I am the Eggman, Chocka DOOO BEEEEE
Storyteller du jour Si Spurrier just introduced me to the Mayor of Nightmare Town. Would you like to meet him?
Usually I have a lot of trouble finding common ground with the average YouTube commenter, medicine but in this case, sovaldi sale I concur wholeheartedly with dud8112084:
“If i ever see that thing ima blow its brains out with a 12 gauge.”
In the name of all that is good and wholesome, ed will someone please tell me who was working in ads and marketing over at Ferrero for the Kinder Surprise line in the 80s? Leprechauns? Crackheads? Seriously. I am confounded and terrified. Can anyone out there tell me where these demonic puppetmasters have gone? I must know.
Send any and all pertient information regarding the unholy Eggmaster to [email protected].
Please help. Please. The kinder eggs grow restless. They rustle and mewl in the dark oh please god help me I may never sleep again.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:48 am
The search is over:
THANK YOU, MER!
January 25th, 2008 at 2:03 am
Thanks for sharing the nightmare. That is truly terrifying. I have to wonder if it served as inspiration for Alan Cummings’ character’s creations in the first Spy Kids movie…
January 25th, 2008 at 3:04 am
Dubblee chockadoobeeee! Yes, if anyone finds out anything about who did this can you post it here too? I’d also like to see anything else they may have done. That was ridiculous :)
January 25th, 2008 at 5:31 am
Those toys are great. Lots of puzzles and small parts. I think they must have a lot more respect for the intelligence of their children over in Europe.
Also. That eggmaster is horrible. Eugh.
January 25th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Yep Eggmaster is really weird… reminded me of that sick feeling that I had watching the goblins in Legend…… animatronics will always be scarier than CGI
January 25th, 2008 at 10:09 am
oh. fuck.
are we to assume he met his horrible, splattery doom below that wall?
if so, are we supposed to be charmed by his demise because he exclaimed, “wheee!” just before killing himself???
perhaps they threw it in to give us some form of subconscious comfort, “it’s ok, he’s dead now, GO BUY KINDER SURPRISE!”
i am now imagining spilled egg-man entrails and torn between joy and horror.
January 25th, 2008 at 10:33 am
What a delightful horror to wake up too!
That said Eggmaster survived the fall and later wandered the land yelling “Chocka-Dooobie” in the dead of night. In small villages and towns the words are considered a curse and every year a chocolate filled toy child is sacrificed to him…
Do not make the mistake of mocking him however. For it has been said to do so will result in him waking you from your sleep by cracking open your skull and looking for toys.
January 25th, 2008 at 10:50 am
That’s total acid conciousness right there.
Not the writhing, shrieky, explodey, octopoidal phase, but the miasmatic,”I see and know far too much”, body-horror phase where newscasters on television look like warbling meat bags, discharging lunatic poetry from their glistening, pink orifices.
I can easily see the Egg Man as an enormous Ron Mueck-style sculpture.
January 25th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
“Not the writhing, shrieky, explodey, octopoidal phase, but the miasmatic,”I see and know far too much”, body-horror phase where newscasters on television look like warbling meat bags, discharging lunatic poetry from their glistening, pink orifices.”
Haha, that’s great Paul :) I need to watch Videodrome again…
The Eggmaster is too hilarious for me to get to his more horrific aspects. I’d trust him not to crack open my skull in search of toys. I guess I could see how he might be able to make my head explode with some ramped-up squibbilee squoobilee rhetoric though… Yeah, you guys are right, he’s not to be trusted.
January 25th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
This should help:
I Love Egg
October 20th, 2009 at 2:23 am
Do they still make them like they did in the original version? I actually know exactly where to get some, and now Im curious.. And terrified.
December 1st, 2009 at 11:07 pm
well , i love the cute little egg-man !!!!!!!!!!!!! if you agree , go on to veryeggie.webs.com , the official fansite for this cute little creature !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)