The Horror Of Nature: The Slingjaw Wrasse

Nature is a cruel, twisted bitch; the overseer of a vast menagerie of strange and awful things. These creatures were put on this Earth to inhabit our nightmares. Witness then, the horrible distended jaws of the appropriately named Slingjaw Wrasse, filmed in excruciating slow motion so that one may fully appreciate the powerful thrust of this fish’s disgusting (or, perhaps, just lazy?) eating habits. Yes, for now they are feeding on insects, but it is only a matter of time (or a matter of a massive dose of radiation) before they develop a taste for the human brain. Evolution will take care of the rest, no doubt bestowing upon them appendages not unlike our own legs, allowing them to walk upon the land — looking every bit like a Hieronymus Bosch creation come to life — if only for long enough to crack open the soft, eggshell-like skull of a child and slurp out its contents like so much jelly. Mark my words: The time is nigh; best to wipe them out while they can only swim!

12 Responses to “The Horror Of Nature: The Slingjaw Wrasse”

  1. Discontinued Says:

    Evolutionarily very interesting as jaws are one of the first bony structures to emerge. They are derived from forward gill structures. Here you can see more of the connection between those two structures and how new structures arise from existing phenotypes(sorry x men fans the trait has to be there to modify). Evolution and Selection at work here pardon our dust.

  2. Tertiary Says:

    So. The cousins of the Deep Ones on film!
    They already walk the land, my friend.
    They already walk the land.

  3. Zoetica Says:

    You know what, I ain’t gonna be a hater. Frankly, I wish *I* could do that with my face. CHOMP.

  4. jessu Says:

    That creeps me the eff out.

  5. Konstantin Says:

    Horror? Why, I resent that. Surely you meant to write “Beauty”? Not only is that a biomechanical marvel and an evolutionary delight, but it’s an absolute treat to watch! Come on now, it launches its face! And the vacuum it creates to suck the prey in? Pure biology porn!

  6. JoAsakura Says:

    SCARY FISH WILL EAT MY BRAIN! NoOoOOoooo

  7. Arcko Says:

    Certainly amongst the world’s more fascinating sea creatures. However, some of these bastards gave me many a nightmare as a young child who discovered them in my mother’s marine biology textbooks. Specifically something like nature’s amalgamation of teeth and more teeth at 1:21 in the above video.

  8. Kale Kip Says:

    What Zo’s saying. Practicing right now.

  9. cappy Says:

    I’m sure the Creator had a perfectly good reason for designing these, right Republicans?

    …right?

  10. Patricia Says:

    Not very scary :P I was expecting something creepier like how a moray eel has a second set of jaws with teeth that come out from its throat then retract to drag prey in ala Alien! I’ve only seen an x-ray view of it.

    http://ucdavismagazine.ucdavis.edu/issues/win08/end_notes.html

  11. Erin Says:

    If you love things like this, you should join the livejournal community wtf_nature: http://community.livejournal.com/wtf_nature/

    It’s chock full of fucked up creatures and phenomena, and I’m pretty sure I saw this guy on there awhile ago. One of my favorites is the pistol shrimp that releases a stream of bubbles from its claw that temporarily reaches THE TEMPERATURE OF THE SUN. (or very nearly)

    “Damn nature, you scary!”

  12. Sporky Says:

    Imagine if humans have those kinds of jaws?

    “I’m hungry but the pizza is half an arm’s length away from me…”
    *SHLIIING!*