“I am very glad, because I’m finally back home.”

At the risk of offending the Soviets in the audience I present this gentleman to you with limited commentary; instead allowing his melodious singing voice and terrifying rictus to speak for themselves.

And, cialis my, they speak volumes.

Posted by Ross Rosenberg on February 25th, 2010
Filed under Art, Faboo, Horror, Madness, Music, Russia, Serious Business, Silly-looking types, Surreal, Taxidermy, Uncanny Valley

29 Responses to ““I am very glad, because I’m finally back home.””

  1. Heather Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:25 am

    sounds like mister bean!! what decade??? I’m guessing somewhere in that wasteland of polyester between ’65 and ’85…

  2. drea Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Hmm, his mouth is spread too far out to the sides when he sings and it sounds like his throut is very tense…he’s also kind of nasal.

  3. Sam Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Are we sure this guy isn’t animatronic?

  4. guesswho9 Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    If it’s animatronic, It’s defentitely stage two of Disney’s world domination plan after Mickey, Then The Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana.
    Is stage three the third Reich or something.

  5. Ameli Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    This is great!!!
    on the left side of the video it says 1976…

  6. Teri's Digs - artifacts from 2010-02-24 through 2010-02-25 « Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    […] “I am very glad, because I’m finally back home.” – […]

  7. Zoetica Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Wow, Ross. I will always remember today as the day I wanted to both hug and stab you more than other days. Thanks for subjecting us to this!

  8. Mer Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    Henceforth, this singing, walking, terrifying rictus-in-a-suit is going to follow me through my nightmares with a machete. Thanks a lot, Ross.

  9. rowley Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Am in favor of any phenomenon that can be described with the phrase “terrifying rictus.” Which is spot-on in this case, BTW. I blame you for the dreams I will have tonight.

  10. Hughes. Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    This is the greatest human that ever lived. He is my King.

  11. Larissa Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    From here on out whenever someone is saying something I do not want to hear, I am going to sing this song complete with the requisite terrifying facial expressions to drown out their loathsome words! Get ready student loan officer! Luh luh luh lu la la la luh la la!

  12. Patricia Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    The highlight for me was at 1:20 or so when he suddenly chucks in a falsetto then justs as quickly switches to bass. I’ll have to share this!

  13. trampledshadow Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    twitch…

  14. Dave C Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 1:48 am

    Can’t get this song out of my head now, dammit! Or his inhuman grin. Is that a wig as well? Truly a man amongst men.

  15. OGD Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 2:37 am

    It’s like a shop window dummy came to life having just received a blowjob made of valium.

  16. Andriy Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 5:41 am

    My Russian’s not that good, but I’m going to guess he’s not actually saying real words; it sounds like he’s just singing “LOL” for a lot of the time towards the end.

  17. SheGeek Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 7:23 am

    I watched it. Can you help me?

  18. Vivacious_G Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 8:00 am

    I really want to know what he is yayaya-ing and nananaaaaa-ing about. Did he just get laid?

    Other than that, I must say…well, his vocal range and tone are really rather amazing. That might be a great, albeit fancy, singing warm up. And, well, I feel like my day is off to a happy start. Happiness tinged with horror, who knew that was possible?

  19. Kale Kip Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 9:10 am

    There’s terrible consequences to shooting up formaldehyde.

  20. Martini Says:
    February 27th, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Oh christ. All I can think of is Clive Barker’s The Thief of Always, and “song and dance man”, as a phrase, is now permanently associated with this guy.

  21. Marina Says:
    February 27th, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Holy crap, Ross! I’m suddenly overcome with various haunting ludicrous ru-TV-concert-rerun flashbacks from childhood and need more counseling/bartending service than I can afford. Thaaanks.

    Big CH fan, for always.
    -M

  22. JoAsakura Says:
    February 27th, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    Are we sure this isn’t from the Russian musical version of “Westworld”?

  23. Adriano1977 Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 7:20 am

    I completely agree with Larissa and Dave C.: The song has appalling “ohrwurm” qualitites, and the singing, the lack of coeherent words, the setting, the trash movie serial killer smile all make for a lesson in psychoterror and mind torture… !

