A Fruity Bonne Bell-Flavored Mega Queef from 1984
California-born dancer/singer Heather Parisi isn’t a household name in the US, but some of our Mediterranean readers might recognize her. Back in the late 70s, an Italian producer discovered the flexible 19-year-old sunning on a beach in Rimini. Parisi was set up with the best thrustiest jazz choreographer liras could buy, pimped out in one seriously bedazzlicious wardrobe, and became an Italian TV pop sensation overnight.
There are so many transcendentally Stupid/Awesome aspects to this video for her song “Crilù”, it’s hard to know where to start. Just… enjoy.
Gyrations atop a giant Rubik’s cube? Check. Uber groiny, hardbodied ballet dancers in metallic bowler shoes? Check. Intimated BJ three-way with male Moschino models? Check. Glittering Mickey Mouse butt cleavage? OKAY NOW THAT’S JUST GOING TOO FAR.
Clip via DJ Dead Billy, thanks. More Parisi videos after the jump. Additionally, if you appreciate this level of Stupid/Awesome 80s kitsch, you may also like:
- Murder Rock (Italian horror director Lucio Fulci’s answer to Flashdance)
- Michele Soavi’s Stage Fright
- Scream queen Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout
- Futuristic spiritual disco/rock opera cult classic, The Apple
- The “Rock Me Tonight” video (arguably Billy Squier’s finest moment)
- Last but not least, Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart“
May 29th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Bahaha!
At 2:05 in that first vid she says “sticky situation” — I’m pretty sure that’s the only English in the whole song. AMAZING.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
ahh! frankie goes to hollywood! I just watched the banned music video. that was the first song i danced to in a competition when i was in 6th grade.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Oh the costume choices of my people…seriously what are those tube-like things around they guys necks in the first one!?
and her expressions are just great.
“…baby baby disco baby” lol!
May 30th, 2009 at 2:58 am
Best part of this is that italian are still madly in love with Heather, and i know since i’m italian myself ^^
There’s absolutely noone here that won’t start that strange rubbing move when the song “cicale” starts, and here it’s not strange to hear it again sometimes ^^
Just so you know it, half of what she says has no meaning in italian.. or in any other language ^^
May 30th, 2009 at 4:32 am
Man, everybody in that first video dresses like Kidd Video. It’s as if someone took an Italian kid in 1984, showed her MTV nonstop for about a week, handed her a box of crayons and then was told, “Okay, choreograph me a video.”
May 30th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
BEST. EVER. Mer, you are a demented genius. Thank you.
May 30th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I feel that the music video for “Total Eclipse of the Heart” should eventually be featured on Coilhouse, if not on this list, then on some other.
May 30th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Felice lo gradite, all! (Or something to that effect… my Italian sucks.)
Rienne, you’re so right! Actually, our dearly beloved guest blogger David Forbes covered that very video not too long ago. I’ve added the link, thanks.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Since the ’80’s was fundamentally the first era to consciously sift back through the past five previous decades for Identity, it’s a bit of a struggle to force an ’80’s revival of any sort. It hurts, sometimes….
May 30th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
Hey, I hear scrunchies are coming back in style. *cowers in the corner and sobs*
June 1st, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Some horrors cannot be unseen. This is one of them.
@Mer…noticed that too. Damn you American Apparel for resurrecting that ungodly demon! They make damn fine socks though.
June 1st, 2009 at 6:40 pm
[…] From Coilhouse […]
June 12th, 2009 at 6:01 am
I believe the men are wearing big, fat, floppy pencils around their necks. Look closely and you will see them jiggle about (so wrong…). Yes, some things can not be unseen.
I am not brave enough to endure the other clips!