Cthulhu Meditation: Listen On Dry Land!


A spectrogram of the mysterious “Bloop.”

Y’all know about “The Bloop”, right? Via Wiki:

The Bloop is the name given to an ultra-low frequency underwater sound detected by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration several times during the summer of 1997. The source of the sound remains unknown. The sound, traced to somewhere around 50° S 100° W (South American southwest coast), was detected repeatedly by the Equatorial Pacific Ocean autonomous hydrophone array, which uses U.S. Navy equipment originally designed to detect Soviet submarines. According to the NOAA description, it “rises rapidly in frequency over about one minute and was of sufficient amplitude to be heard on multiple sensors, at a range of over 5,000 km.” According to scientists who have studied the phenomenon, it matches the audio profile of a living creature but there is no known animal that could have produced the sound. If it is an animal, it would have to be, reportedly, much larger than even a Blue Whale, the largest known animal on the earth.

OMG, R’YLEH?! But seriously. That is some mind-rending, scary-ass, dont-think-about-it-too-hard-or-you’ll-shit-a-squid kinda stuff, people! Forget about alien invasion from outer space. Our destruction shall come from the depths. I’m telling you.

Some kooky Thelemite going by the humble title of Frater Tanranin Uhcheek Gozaknee, 222 has composed the following “Cthulhu Meditation” using original Bloop sound files (as well as what sounds suspiciously like a human left-cheeky-sneaky thrown in for lulz) and put it on YouTube. Quite mesmerizing, actually! I recommend popping some ‘luudes and listening to it in the bathtub. With the lights on.


Favorite Youtube comment: “Maybe it’s Cthulhu farting!” Second favorite: “Maybe it’s Amy Winehouse!”

22 Responses to “Cthulhu Meditation: Listen On Dry Land!”

  1. Tao Says:

    That is, in fact, super cool to think about. C’thulhu fhtagn!

    It’s worth mentioning that Thelemites are probably the least kookiest of the religious demographic. Blowing yourself up for god or crusading for the right to a barren piece of land seems a LOT kookier to me.

  2. Mer Says:

    Kooky is a term of endearment, coming from me, dear. (I happen to be quite smitten on a thelemite.)

  3. Alice Says:

    I agree about the creature that brings our doom coming from somewhere mysterious on our own planet. Cloverfield did something right!

  4. Kitty Napalm Says:

    If it’s not Cthulhu, it’s at least our friendly neighbourhood Kraken. :D

  5. Mer Says:

    LO! A loud noise has emanated from… THE KRAKEN.

    Also, many bubbles.

    RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

  6. Ashbet Says:

    OMG, Mer. You did NOT just make a reference to Kraken-farts.

    “The Kraken’s cracked one?”

    I’m going to HELLLLLL.

    I’d heard of the Bloop, but this meditation is a new one on me . . . *goes off to listen*

  7. Zach Says:

    Cthulhu didn’t just fart. He makes a lot of other weird noises out in the briny depths of the Pacific.

    Here’s the whole NOAA collection of unidentified sounds:
    http://www.pmel.noaa.gov/vents/acoustics/specs_mystery.html

  8. David Forbes Says:

    there is no known animal that could have produced the sound. If it is an animal, it would have to be, reportedly, much larger than even a Blue Whale, the largest known animal on the earth.

    Holy crap, Mer, I think more of my hair just turned white.

    This is fascinating! I had no idea about the “Bloop.” I find this sort of thing an amazing reminder of the good news that the world is a larger, stranger place than we can ever truly comprehend.

    Though Cthulhu’s got competition these days. Great Old One vs. Swarms of undying jellyfish! We are so utterly doomed.

  9. Jon Munger Says:

    I knew I picked the wrong century to stop the human sacrifices…

  10. R. Says:

    Being a huge fan of talk about anything scary at the depths of the ocean…this makes me cackle with glee.

  11. EricAdams Says:

    There is another unidentified recording from the Pacific Ocean during the Summer of 1997 commonly referred to as “Slow Down”. Details and the recording in the wiki article.

  12. zeitzeuge Says:

    Holy crap. That sound give me the creeps.

    And the other sounds also. Train ist eerie.

    I don`t want to think about it.

  13. Skerror Says:

    Yes! Seriously…how much more fun is this planet going to be with a proper leviathan sea monster terrorizing the seas?

    @David Forbes: Even if those jellyfish don’t do us in…they could end up being an unlimited food source for whatever does :o

    Dolphins, we need you now more than ever.

  14. Ben Morris Says:

    We shouldn’t eliminate the possibility that it could be Leviathan. I suggest we get a golden submarine, a computer named FUCKUP and a dolphin named Howard to investigate.

  15. q gauti Says:

    ungl’unl’rrlh’chchch!

  16. Bunny Says:

    Its Kenneth Grant turning over in his sleep.

  17. Bunny Says:

    Mer: awwwwwww *gets all smiley*

    Tao: Thelemites arent kooky at all. I am reminded of Michael Aquino’s observation during the copyright case of the Caliphate OTO vs Motta

    “While sitting in the courtroom watching Judge Legge preside sternly over the slug-out, I couldn’t help wondering if he had any idea he was ruling on which group had legal claim to anal sex as the supreme religious sacrament in the United States.”

    I keed I keed :) 93 my friend :)

  18. Saoki Says:

    I find it soothing. Is my sanity gone already?

  19. xdragon Says:

    the sound has been sped up 16x. slow it back down (and turn up your subwoofer) for a much more ominous experience…

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  21. Heather Says:

    every time i listen to this I think I don’t live far enough away from the sea. but i just keep listening.

  22. Novie Says:

    I am thoroughly unnerved by the panic this caused in my animals. The cats and dog are not amused by whatever it is.

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