Top 10 Most Preternaturally Beautiful Men

READERSHIP ADVISORY: The following post contains very subjective opinion, frivolity, and the shameless sexual objectification of highly respectable people. In other words, we are about to go totally alt-Cosmo on your ass. You have been warned.

There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion. – Sir Francis Bacon

Preternatural means out of the ordinary course of nature; exceptional or abnormal. That which appears outside or beyond the natural. Extremity – an ordinary phenomenon taken beyond the natural.

10 Klaus Kinski

Bug-eyed, white-haired, rubbery-lipped Klaus Kinski was by all accounts (especially his own) an insatiable fuck machine. Open his infamously filthy memoirs to any random page and gasp at the depravity. He also happened to be gibbering batshit insane. It has been observed that sociopaths are often very charismatic. Certainly, when Kinski wasn’t foaming at the mouth, he could charm the knickers off any lady in the room. Fans of exploitation cinema adore him as the punishing playboy in Jess Franco’s masterpiece, Venus In Furs. His tumultuous partnership with filmmaker Werner Herzog yielded two of the most compelling antiheroes of all time: Aguirre and Nosferatu. Indeed, even in the most paltry cameo roles, Kinski oozed a certain fetid yet undeniable charm.

9 Miles Davis

This is the face of a sorcerer or a fallen angel. Miles Davis was of course, first and foremost, one of most influential iconoclasts of 20th century music, a ferocious talent who “didn’t take no shit off nobody” and always played his chosen tormented Dark Magus role to the hilt. That baleful stare and gorgeous bone structure lent Davis a painfully beautiful, otherworldly quality that only deepened with age. From Kind of Blue LP liner photos to Anton Corbijn’s famous portraits taken decades later, the eyes have it.

8 Adrien Brody

It isn’t often that we come across a look so naturally stylized. Adrien Brody’s elongated gaunt features look as if they’ve been rendered by the hand of Modigliani. Despite a multitude of serious on-screen roles and a spectrum of strong performances, he’s often pictured in photo spreads as as a saccharine 90210-worthy sleaze, which may or may not be a fair representation. No matter! We prefer to think of Adrien Brody as a deep-eyed, crane-necked mammal with a nose that’s capable of launching a thousand panties into space. He’s a unique combination of exaggerated equine attributes which must not be ignored, no.

7 Tim Curry

Sweet transvestite era Tim Curry is the beastly, handsome cad we all love to love. Mer chiming in here individually to say that she too had a code growing up that helped her suss out her soul sistahs in a quick and painless manner, having discerned that there is a certain ultra specific type of girl (or girly boy) who, having viewed Legend at that special, vulnerable time in their development, cites Darkness as the first giant-sized-man-thing who made them feel kinda funny…where their bathing suit covers. Zo, being a filthy Russki, didn’t have the fortune of watching this film until her twenties. It made her feel very funny and still rather does.

6 Crispin Glover

It could be said that Crispin Glover has taken great care to create his villainous persona. It certainly doesn’t take too much of an imagination’s stretch to perceive him as such. Between his theatric readings from Dada-ish collage books he created and his emotionally scarring directorial debut, he’s earned his notoriety fair and square. Glover’s deep-set perplexed eyes and meandering nose are often accentuated with a vintage-inspired hairstyle, voice creeping from thin lips above a jaw that expertly juts out of suits reminiscent of his movie roles. These vicious features, bizarre creative repertoire and outlandish public behavior have polished Crispin Glover into a quintessential madman we can’t help but, reluctantly, love.

5 Christopher Walken

Christopher Walken was a fey, stunning beauty in his youth. Who knew?! Nowadays, he’s less androgynous Puck and more a reptilian, glittering-eyed old uncle who should probably not be left unsupervised with small children, but we here at Coilhouse proudly proclaim, creepy is the new sexy. And who’s not a sucker for a funny, sharp-dressed man who can dance? Could there possibly be some among us, perhaps with a fever for cow bell, who might not protest if Uncle Chris were to touch them inappropriately?

