Outlander: Vikings Fighting Aliens, Beeyotch.
Repeating for emphasis, people: VIKINGS. FIGHTING. ALIENS.
As an age old battle rages amongst the stars, Kainan’s ship burns brightly as it crashes into the Nordic coast. As his space craft comes to rest in the fjords of ancient Norway, it’s with dismay that Kainan realizes that he wasn’t the only survivor. A second passenger, a Moorwen also emerges from the wreckage. A Fierce and animal-like creature, the Moorwen is intent on causing harm to those it perceives have wronged it. As the Moorwen kills everything in its path, Kainan must work together with the Vikings to destroy the beast before it destroys them all.
Okay, so there’s only one alien. And they probably should have found someone other than a 7th grade remedial English student to write their plot synopsis…
WHO CARES? PRIMITIVES + SCI-FI = TWO GREAT TASTES THAT TASTE GREAT TOGETHER.
Right. Well, maybe it’s a wee bit suspect in a Chris Dane Owensy kind of way, but…
HELLO? BURLY, SWEATY, GRUNTING MEN WITH SWORDS FIGHTING A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE?
Kvlt as fuck, baby.
Verily, ’tis time I donned my sacred pewter dragon pendant from Medieval Times, whipped up a batch of special “tarragon” brownies and sojourned forth to one of the “limited release screenings” with only my bravest and most bake-ed friends.
Did I mention Ron Perlman’s in it?
(I still can’t believe we overlooked him in our Preternaturally Beautiful Men post.)
VIKINGS. ALIEN INVASION. RON PERLMAN.
HUZZAH.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:49 am
OH HELL YEAH!…it’s a bit like the 13th Warrior only with a much more historically believable plot.
So who of the LA readership is up for a midnight screening of this masterwork? It has to be playing somewhere…
Hey that’s right huh? Ole Ron didn’t make the cut in the Preternaturally Beautiful Men post did he? …for shame ladies…for SHAME. tsk. tsk.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:00 am
Oh, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you…
And John Hurt is in it, too?
(Back in the day, he surely would have made the cut as one of your ‘preternaturally beautiful men’.)
I’m looking forward to this opening and closing within the space of a single week-end down here in Dullsville*!
*a.k.a., Charlotte, NC
January 13th, 2009 at 4:11 am
‘Scuse me while I find my jaw…
This needs to be released in the UK and I mean now.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Ron Perlman will be in anything. ANYTHING.
I spent a few terrible minutes this weekend fast-forwarding through the ‘Dungeon Siege’ movie (based on the video game). It included Ron Perlman, Jon Rys Davies (Gimli from LOTR), some guy who looks like Legolas, aerial-silk climbing wood elves, Ray Liotta as the bad guy, and …. BURT REYNOLDS as the graybeard old king. Outstanding!
January 13th, 2009 at 5:21 am
Theres a creaky old Aliens comic with vikings in, like the sigourney weaver alien. this reminds me of that…a lot.
plus Ron Perlman, whats not to like?
January 13th, 2009 at 8:51 am
YES YES YES
I don’t know how you manage to find everything that is good in life, Mer, but bless you for sharing the joy.
January 13th, 2009 at 8:57 am
I tell you, if I ever get down in your neck of the woods there’s gonna be the BEST MOVIE PARTY EVAR.
I mean EVAR.
January 13th, 2009 at 8:59 am
It’s Highlander + Alien! Or Critters! Aha!
January 13th, 2009 at 9:51 am
I shall netflix this when the time comes.
January 13th, 2009 at 9:52 am
ooooh its released in the UK on 20th feb.Im so there, with a flagon of mead!!!
January 13th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
“Chris Dane Owens” VS “Predator”
This is epic. They even got Jesus to play the outlander:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001029/
January 13th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
I know, right?! Only this time his native tongue is Old Norse instead of Aramaic. EPIC WIN!!!
January 13th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
That character list is so bizarre. There’s a ‘Rothgar’ and an ‘Unferth,’ almost implying a Beowulf connection, but then there’s a ‘Boromir’ and a ‘Shishkebob,’ implying that the writers were HIGH.
I’m totally there for a midnight show in the L.A. area (assuming one happens. This being from the Weinstein Company, they’ll probably kill it after only a week in release in the already listed cities, and L.A.’ll never get it :( ).
January 14th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Mer must have “Cooldar” or something, how does she find all this cool stuff.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:00 am
@ Dave L.
Yeah I noticed that too after a bit more reading that the odds of an LA screening are unlikely. Still my hope is once it hits DVD in like say…2 weeks…a private screening can be arranged.
Oh the drunken hilarity…it could be the first film in the Coilhouse Screening Series…*hint hint nudge nudge* right Mer?! :D
January 14th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Count me in for a few bottles of “Coilhouse” brand red wine, unless it’s an ale only party. Just let the d20 make all the decisions. Now off I go to drink (wait for it…) 3 beers. Dammit. There’s always tomorrow.
January 15th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Thanks for linking in to my site. I like your readers. They seem like a fine, yeasty bunch. (In the very best way.) I desperately hope they all get a chance to see our film. However, as y’all pointed out, it’s with the Weinsteins and they seem hell-bent on killing every movie they come in contact with. Oh and the whole Beowulf thing was intentional – we wrote this 12 years ago as the sci-fi origin of Beowulf. Took us so long to get it off the ground we got overtaken by the latecomers. We threw in the Boromir in the spirit of circular reference, in that Tolkien got much of his LOTR material from Beowulf and was in fact a Beowulf scholar. And no, there is no Shishkebob character. (We weren’t THAT high.) Anyway, see it if you can – there’ll be info on the site (http://outlanderthemovie.wordpress.com/) as to where it’s showing. Thanks!
January 15th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
wait. has anyone noticed that the producer produced “lord of the ring” – not “lord of the rings”? huh? wha?
January 16th, 2009 at 3:14 am
Sorry, to rain on everyone’s parade, but Outlander ist the dumbest piece of steaming horseshit dropped out of the netherregions of Hollywood for quite some time. I suffered through its premiere at the film festival in Lausanne only because it cost me my left nut to get in…
While I agree that the premise rocks, the execution is so stupid that I am at a lack of words. The plot is as predictable as cliched and btw Ron Perlman is in it for all of 5 minutes (even though he looks kind of cool in his outfit/ addendum for the Ronfan – check out “I sell the dead”, even though I havn’t seen it yet, it looks promising)
January 16th, 2009 at 4:01 am
haha now I really want to see that one ;) Dragons, vikings and all round hot guys JUMM!
January 16th, 2009 at 7:15 am
Somehow ‘epic’ just doesn’t seem to cover it.
January 16th, 2009 at 11:19 am
I’m sorry Christian didn’t like it, and I, with the rest of the world, mourn his lost left nut. I hope it doesn’t hinder his ability to populate the world with more of him. However, I wonder what in fact he did see, because Outlander was never at a festival in Lausanne. Perhaps it was Clerks 2.
January 19th, 2009 at 4:49 am
Sorry, my bad. It was Locarno not Lausanne. Please attribute to bloodloss and nutcuttingtrauma…