God likes no one

God hates goths

Posted by Mildred Von on August 26th, 2007
Filed under Conspiracy theories, Silly-looking types, Testing your faith, We disapprove

12 Responses to “God likes no one”

  1. Paul Komoda Says:
    August 29th, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    “KNOWING THE WARNING SIGNS”

    I’m reading down the” Reverand’s” list that informs concerned parents about the many tell-tale signs that their child may be becoming….a GOTH.

    “…WEARS FANGS OR DRESSES LIKE A VAMPIRE.”

    Mmmmkay….been there, done that.(Oh boy have I done that.)

    “…OWNS AN EXCESSIVE AMMOUNT OF HORROR MOVIES.”

    Moi?! Oh pshaw!

    “…STICKS BROKEN GLASS UP HIS/HER OWN ANUS.”

    Hasn’t everyone?”

    “…HAS FRIENDS WHO ARE JEWS”

    Ummm…….pardon me?

    Then it goes on to declare that a child can become demonically possessed while reading Harry Potter. The mind positively quails, ladies and gentlemen.

    While the veracity of this site’s pernicious, theologically driven perspective leans somewhat on the dubious side I DO have to credit it for providing a serious morning’s entertainment.

    Christian extremists just COULDN’T be this silly could they?

    -Paul

  2. zerone! Says:
    October 11th, 2007 at 5:12 am

    …
    Entertaining, but totally made up. No one can be that full of bullshit, not even a man sculpted from bullshit.

  3. christy Says:
    October 23rd, 2007 at 6:29 am

    god hates us all, women who wear gold and pearls? all of the retards? whoever wrote this should burn in hell to a sharpe and grossly bland crisp

  4. Rachael Says:
    October 27th, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    Is it a very detailed joke? Some of it just seems to be too ridiculous, like the comments from apparently normal people about goths.

    Please, please, please tell me it’s a joke.

    Satire, surely?

  5. Emily Rishea Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    OMG that was hilarious. And after viewing this gallery I finally am beginning to understand why God hates me:
    http://www.godhatesgoths.com/meetthefreaks.html

    My favourites of course are the “Bitch please I raped your god” chick and the “I’m the devil I love metal” girl.

    I’m so excited for their updates!

    COMING SOON TO GOD HATES GOTHS . COM!

    NEW ‘GOD HATES WOMEN’ SECTION UNDER CONSTRUCTION … ‘DE-GOTHING YOUR CHILD’ SECTION UPDATED

    ALSO LOOK OUT FOR THESE FORTHCOMING ARTICLES… ARE GOTHS RESPONSIBLE FOR GLOBAL WARMING? WHY WICCANS ARE SACRIFICING BABIES! LEARN THE SECRET GOTH HANDSHAKE! LEARN WHY CATS ARE EVIL, AND HATED BY GOD! HITLER – WAS HE THE FIRST GOTH? IS YOUR CHILD SAFE FROM GOTHIC PREDATORS? … AND MUCH MUCH MORE…

    … ONLY AT GODHATESGOTHS.COM

    I imagine it being read by Sean Connery for peak effect.

  6. Sam Ramirez Says:
    March 14th, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Well, I guess god hates all of us. Anyways this is the funniest site I have ever seen!!! I am also glad to know god hates retarded people…yup, tell it like it is

  7. Sam Ramirez Says:
    March 14th, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    another thing, i looked at the site some more and they have tools to beat “satan” out of your child and this was on there:

    “THE PEAR – MY PERSONAL FAVORITE! THE PEAR IS A DEVICE WHICH EXPANDS WHILE INSERTED ORALLY, ANALLY OR VAGINALLY. IT’S A TRIED AND TESTED METHOD OF EXTRACTING THE DESIRED CONFESSION.”

    WTF!?

  8. Erica!!! Says:
    May 13th, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    “DRESSING UP LIKE A SICK CIRCUS FREAK IS A DIRECT DEFIANCE TO GOD.”
    I had been going more for the “satanic whore” look he mentions earlier, but now I’m curious and want to try out this aesthetic.
    this guy is silly! sillysillysilly!
    and seems to be channeling my father…..

  9. inachis_io Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:44 am

    How dreadfully anti-social. I do hope that it’s satire; the alternative being very nearly too much to stomach. (And my, my, doesn’t the book of Leviticus take all the fun out of life?)

  10. Judith Says:
    August 22nd, 2008 at 4:00 am

    I am sickened by the depraved intelligence that put this ‘site’ together. Yes, for all of those who caught on, it is a ‘joke’ in the sense that it is not genuine. Even the most rabid fundamentalist / ‘Christian extremist’ wouldn’t dare ‘condemn’ thalomide babies, to take just one over-the-top example.

    Thankfully, most of the prior commentators seem to have understood that this was parody/satire (albeit vicious, for the all-too-familiar rhetoric, textual clubs, and Biblical quotes used to simulate a right-wing Christian tone). People who actually follow Christ remember that He held out hands of acceptance and love to the subcultures of His time – and do the same.

    What distresses me most, I think, is the possibility that the next person to stumble on this WILL take it seriously and either swallow it wholesale (“Oh, thank heaven that there are other people who think the way I do! Look, thou sluttish daughter of mine, it’s on the Web AND it quotes the Bible so it must be true! Come here and let me sandpaper off that dolphin tattoo…”) or allow it to reinforce their prejudices about Christianity (“I knew they were all narrow-minded inbred bigots seething with brimstone-flavoured hate, and this just confirms my determination never to buy a house next to one of them…”).

    Talk about having one’s poisoned cake and eating it too; either way you look at it, it’s hate literature.

  11. Miss Says:
    January 24th, 2009 at 4:40 am

    Yea, and I was also only 15 years old when that account was still in existance, or still in use at least. So me being photographed publicly is some what…illigal???
    Though I do find it funny. It took me so long to find out I was in this, that I inspired someone SO much they were compelled to write about me!!! Yea. I was young and quite simple minded, but what more would you expect for a 15 year old girl. Obviously even back then I was quite the interesting person. Kinda miss those days. Well if you want to exploit me publicly now I’ve finally hit 18 and I’ve got some quite “ground breaking” views!!!
    HAHA

  12. Morgan Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    The comments on this are astounding.
    This website is purely satire, folks.