4 Willem Dafoe

Willem Dafoe is freakishly hot. It’s the allure of his sinuous voice as much as those high cheekbones, craggy brow, and wide, upturned mouth. Whether he’s being figuratively martyred in ‘Nam or literally on the cross as he daydreams of bedding Mary Magdalene, insinuating bi-curious traits to John Lurie while ice fishing, or (at the risk of repeating ourselves) channeling a naked mole rat for his toothsome take on Nosferatu, we just can’t bring ourselves to look away.

3 Nick Cave

Top image © Blast Products™. Taken at Glasgow’s Nightmoves on the Birthday Party’s farewell tour c.1982.

NIIIICK THE STRIIIIIIIIIPPER.” This man could set a stage ablaze. Nick Cave’s feral eyes, unkempt hair and hyena screams make him the epitome of rabid charm. To this day, the spindly white boy from Australia channels James Brown with his moves like nobody’s business, howling with the conviction of a deranged sin hound. Despite bearing a slight resemblance to Neil Diamond recently, there’s absolutely no reason for Cave to be singing the “No Pussy Blues.” Sorry, mate. We just don’t buy it.

2 Jonathan Rhys Meyers

The cheeks, the lips, the unnaturally blue eyes – Jonathan Rhys Meyers was almost too pretty to make the list. But there is something strange in the combination of pronounced features on his narrow face, something cold and removed in his expression, something that makes him, without question, an otherworldly reptile. His role on Gormenghast as the self-serving cruel Steerpike, earned Jonathan’s character this fitting description: “His body gave the appearance of being malformed but it would be difficult to say exactly what gave it this gibbous quality. Limb by limb, it appeared that he was sound enough, but the sum of these several members accrued to an unexpectedly twisted total. ”

1 David Bowie

He almost couldn’t have #1 because it’s just too easy, but we had no choice. David Bowie simply is inhuman. And inhumanly hot. Over several decades of stardom, he’s ripened into complete perfection. Between his masterfully crafted alien image, the beak, the mismatched eyes, the feline smile he is The Ultimate Preternatural Hotness.

Honorable Mention: Jeff Goldblum (who would have made the list were we not still rinsing our eyes out with bleach after stumbling across this unfortunate image). Buster Keaton, Yamataka Eye, and Klaus Nomi (who will all no doubt receive more in depth and reverential treatment at some later date). Aforementioned Perry Farrell and Kit Stølen (fear of nepotism).

147 Responses to “Top 10 Most Preternaturally Beautiful Men”

  1. John Chamberlain Says:

    also marc bolan methinks:-)

  2. B Nilsson Says:

    Blixa Bargeld.

  3. wiicita Says:

    Yeah, Blixa should be there :D But that list is quite good anyway.

  4. Jimsin Says:

    I’m afraid the list is definitely incomplete without Peter Murphy.

  5. gggggg Says:

    lol people are still commenting about blixa. but he is legitimately beautiful, not ~preternatural~ which has apparently become synonymous with “reptilian”.

    this list should be called “top ten fugly weirdos who have somehow gained a reputation for being ‘unconventionally attractive'”.

  6. Eileen Says:

    Rowland S. Howard (from The Birthday Party) should be included here! Everyone should watch this: (it’s of his lovely band These Immortal Souls). Enjoy!

  7. Eileen Says:

    And, I also urge everyone to look at this picture of Rowland S. Howard with Lydia lunch: !! I don’t know what it is about this man!!

    Also should we also include David Tennant to this list??. Not only does he look alienesque, but he is from Gallifrey afterall!

    Also what about Patrick Malahide (from The Singing Detective) or Mackenzie Crook (from The Office)??

  8. T.S. Says:

    Hell yes, I so totally agree with this list from top to bottom!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Asher Says:

    Nice list. Rutger Hauer, Malcolm Macdowell, Peter Murphy and possibly Davey Havok would’ve made mine.

