The bald, glistening pate of Telly Savalas has always stirred unutterable longings deep within me. I’m having trouble deciding which video for his cover of “If” I love more. This first version, where Kojak’s officially the shy one at some orgy…
Woo! Sphincter Cam! (via Fark)
or this one, in which he serenades an enormous, nonplussed, vaseline-smeared head:
All I know for sure is, I really want a cigarette right now.
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:11 am
He was too beautiful for this world…
“Come and pour yourself by me…” is officially my new pick up line. Watch out ladies!
Now all I need is that outfit…and a giant deer in the headlights vaseline blurred head to follow me.
Really the only thing better would have been a Telly Savalas vs. Yul Brynner “Stomp The Yard/Bring It On/You Got Served” duel…man the amount of panties that’d drop at that face off would impress even Tom Jones.
February 22nd, 2008 at 8:08 am
#2 for me, definitely.
There is something in watching him mouth the words that makes it extra-compelling. Or maybe it’s the way he moves in those beige trousers? Or the smoking - doesn’t it make you want to yell “Take a drag or your cigarette will go out!”
Oh Telly.
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:29 am
Mer, I now have a brutal dose of The Fear.
It kicked in at 1:35, when both sides of Telly’s face started looking directly at me, but as if they each thought I was sitting in a different area of the room.
Mind you, the damage had largely been done by around 0:40, when I realised that the Floaty Mask Of Romantic Torment® looks upsettingly like a pork waterbed.
Mummy, do I have to fall in love? *whimper*
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:53 am
Zo, I had the very same thought about the cigarette. I wanted to hope that he’d exhale smoke at the end of the second video, but nay - it had been rendered an inanimate prop by the length of his meanderings.
I just want to know how this stuff gets made. Like once, someone had the budget to promote this stuff, and thought: “Hmm… feed the poor… or MAKE A STAR??”
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
“this one, in which he serenades an enormous, nonplussed, vaseline-smeared head:”
So THIS is what Matthew Barney and Bjork were building on that whaling ship!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mbX8y5r4_U&feature=related