I think I might be straight!

This common-sense guide to the heterosexual lifestyle may help you come to grips with the strange, shop repressed feelings that have been haunting you since puberty. Reading it opened my eyes and made me love myself for who I am. Someone gave me this flyer a few years ago on campus, purchase and, viagra as a public service, I now pass it on to all of you. May it help to guide you in your internal struggle.

14 Responses to “I think I might be straight!”

  1. Iconoclastic Says:

    Whoever came up with this is very smart. Very, very well done.

  2. k paul blume Says:

    Love it Love it Love IT!

  3. Lauren Says:

    Are you sure Anna Nicole was straight? And Marilyn? I’ve heard rumors…

  4. tymcode Says:

    A fine example of my kind of culture jamming.

  5. Shay Says:

    Ahahaha, this is awesome.

  6. Zoetica Says:


    It’s art. Love it.

  7. DJ Velveteen Says:

    You’d think they coulda come up with better heterosexual role models. I mean, come on – Mariah Carey, J.Lo, and Dr. Laura? I mean, if I don’t get Oscar Wilde, I want someone at least of his calibre.

  8. D Says:

    I get this feeling at most parties, I may need better venues to meet straight women.

  9. Io Says:

    Yeah, Anna Nicole had quite a few female lovers, and Marilyn did indeed have a lesbian affair — though she later admitted it wasn’t really her thing.

    But God knows, those poor straight people…they’re not supported by society at all! It’s kind of like campaigning for Caucasian rights and lower taxes for the wealthy.

  10. Io Says:

    That said, the flyer’s creator was clearly well-aware of that and though the belly-ache over perceived threats to heterosexuality were insane. Still, I would not be shocked if the evangelical movement DID distribute things like this.

  11. Io Says:

    thought* was* oh man…didn’t get much sleep last night.

  12. lucylle Says:

    Hehehe… very funny and tongue in cheek! Though I wish they chose more valuable heterosexual heroes…. what about Albert Einstein?

    The miss Spelling in me can’t help to notice they spelt BROCHURE wrong on the last page ;-)

  13. Violaine Says:

    I think the fact that they chose kinda-dorky hetero icons is part of the humor. :)

    I love the dazed look on the girl’s face on the cover of the flyer, and the dude sleeping beside her – I imagine him snoring loudly, unaware of her inner turmoil.

  14. Hetero Genius | DSO Records: Trivia & Music Says:

    […] Here’s how to cope with the potentially crushing realization that despite your upbringing and indoctrinations, you may actually be a closet heterosexual. […]