Occasionally, while exploring the wild untrammeled frontiers of the world wide interwub, you’ll stumble across something so revelatory, so mind-bogglingly exquisite, it knocks you back several feet, clutching your head and speaking in tongues. Today I had just such an experience. Like Nietzsche who gazed too long into the abyss or Icarus who flew too close to the sun, I shall never be the same, for I have seen the cruel, implacable face of G*d:
Three examples of finely crafted deer butt alien head taxidermy, a.k.a. “assquatch art.”
Via Redneck Craft Tips by Don Burleson (the web page that cracked my poor brain open like a pistachio nut):
For centuries, families have enjoyed the camaraderie and joy of making alien heads from deer butts. Join the fun! Once you know the secrets, it’s easy to transform an ordinary deer butt into a work of redneck fine art. Let’s take a closer look at this ancient and noble craft…
All you need to create your own deer art is a styrofoam mannequin head, a fresh deer butt, a sharp knife and some glue and you are ready to get started making your own deer masterpiece.
This is indeed a disturbing universe.
Many people say that the real red neck art is the shaping of the deer anus to look like a mouth. This is the true test of the artists loving hand.
The anus can be made very simple, or you can stretch the anus for realistic effects such as smiles and frowns. In general, the leading deer butt artists concentrate on the details of the mouth.
Thank you, Mr Burleson, for exposing an ignorant city mouse like me to this rustic art form. Not since 1996 –when I fished a homemade hunting video called Mostly Squirrels out of the bargain bin at Poughkeepsie Video Barn– have I known such divine ecstasy.
DING DONG! Your mother can’t be with you anymore.
- Deer Butt “Doe Bell”
- Don’t delay… bid on beautiful deer butt (and squirrel butt, and rat butt) art on Ebay TODAY.
- Assquatch Guy’s Facebook profile
- Text-o-Possum and Compubeaver
All images via Don Burleson’s superlative site. Cheers!