    I have a preternaturally beautiful man of my very own right now. He is tall, wiry and skinny, and has cartoonishly defined cheekbones, an exaggeratedly triangular chin and jaw, icey blue eyes, one sometimes droopy eyelid, a very Swedish snub nose, and a sweet feminine mouth prone to an archaic smile. He shaves his head, and part of the stubble on it is prematurely white (he is 25). He is ageless, genderless, slightly alien, and gorgeous. And did I mention he has the world’s cutest ass. Definitely bizarre, unconventional hotness.

  10. Evv Says:

    All is nice and preternatureal, but where is Alan Rickman?!

  11. Evv Says:

    Or Charles Baudelaire, for that matter?

  12. Teri's Digs - the cat piano Says:

    […] by the one, the only, the lovely, Nick […]

  13. kate Says:

    all of those men frighten me. creepy is DEFINITELY the new hot.

  14. Dave C Says:

    The young Peter Murphy, anyone?

  15. Disposable Darling » Blog Archive » The Badlands Says:

    […] out Coilhouse’s post on the Top 10 Most Preternaturally Beautiful Men. I agree with some of these. I still can’t see Tim Curry as very seductive, hehe, maybe in […]

  16. Rabbit Says:

    Mmmm… Miles Davis.

    Oh yeah.

    (I might have included Edward James Olmos though… particularly in Zoot Suit. El Pachuco is all that has ever been hot and feral.)

  17. Stephanie Says:

    beautiful collection.

  18. hans Says:

    This is the first time I’ve ever seen acknowledgment and /or discussion of a peculiar phenomenon I’ve seen all my adult life : men who by many accounts could ALMOST be regarded as ‘good looking’ or ‘handsome’ but oddly and paradoxically seemed somehow misshapen, slightly monstrous or creepy, with one or more exaggerated features, such as a protruding brow, eyebrows forehead or huge lips or ears. Typically one features is out of proportion and so the symmetry is askew. They’re ALMOST really good looking, but…. at the same time, sort of, well…… malformed and scary, too

  19. Polina Says:

    damn , you guys just seem to get it pretty damn spot on! Christopher Walken , Adrien Brody and Nick Cave , thats taste

  20. sunny bernard Says:

    I can’t believe it! I’ve had a crush on Christopher Walken since I was 15 years old! He’s strangely weird looking which adds to his allure. Hmmm..ummm Hmmm! At least I’m not the only one who thinks he’s a WOWie!

  21. Hestia Says:

    Just in case you didn’t know, our beloved Nick Cave has a son who is a high fashion model:

  22. Jill Says:

    this makes me sooo freaking happy.

  23. Ian Ridley Says:

    Ooooh, yes. This list is lovely. Sad not see the inimitable Jeffrey Combs mentioned, though.

  24. Jack Says:

    Oh my god Willem Dafoe. I am head over heels in love with his calves.

  25. Tracy Says:

    What, NO Rutger Hauer, am I the only one on this train. Malcolm McDowell?

  26. mylène Says:

    I absolutely agree from 10 to 1… Thank you!!!!

  27. The One Where I Like The Ugly Ones « Alack! Cerebrophiliac! Says:

    […] primarily to women. If you’re looking for more examples of sexy-ugly, try Coilhouse’s Top Ten Most Preternaturally Beautiful Men and Verve’s Twenty Sexiest Ugly People. Once you’ve finished that, you’re […]

  28. nephilim Says:

    UGH. GOD I LOVE THIS POST. SO SO SOOO MUCH. Everyone tells me I’m attracted to rather odd looking men. Ordinary simply won’t cut it for me. David Bowie is THE SEX. Even now that he’s older…i reckon he’s actually sexier than ever. And Adrian Brody. OMG. I just don’t have enough words to describe what I feel. I just adore gaunt, lanky men. That’s how my boyfriend won me over XD I also find the older Clint Eastwood highly attractive, as well as the Kevin Bacon of now.

  29. RiverVox Says:

    I second the motion for Rutger Hauer. Also I would remove Glover and add Joaquin Phoenix. He has that almost ugly beauty with some kind of cruelty lurking.