  24. Nadya Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 8:00 am

    As always, I had to Get To The Bottom Of This. I did a bunch of research and was about to write it up, and then BOOM. I found that someone beat me to the punch:

    http://www.occams-razor.info/tags/eduard_hill

    I loved the write-up, so I’m reposting it all, though on the site, the author provides hyperlinks in places in the text:

    If like me you don’t understand Russian, you end up going to Google Translate to figure out the title of the video, which is “I am very glad, because I’m finally back home”. If I had to guess the title it would be, “I ingested ten times more Prozac than the doctor allowed.”

    I mean, wow! For me, not even The Wedding Dance video can come close to this 2:41 little gem from what appears to be the glorious era of the Soviet Union. I am guessing it was made sometime in the 1970s when the Cold War was still grinding on and Comrade Brezhnev was in charge. It just reeks of plasticity and phoniness, yet it is somehow kind of compelling. I dare you to stop watching it in the middle.

    The “singer” here is apparently a Russian named Eduard Hill. Hill is apparently obscure enough in America not even to merit a Wikipedia page, but he does have a Facebook fan page. It was weird enough that even Huffington Post picked it up. A check of Google did not reveal much about the guy. Eduard Hill, whose real name is apparently Eduard Anatolyevich, is still around, apparently living in Saint Petersburg. You can see an updated picture of him here. From what little I can find of the guy on the web, he apparently does not sing. Rather he mimes. This is obvious from watching the video. He could have used more rehearsal because his lip syncing is poor, to say the least.

    Still, Hill is mesmerizing. Is he alive? Are there little puppet strings coming down from the rafters directing him when to smile? He looks all botoxed around the eyes. His smile looks like a doll maker stitched it onto his face. Then there is that goofy gate as he saunters onto the stage, not to mention the very cheesy visual effects. Apparently, he is glad to be home, which for most Russians back in the 1970s probably meant a gray cinderblock apartment complex. I guess the proper way to return home after a long trip is to dress in suit and tie.

    As for the music, I have no idea who actually sings it, but it too is hypnotic and catchy like a TV commercial jingle. You may find yourself humming it in the car. Lyrics? You don’t need to know Russian, such much of it is “La la la, la la la, la la la la la.” Then there is the staging, such as it is. Where did they get that weird iron latticework? Moreover, why are there only three colors: brown, beige and yellow? Who is he waving to? His neighbors? If my neighbor were greeting me like this, I would be running to get a gun.

    In short, this is exactly the sort of weird officially sponsored “entertainment” you would expect from the world’s biggest communist state back in the 1970s. While Hill looks plastic, some tiny part of him looks like he is having a root canal or a high colonic. It’s like someone has a pitch fork to his ass and that’s the only reason he’s smiling.

    Whatever this is, it’s a gem. YouTube had best never delete it. It deserves its own weird immortality.

    I am very glad, because I’m finally back home.

  25. rowley Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    And we deserve a support group. It’s going on 3 days, now, and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep, and I can’t get that song — or that terrifying rictus — out. Of. My. Head.

  26. erika Says:
    March 1st, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    I actually lived through this…

  27. Kahimi Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    I just saw this clip on the Colbert Report! Strange moment…

  28. Marina Galperina Says:
    March 12th, 2010 at 5:10 am

    Yes, Colbert clip – wtf? It was an elating allusion.

    And now Christoph Waltz! Hell of a way to finally bury a meme. How long has this vid been around anyway? I’m being comment-booed that it’s not going to last. Bah.

    Christoph Waltz Acts a Fool and Horror-tastic Russian Meme Explained
    http://bit.ly/9Cq1D9

    Thanks for the giddies, CH!
    Come up to NYC!

  29. Nadya Says:
    March 15th, 2010 at 7:17 pm

    You know… I was really moved by this clip of 75-year-old Eduard Khil reacting to his new Internet fame:

    The translation’s not that great, but he’s basically making jokes as he watches the videos, and at the end, he says “yes, it’s parody, but it’s benevolent parody. Look at the state of them. I see people of different nationalities singing, being jovial, it makes me feel good.”

    I’m really glad to see him in good health and with such a great attitude.

    Bless!