Modular Pooch: A New Life Awaits

We here at Coilhouse are enthusiastic proponents of body mods. Be it through hair, fashion or tattoos, we’re all about the power of transformation! Sandy Paws Grooming Shop feels the same way.

If you’re in California and possess a large curly canine, you can call up Sandy Paws for a transformation of your pets’ very own. A cut, a color and a bit of vision go a long way, as these images prove. Why settle for a pedestrian poodle when you can have a blue peacock? Or, how about a camel, a ninja turtle, or even a dragon?

Don’t let your furry friends protest! After all – what do they know about beauty? Here is their chance to transcend their earthly shell and be born anew. This is no time for reservation, so don’t be shy. Let your fantasy run wild and they’ll thank you in the end. ..Right? You decide, while you check out some of my other favorites under the jump.

40 Responses to “Modular Pooch: A New Life Awaits”

  1. Jami Says:

    The ninja turtle one terrifies me.

  2. OneOfUs Says:

    Crackpot craftmanship aside…. all I can say is….

    THE HORROR!! THE HORROR!!!

    Then again… I don’t know what’s worst…. the decadence of the dog designs or her desperate, but yet silent, cry to the world for a personal stylist while trying to fall in as thematic background…

    There is a very thin line between this kind of abuse and starting to sing ‘Goodbye horses’ in front of a mirror while donning her very own “speciel” outfit…

  3. Stylecunt Says:

    Each one seems to have that ‘Kill me, please’, look in their eyes.

  4. Seth Says:

    This brings to mind that fun urban myth where the cat (dog for this instance) lady dies alone, and her beloved pets have eaten her after running out of food, by the time the cops find her remains. So sad to see a born hunting dog (yep, poodles are a hunting breed) put through this. Though I suddenly have an urge to dress my blood python up as Paris Hilton! … and it just bit me on my face.

  5. OneOfUs Says:

    Double post…

  6. CamyLuna Says:

    I admire the work that went into the creations, but I kinda have the feeling that I get when I see a mom and her little girl wear the same outfits – puzzled sympathy.

    What I really want to see are those doggies after a day romping in the park and getting all muddy.

  7. Vivacious G Says:

    I feel kinda sick looking at this, but then again, I’m no vegetarian either. I guess the dog didn’t mind or she’d have giant bite marks on her?

  8. Krista Says:

    That is the most idiotic, pointless thing I’ve ever seen.
    Seriously, what the hell? Those dogs can’t be happy….
    I don’t know, could that be considered a form of mental/emotional torture, perhaps?

    Also, for the record, its just plain creepy as well.

  9. Tequila Says:

    So Zo…has the craftsmanship of this crackpot visionary inspired any cosmetic changes to your own 4 legged friend? You can’t say the TMNT one didn’t make a light bulb glow bright over your head.

    I saw this via LJ and the hilarious horror of it all does not lose its punch. The camel one is total and absolute win. I admire the woman for going full on with her ideas…just keep her away from the genetic gene splicer and I think humanity is safe.

    Side Note: By all accounts and info from the site itself…it’s the same dog! That makes it all the more creepy cool.

  10. Zoetica Says:

    Jami, that one is sure to give me nightmares, too!

    OneOfUs – I LOLed. Did you notice the antennae in the last shot?

    Seth, imagine the shock of the detectives when they com upon this scene: two fluffed up pastel-colored poodles +bloody maws + gnashing teeth.

  11. Zoetica Says:

    Tequila, that… The gene-splicing didn’t even occur to me. I know you think we’re safe, but now that the idea is in my head I’m terrified regardless.

    I couldn’t do much in the way of color, but hey – maybe some sporty stripes shaved into Micron’s side could occur! A lightning blot?

  12. andy r. Says:

    man, i was looking at these earlier this week. pretty crazy stuff to do to yur dog. there’s something completely terrifying about it. i’m not sure how i’d react if i saw one coming down the street.

  13. OneOfUs Says:

    Zoetica : I did… I did indeed… and now the unspeakable horror suddenly dawns on me about the genesplicing part… don’t feel to sure(or safe) that attempts hasn’t already been successfully made…

    OMG!

  14. S3 Says:

    This reminds me of that ‘Why Paint Cats” book. Only… more obsessive.

  15. Samantha Says:

    Zoe – the gene splicing “upgrade” can be arranged….

  16. Egon Says:

    Does the ASPCA know about this yet?

  17. R. Says:

    Rebel, pooch! Rebel and bite the living hell out of your owner.

  18. Thews Says:

    at first i was all like hahaha, so funny, then the harsh reality set in, now i sad

  19. Jon Munger Says:

    I wonder if any of these people will gussy up a mentally unstable cat. They might not live through it, but I’d like to think they’d try. Art stops for no canine, feline, or ungulate.

  20. BlueAnchorNatasha Says:

    That woman needs to be put to sleep.

  21. Rae Says:

    Im honestly not sure what to think about this… the creations are certainly… interesting… but i could never do that to my dogs

  22. Alice Says:

    So I’m assuming they’re using some sort of special safe-for-dogs dye. Unless it’s just the old boiled Kool Aid-as-hair-dye trick.

    The design I can get behind here is the camel-cut. It’s like a bonsai tree, only it’s…a fake camel.