    I’m wondering if there are similarities between these faces that we pick up on. Large eyes? “Feminine” lips? Is it the symmetry or lack thereof? And do they photograph/film better? If you saw them on the bus, what would you think?

  30. Meredith Yayanos Says:

    Heh, I love that many, MANY moons later, this post still occasionally gets sent around and giggled over. :) And I love hearing other people’s alternates! Personally, I don’t find Hauer “fugly” enough, not even close! And Phoenix just doesn’t send me one bit. It’s all so, sooo very subjective.

    There are def many similarities between several the faces above. Big glassy eyes, jutting bone structure, rubbery lips, a lizard-ish/simian quality to many of them. If we were to do a second round (doubtful), I think we’d definitely pick some folks with more varied attributes to widen the scope a bit. Some of mine, off the top of my head: Ron Perlman, Donald Sutherland, Snoop Dogg, James Coburn and Lee Van Cleef AND (of course) Clint Eastwood, John Hawkes, William Finley, Danny Trejo, Alan Rickman… mmm. So many oddly beautiful blokes to choose from.

  31. 30 Day Film Challenge – Day 9 « Peppered Thought – The Spice of Life Says:

    […] Brody is one of those preternaturally beautiful men that I just get drawn to for some reason. I loved the way he played his character in […]

  32. VPrime Says:

    I fully agree with #s1-3. Rutger Hauer would make my list absolutely. Same for Rufus Sewell for his huge, cold eyes. It’s all about the devouring gaze!

  33. livvie Says:

    udo goddamned kier!

  34. Dee Says:

    You forgot JOAQUIN PHOENIX!!!!!

  35. Kristian Says:

    Glad to see you got the order correct. Which is basically David Bowie, and then everybody else in some order after him ;)

  36. YA RLY! Says:

    I think the majority of this list is en pointe. Am I the only one that has a lifelong “thing” for John Hurt though?

    I am?

    Alrighty then…

  37. Nyx Says:

    LOVE this list.. and agree that there could be no better No.1 than Bowie.. but I too miss Udo Kier. He is oddly cold and the blue eyes are alarming.. but he is, perhaps, too classically handsome for the list? Darkness.. oh dear.. yes, I was at the “right age” to plunder the deliriously rich fantasy life conjured by both Legend and Labyrinth. Just yum yum yum.

  38. Nyx Says:

    Not sure this will post – a classic young Udo:,r:23,s:0,i:213&tx=95&ty=119&vpx=1048&vpy=302&hovh=168&hovw=240

  39. Kelly Says:

    Possible update: Benedict Cumberbatch. He’s got one of those faces that if you stare at it, you start focusing on all the weirdness – alien eyes, too-wide cupid bow mouth, odd grin, freckly forehead. But, in motion and in certain poses, he’s otherworldly and beautiful.

    Great list, btw. This is clearly my type. Odd-looking!

  40. Rekoj Eht Says:

    great list. only one i don’t agree with is nick cave. cute(ish) but not preternaturally hot, IM(not-so)HO.

    and i have to agree with kelly, benedict cumberpatch would be a great addition to the list. he looks like a hybrid of a human, a cat and one of those little grey aliens!

  41. ClaireObscure Says:

    What about Gabriel Byrne?!?

  42. Meredith Yayanos Says:

    Ooo! Nice one. :)

  43. TheItsyBitsy Says:

    Clancy Brown.

    The voice, the hulking, the chin thrust… ever since Carnivàle I just can’t unsee it.

    Admittedly my first identifiably sexual feelings were toward Liam Neeson in Darkman so I *may* have a bit of a giant craggy Irish looking dude *thing* going on.

  44. N Says:

    Davey Havok and Viggo Mortensen. They cannot be missed in this.

  45. louise Says:

    I respectfully submit JOEY RAMONE to this list. Thank you.

  46. Arianne Says:

    Javier Bardem, Mads Mikkelsen, Benedict Cumberbatch, & Jamie Campbell Bower.

  47. Arianne Says:

    I forgot Lance Reddick. Who else could make Papa Legba in American Horror Story so revolting and utterly effable at the same time?