Lynchian Hee Haw Nightmare Sauce

Comrades, decease do not watch this unless you are prepared to endure recurring nightmares about glassy-eyed Appalachian beatboxers (aka “eefers“) chasing you through dark, store claustrophobic pine forests for the rest of your life. You have been warned.

Via Sport Murphy.

Поющий кот Сальвадор / Salvador the Singing Cat (?)

I have no idea what you’re talking about, so here’s a vaguely phallic thumb-faced thingy singing a duet with a vaguely labia majora-lipped pussycat. In Russian. Honestly, I have no idea what they’re talking about, either. Wheeee!

Hey, Nadya! Welcome back from the playa! We can haz translation?

(Via E. Stephen Weirdo.)

Fitness Ace Power, Gangnam Style

Yesterday, GreatDismal tweeted a link to this stupefying Fitness Ace Power infomercial from South Korea. And Ross blogged about the music video for PSY’s mega-viral Kpop song, “Gangnam Style“. (A short time later, Ross experienced some sort of drug-induced psychotic break, and has since been in self-imposed latex bubble isolation in an undisclosed subterranean cell block several miles below the earth’s crust. But that’s not particularly relevant to this post.)

Today, courtesy of Sarah Deaton (because Ariana asked for it), here are two great tastes of Daehanminguk that taste great together. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, My Last Act Of Desperation

M.E.R., sovaldi sale

Towards thee I roll, prostate thou all-destroying but unconquering machine; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit this ancient Chuggo video at thee.

Defiant to the end,
Ross Rosebdsfksdlfklllllllllll

Dutch LOLcat Drone is GO!


If anyone can translate this mind-boggling WTFery into English for us, that’d be amazeballs. Thanks.

(Although, frankly, it’s already plenty amazeballs as it is.)

[Via @M1K3Y, Justin Pickard, Anne Galloway.]

Wrong Cops: Chapter 1

Wrong Cops is exactly what one would expect from the director of a film about a killer tire, which is to say it is bat-shit crazy. Coming off of the aforementioned Rubber, Quentin Dupieux (also known by his stage name, Mr Oizo) is back with a short film starring Marilyn Manson, Grace Zabriskie, and Mark Dunham as Officer Duke, the titular cop, which he premiered at this year’s Cannes Film Festival.

Duke begins his day selling marijuana stuffed into dead rats and listening to techno music. Making his rounds he comes upon Manson’s David Dolores Frank in a park. After a tense discussion about music, Duke escorts the young man to the house he lives in with his mother in order to educate the boy further. That, I think, is about as detailed a synopsis as I wish to give. As intimated previously, it’s a bizarre thirteen minutes which, apparently, Dupieux is looking to extend into a ninety minute feature, which may be the outer limit of what I could bear. This little taste is almost more than enough.

"Accoutrements Horse Head Mask" Customer Gallery on Amazon

Horse head customer photo, uploaded by Amazon user Mike.

My husband used to start everyday with the product and it really works. ? Canadian drugs are only shipped from our affiliated Canadian dispensary.

From the same site that brought you disgruntled reviews of A Million Random Digits comes this bizarre collection of photos. “This mask imbues the wearer with super-human abilities … the power to make everyone around you feel akward and uncomfortable being first among them,” writes one reviewer of this mask on Amazon.

The “Accoutrements Horse Head Mask” customer gallery shows horse-headed people going about their daily lives: reading books to children, playing Scrabble, passing out from too much booze, camping, spelunking, and more. [via raindrift]

“It’s a shame that you can still find this kind of discrimination in America.” Uploaded by Amazon user Michael Genovese.

"Crazy Clown Time" By David Lynch

Above you’ll find the official video, directed by David Lynch, for the title track of his new album Crazy Clown Time. It is officially a thing that exists. In it, Lynch narrates a series of Lynchian events at a Lynchian backyard barbecue as they transpire on screen in a manner sort of like singing but not really. It’s as if a film student set to work to reconstruct a David Lynch movie as related to them by someone who had had a few too many drinks. It may be the best David Lynch parody ever made.

(NSFW, unsurprisingly.)

Via poetv

Cat Butts Being Semi-Rhythmically Smacked to the Sound of Joy Division.

Nothing more need be said.

Gawk in silence:

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(Via Raquel Van Nice / Patrick McCracken. )

Osombie. No, really, Osombie.

You would probably want to be careful when making a movie that involves Afghanistan. You could, perhaps, be more cavalier in dealing with Osama bin Laden (in the U.S. at least), but I’d think you would want to exhibit some sort of sensitivity when making a film about a country we’ve been involved with on, let’s just say, unpleasant terms for a while now. It seems like a bad idea to make a film about a group of white people (like, super white people) running around a poor, war-torn country (our war, no less) doing sick karate kicks and slaughtering the local populace in droves, even if they’re “zombies”, and then have them partake in hot, white people make-out sessions in between said slaughter. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.