  23. meardearna Says:

    I’m horrified by what they’ve done to the dogs and terrified by the fact that I found them amusing the first time I saw them (in Japan a few years ago)!

    Can you imagine this kind of thing happening to less obedient creatures, like cats? Even for loyal pooches, it’s really hard on them! My aunt’s dog had to go through some major surgery once and had all its coat shaved off. The transformation traumatised it and changed the dog’s confidence so much that it has since refuse to walk pass a mirror. Also I dressed my dog up in a t-shirt and a belt once. My family loved it, we all stared at the dog but she got freaked out and just stood there like the poodles above, giving the saddest look possible on a pooch.

  24. Seth Says:

    @Zoe: You’re right, that would be pretty damn awesome. Almost as good as zombie gorillas, but not quite as ftw. Poodle comes from their Germanic name of “pudelhund”, or water dog! Kudos to you, I was intrigued enough to actually learn something about the breed. “Coilhouse: It Givez Teh Lerningz”

  25. Peter S. Says:

    Proof dogs love us more than life itself. Any other creature with the ability to do so would tear out the owner’s larynx and leave the offender clawing at the dusty ground as they bled out.

    I’m with Alice on the camel, though.

  26. Ben Morris Says:

    The End of the World tag may be all too apt.

    I fear this grievous assault on canine dignity will be the casus belli for dog-kind declaring war on humanity (like Warren Ellis has long prophesied).

  27. Scott Says:

    At least when i used to go hunting I made a quick kill of it. I really feel for these animals. I hope there is an afterlife and the dogs get to reverse the situation.

  28. KuntaKente Says:

    i feel bad for the dogs, but i can’t help but be amused.
    at least if they look like that they won’t have to get spade or nudered.

  29. celine Says:

    I wonder what the dogs were thinking… I find in somehow interesting, yet I feel bad for those doggies…

  30. Annie Copeland Says:

    The one good thing about this new art form is that likely hunters will leave these creatures alone, not being quite sure what they might be and whether or not they are dangerous! (Chuckles) Geez, and I thought my dogs got a real beauty treatment yesterday when the two girls went to my beauty shop and Spunky (the male minischnauzer) got to go to my barber shop. And Baby Charlie – well, he got to go to get THE operation! He would probably rather have been painted! But then, maybe if he WERE painted, I wouldn’t have known he needed THE operation! Chuckles, Annie Way neat blog site!!! I had no clue you were branching out in so many kewl directions! You go, Monsoir Tristan!!!

  31. Lisa Says:

    Don’t let your furry friends protest???? You do this purely for you own gratification. Bordering on animal abuse. They give us unconditional love and what do you do to them? You should be ashamed of yourself.

  32. PAUL Says:

    Thats fucking wrong.
    If dogs were smart enough to think for themselves, (and had imposable thumbs) I hand that dog a gun.
    And I know what would happen.
    He would first off his half retarded she beast of an owner.
    Proceeding to shit upon her manly she beasty chest.
    And the only thing left to be done would be to turn the gun on himself.
    Just for the sheer fact that the helpless little creature he used to be before all this bedazzle, Elton John, Queer eye for the defenseless little animal shit happened is no more.
    And all that exists now is this dumb bitches my size poochie.
    I pity what her children looked like growing up.

  33. Mer Says:

    Paul, you’ve obviously given all of this a lot of thought, if not proper grammar and punctuation.

    I don’t know what imposable thumbs are, but I want some!

  34. Jim Smith Says:

    Just when you think you have seen the ultimate stupidity in tattoos, piercings, and body modifications, something like this comes along to show you that you haven’t. It’s bad enough that people destroy their own bodies with those things, but now they have to do their pets? They need to go to Lives ‘R Us and make a purchase.

  35. Jazzy Says:

    Absolutely ridiculous. Who would do this and still think of themselves as owning a piece of normalcy?

  36. ck Says:

    Oh my god I think im going to be sick! what is this a clown dog circus? shame on you people!

  37. Taylor Says:

    Dogs shouldnt be exploited like that…its terrible

  38. Kathy Says:

    Why does everyone consider this cruel exploitation? You’re going to get the dog groomed anyway, so it’s not like the trauma of a different style of trimming is going to make a difference. I imagine these dogs have much bigger things to worry about than their dignity, like where that tennis ball went and whether or not you’ll take them for a car ride.

    It’s a silly thing to do, but to call it animal torture is way over the top. Save that term for animals who are being beaten or starved, not animals with strange haircuts. I’m sure this disturbs a dog way less than being shoved into a doggy sweater and having mittens put on its paws, and people don’t hesitate to do that.

  39. this is shameful Says:

    This borders on animal cruelty. The owner needs some sort of psychological intervention, and the dog needs a better family

  40. ValinaV Says:

    Kathy,

    Because this IS cruel exploitation. If someone did that to their child, would you be thinking the same way? Also, who knows if she’s using animal safe dye? I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t, with the way she’s ridiculing her dog. She should be one hundred percent ashamed of herself. Not to mention the fact that SHE needs a better trim in the first place.

    Also, I’m sure you don’t care about the animals that you chow down on every night that have been and are being beaten and starved-your definition of animal torture. So if you don’t care about this dog either, I wouldn’t be surprised.