Dutch Candy Horrors
Update: So Nanna in the comments points out that Bon-Bon is not, indeed, Dutch but Danish which means that I’m an idiot and everything in this article is wrong. Everything except the part about Dutch toilets.
Above, dear reader, you will find a collection of five commercials, circa 1990, for candies produced by Dutch confectioners, Bonbon. These sugary delights have names like Ape Snoten and Smul-Tietjen which crude internet translation informs me is, roughly, Boob Feast in English. That particular treat features a nightmarish and considerable buxom, anthropomorphic cow milking another, non-anthropomorphized cow after which her heaving breasts explode from her shirt making for what must be a record holder for most fetishes in a television commercial. This is only one in a series of ads featuring a plethora of bodily fluids and functions. Please do not let these commercials affect your opinions of the Dutch, however. Yes this seems odd, but no doubt there are more than a few aspects of our culture that would confound the citizens of the Netherlands. No, we should instead save our condescending judgment for their bizarre and unholy toilets, equipped with “inspection shelf”.
November 23rd, 2010 at 3:47 pm
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November 23rd, 2010 at 11:34 pm
Heya
Sorry for correcting you, but BonBon is a Danish brand, founded in the beginning of the 80’ies.
I’m not quite sure how you ended up with a Dutch version of the commercial, but it was definitely made in Denmark – we even have a theme park based on the BonBon-brand *grins* (and yes, it’s as daft as it sounds)
http://www.bonbonland.dk/
– We found the candy very amusing when I was a child though.
Sincerely
/Nanna
Copenhagen
DK
November 24th, 2010 at 3:21 pm
I remember these! No need to apologize, these might have been originally Danish (I didn’t know that), but they still ran on Dutch TV and were marketed to children. I think a better translation of Smultietjes would be Yummy Titties.
Things have changed a lot here, I don’t think these commercials could be shown nowadays.
November 25th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
Hahah, no need for apologies, just thought it was funny =)
The tittie candy was btw called something like “Big Boobies” in Danish.