved teenage desperado is involving and bouncy, and the cinematography is great, with most of the particularly dramatic moments are shot in twilight rain. This movie probably did some goth-o-fying to herds of restless teenage girls in the 90s. Shakespearean high drama, Freudian tension and Fellinian perversion - I can’t help but love it all!
