In Observation of World Goth Day:

Happy horrorday, batlings! Shake ya cobwebs.

(Or if you’re feeling more subdued, you can always just peruse the rather vast archive of Coilhouse posts tagged “Goth“.)


“I’m So Goth I Shit Bats” needlepoint by Defiant Damsel, available on Etsy.

Opossum Massage by ME Pearl

DOIN IT RONG:

DOIN IT RITE:


Via Tristan.

“Pentagram Sam” by Da Grimston & Mist-E

Guys, I’m gonna be real with you.

I may have just peed a little in my witchy-pooh panties.

And that’s all I have say about this:

The sprawling, quicksilver lyrics to this bilaterally symmetrical magnum LULZ opus have been posted below, because they’re… well, just read ‘em. And weep bitter crimson diamonds. Ov Darqueness.

[via DJ Dead Billy / Dangerous Minds]

They see Gandalf trollin’, they hatin’.

Thank you, kid-named-Jav-dressed-like-Gandalf-and-doin’-the-mongo-longboard-thing-for-the-sake-of-a-very-silly-joke. Thank you.

A Brief Introduction on Dubstep Production: The Animated Video

Snarkily hilarious (abbreviated) animated version of Dubba Jonny‘s infamous dubstep tutorial piss-take. By TreeHouseCharles.

(WEEB WOB WOB WUGGUDUDDUH WARG WOOB WOB)

BTC: Good Morning. Do You Need More Batbran In YOUR Diet?

Here’s one way to find out:


(Via Jesse Kaminsky.)

If, upon surveyance of the above clip, compulsive butt wiggling occurs, you are probably Bat-deficient.

Here’s another test to help determine whether or not you are Batmanemic:

Did you lick the screen? If yes, consult your general practitioner immediately.

This has been a public cervix announcement.

Rick Santorum Releases Dystopian Horror Film

Man, do 2012′s Republican presidential hopefuls ever have a penchant for apocalyptic fiction! While Rick Perry fantasizes about Obama’s war on religion, (“the openly gay military hereby sentences you to re-education at Camp Kwanzaa!”) and Newt Gingrich speaks of colonizing the moon and pens alternate-history fiction in which Nazi Germany thrives (see also: “terrible sex scenes written by politicians”), Rick Santorum has just upped the ante.

This week, the Santorum camp released a chilling (read: hilarious) trailer for an eight-part series titled Obamaville. Rife with a combination of Silent Hill-like visuals, random stock imagery (meat grinders and babies!), and Obama/Ahmadinejad speech footage mashups, the 1-minute video closes with an ominous shot of the open road, with promises of more “coming soon.” YES PLEASE. It’s the perfect film to pair up with newly-released Iron Sky.

Matt Novak of Paleofuture has helpfully screen-captured and captioned the most striking images from the video. At time of writing, the video has 852 likes and 11,011 dislikes on YouTube. ”Santorumville” porn parody coming in 3… 2…

[via Matt Novak via William Gibson]

How to Dance Goth: A Hubba Educational Film

Last night at the DNA Lounge in San Francisco, the wonderful Hubba Hubba Revue unveiled (hurr!) Jim Sweeney, Lara Miranda and friends’ How to Dance Goth– the first volume in HH’s Educational Film Dance Instruction series:


Via TouchTheSun.

Many of you are, no doubt, already familiar with these darque dance styles… or various iterations/amalgams thereof. (For instance, those “Cobweb”/”Cappuccino” moves are quite similar to an ancient SoCal spookypants maneuver known as “Pick a Penny Up, Put it Over There”. And “Step Over Your Dead Friend” is a kissin’ cousin to the time-honored “I Have Shit Myself and I’m In Distress” dance often seen in Atlanta, GA goth clubs shortly after a new shipment of ketamine has arrived in town.)

Well done, Hubba Hubba batlings! We await your cyber-industrial tutorial with bated breath.

Red Moon

Directed by Jimmy Marble and written by Marble and Doug Sacrison (who also wrote the original one-act play), Red Moon chronicles the sad, tortured life of famed submarine captain Alexei Ovechkin: hero of the former Soviet Union, and werewolf.

What follows is 15 minutes of amazing, cardboard and plywood sets, fantastic facial hair, werewolf suits, and terrible, terrible Russian accents. I loved every single second of it.

Bonus BTC: Every Single Deadwood “Cocksucker” Ever Uttered

Shown in order of appearance, here are nearly eight full minutes of ”Cocksucker”s (with a righteous  ”Fuck you, sir!” cherry on top). Three Deadwood seasons’ worth.

Mesmerizing, isn’t it?

(SFW, provided you’re on headphones. Via Dusty.)