The future really is here! Not only do we have a black president, but Mattel has finally sanctioned a fishnet-wearing, corseted doll titled Goth Punk Barbie. Here she is. Goth. Punk. Barbie:

GPB (above, left) was released as a $70 collector’s item for Hard Rock Cafe, and makes quite a pair with Black Canary Barbie (right), a version of Barbie based on a comic character that drew fire from religious groups earlier this year for her BDSM appearance. But you know what? I like my Barbies in pink, frilly dresses. I like my Barbies to come with a miniature Easy-Bake Oven. I like my Barbies saying “Math is hard, let’s go shopping!” Because it makes it all the more satisfying to see shit like this:

However, my favorite products of a Barbie vivisection may be these classy adornments by artist Margaux Lange:

I love the idea of wearing little ears as earrings. So precious! Writes Lange, “Barbie has become the accessory instead of being accessorized. I take pleasure in the contrast and contradiction of something mass-produced being transformed and revealed as a unique, handmade, wearable piece of art.”

21 Responses to “We Need Barbie Pure (for the Virgin Sacrifice)”

  1. Ashe Mischief Says:

    Aww, Goth Punk Barbie is kind of cute! I’m also glad to see she is no longer as well endowed as she was when I was a kid…

    And I’m a huge fan of Margaux Lange! Hopefully one day I can adorn myself with the irony of Barbie as an accessory…

  2. Beth Says:

    thanks. Now I need a barbieboob pin in my life…

  3. Fifa Says:

    Oooo those pieces by Margaux are so reminiscent of Fleshlights that to me it’d feel like wearing tiny pieces of realdoll bits. Delicious!

  4. Tequila Tequila Says:

    The comic book geek and inner perv in me kinda digs that Barbie in the Black Canary outfit. Mainly cause it’s one of the cooler female characters to come out of the DC Universe. Quite the mix to see Barbie the symbol for the more girly girl side of femininity with the stronger “I can beat you in a bar brawl” side of femininity.

    That Zombie Killer Barbie seriously needs her own series…

    The goth punk one just looks like Barbie dressed up to go to a Jem concert or the Misfits (the cartoon version not the real life Danzig era band…though the current incarnation is a bit of a cartoon isn’t it?)

  5. Jerem Morrow Says:

    Actually, I’d wear the hell outta the top right Lange piece.

  6. Alice Says:

    That first mutilated Barbie (the one with fetus bits emerging from her torso) reminds me of a certain Barbie I had as a young’un–a pregnancy Barbie. Her flat tummy could be pushed in, a little baby Barbie placed on top, and then covered by a hard, plastic, snap-on pregnanty belly.

    No wonder the thought of being pregnant frightens me so.

  7. R. Says:

    Makes me think about all the Barbies I had who had their heads shaved, heads torn off, hands and feet chewed on. Ahhh, memories. I actually like GPB. Her outfit is kind of cute. Ten times better than the ANTM Barbie they had. She could have passed for a crackwhore, that one.

  8. justin Says:

    Do they make a paralyzed barbie?

  9. Mer Mer Says:

    Actually, Justin, Mattel did make a Barbie with a hot pink wheelchair…. Becky.

  10. Erin Says:

    Interesting to see that Mattel is shaking things up a little bit, but it still seems pretty tame by today’s standards. Gotta start somewhere I guess?

    I’m loving the boob pin however.

    Yet as a My Little Pony collector I can’t help but feel that the custom MLPs I’ve seen trump what the Barbie fans are throwing out there. ;)

  11. Jon Munger Says:

    I’m still waiting for Downe’s Syndrome Barbie. I want Barbie to go full retard.

  12. creativename creativename Says:

    I like Barbie of the Undead.

  13. lucylle lucylle Says:

    Mer: a friend of mine (strangely enough, I found out that Barbie collectors are social people as well) has the wheelchair barbie… she keeps it with the discarded ones she defaced as a teenager and it looks creepy as hell…

    That said, to me Mattel is just riding the wave of the several “alternative” dolls that have been available to most countries (though not mine, as per usual) for some years. Since store-bought dolls aren’t hot selling like the past, they probably wanted to tap another market… personally, I’d rather buy a one of a kind revamped one, usually they’re much more inventive… the Barbie jewellery is spot on.

  14. Cass Says:

    Did you see Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro @ Burning Man?

  15. I ♥ Digitalyn Dot Net : The Wordslinger » Barbie Gothoslut Says:

    [...] mater sa guitare, j’ai bien envie de me remettre aux Barbies moi… (Via Laugharne & Coilhouse) tagged Dolls « Et à propos de [...]

  16. Anja Flower Says:

    Goth punk? As in deathrock?

    Funny, she doesn’t look much like Dinah Cancer to me…

  17. BlueAnchorNatasha Says:

    I stumbled upon Lange a couple months ago, and I think shes brilliant, expensive to be sure, but Ive never seen another designer like her. Of course black canary drew shit from religious groups, what DOESNT draw crap from them? Its like people HAVE to have something to bitch about or their own day is wasted. I think Ill stay away from serial killer barbies. I dealt with those enough as a child.

  18. b Says:

    i, personally, miss barbie’s boobs. i like my barbies campy.

  19. b Says:

    oh and yes, they do make a paralyzed barbie… i’m serious… her name is Becky “barbie’s differently abled friend”

  20. Sepha Says:

    I did some looking around and came across this article on a mutilated Barbie doll sold in Singapore that is meant to raise awareness about not so well off children in Cambodia
    http://www.adrants.com/2006/12/mutilated-barbies-for-the-girl-who-has.php

  21. Cassandra Says:

    Check out the Barbie Murders: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=92462&section_id=5511273

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