Russian Women – The Real Truth!

Are you sick of being victimized by the overly confident and spoiled women of America?

Are you intrigued by the exotic yet vulnerable women of Eastern Europe?

Do you want to feel like a Big Powerful Savior Daddy-Man?

If you answered “yes” to one of more of the above you are part of a growing demographic. A demographic that’s ever-expanding, cheerfully bubbling to the surface of the internet like a pot of boiling baby feces. Yes, legions of xenophiles are uniting in one common goal – to meet and wed a Russian Woman – the perfect blend of dignity and modesty wrapped up nicely in a blanket of historical misfortune. And they’re doing it on Russian Women: The Real Truth.

Here you are led by the brave American-born blog admin through the finer points of kindling Russian romance on the Web. He unveils the complex secrets of the Russian woman’s psyche, the way brute Russian men treat the ladies as a commodity and insightful tips on avoiding the scams of “mail order bride services”. How does he know so much about Russia, you might be wondering to yourselves. Well, that’s because he lives there now! Yes, living in Russia has granted him unique access to Russian intricacies the rest of you non-Russians aren’t privy to. Just look at the way he describes his inspiration behind the blog:

“Russian women are like heroic characters because they are always dealing with dirty situations and environments but somehow they still manage to stay beautiful and out of trouble. I am like most Americans in that I love a good underdog story where the hero faces incredible odds but still comes out as the champion. This is a labor of love because it is an opportunity to bring the true story of these women into the light.This is especially important since their own modesty would never allow them to do it themselves…Russian women are looking for manly leaders who have a clear direction and purpose in life and from a historical and survival perspective this makes a great deal of sense”.

Damn, he really gets us! But wait, what’s this? Did he mention women’s stories? Indeed, in addition to a plethora of advice articles you’ll find photos and videos of real live Russian women, most informative to an enthusiast like yourself. Watch, as Masha enlightens the ignorant about what she looks for in a man and read the comments, too. It seems she desires a smart and funny guy who doesn’t drink and won’t have another girlfriend while married to her. Elaborate and extraordinary is the Russian heart and we’ve this blog to thank for showing us a glimpse of these inner workings.

For those intrigued and serious about Russian wife acquisition yet weary of shady dating and mail-order services there’s hope yet! It turns out our ever-considerate friend at Russian Women offers a service of his own:

Basic Option
Consult with you on a limited or extended basis via internet chat. And give you the best advice tailored for you to best prepare for this adventure. (you are on our radar and we are guiding you in)

Intermediate Option
Basic option + Consult with and verify the lady or ladies that you are interested in via phone and then give you my personal evaluation on her. (you and her are both on our radar and we are guiding both of you in)

Advanced Option
Intermediate Option + Physically verify lady or ladies along with establishing a friendly rapport that we can use to boost your stature and chances with her. (she’s already landed and get’s to be a special guest in the control tower and drink coffee with me while we both get to laugh and make jokes watching you on the radar. just kidding.. but you get the point..)

There is one more Super Duper Advanced Option but I’m not going to get into that now since this will be on an extremely limited basis and only for the type of guys who want to clear out the the whole runway and arrival terminal before they land.

Now to varying degrees all agencies promote the fact that they will do any of the above for you. However here’s the catch.. They are almost all run by Russian Women. As hard working and honest as they may (or may not be) they are still.. well.. Russian Women. No matter what their intentions are most of them have precious little experience in the US or other Western Countries. Most of them really don’t understand you guys like… well another guy.. who has truly been there and done that in this wild country (and has the battle scars to prove it). But the bottom line is this… Who’s looking out for your back? And if you really need me to drive this point home.. Have you ever used a lady to look out for your back in an unknown situation? Would you want to? (I know.. I know.. it depends on how hot she is..;)) Sorry I’m digressing so let me get back on track.”

And there you have it. So you if you’re lonely, gullible and want to give your money to a misogynistic pompous Russia-fetishist who loves objectifying women while thinly veiling it as admiration, we’ve got a guy for you! Yes we do.

47 Responses to “Russian Women – The Real Truth!”

  1. Eev Says:

    Ugh. That is all.

  2. Mark Says:

    Oh my shitty christ, it’s an absolute disgrace. Just nauseating.

    My girlfriend’s Russian, as it happens, and you wouldn’t believe (well, ok, you would believe) the number of side-splitting ‘internet bride’ jibes I had to grin through when we first got together, even from friends. (Icing on the cake, she also lived in Poland for the last 15 years or so before moving here, and so we get all the added ‘Polish immigrant paranoia’ hilarity to chuckle along with too. Really, we’re spoiled!)

    It’s such an immense daily privilege, getting to eavesdrop on the intellectual heavyweight legions yabbering loudly at bus stops and ATMs, barking out their vein-popping, spittle-flecked ‘opinions’ which inevitably sound alarmingly similar to the guy’s wild, dribbling conjecture on the site mentioned above. It’s like living in a tabloid-misquoting version of the Two Minutes’ Hate from 1984, only far more casually scheduled.

    Nice one Western Europe, and nice one America: we’ve both manfully stepped back and taken a long, hard, brilliantly analytical and well-informed look at the world – the real world, obviously – with the kind of 20/20 clarity that only humans of our noble stock could ever truly achieve. Now quick, let’s tell the fucking internets before it’s too late!

    Ohhhh for a snooker ball, a gym sock and 15 minutes in a windowless room with this plucky expat and his ilk!

    *looks up*….um, wow. Sorry, rant-tastic! Not quite sure where I went there for a second…*splashes face*… ;)

  3. Lem Says:

    Gracious. I was going to put all my money on underwater helicopters but this seems like a much better return on my investment! I really need to make up for the fact I haven’t burnt down enough orphanages or sold enough members of my family into slavery this year.

    Reading the Russian Women blog feels like slowly chewing on broken glass. Crisp, clear with the occasional sudden stabbing pain.

    A snooker ball? Surely that is more refinement than strictly necessary?

  4. Tanya Says:

    That top photo is EXACTLY how I dress, like, ALWAYS.

    I don’t even know what to say, except as a Russian woman, i would never in a million years consider this douchebag. ever.

  5. David Forbes Says:

    Wow. In the worst possible way.

    If those cringing, pathetic misogynistic little cowards are so droolingly keen to meet Russian women, I know just the ones for ’em.

    Modest/vulnerable that.

  6. Mark Says:

    Lem – sorry, what could I have been thinking? Scrap snooker ball, replace with his own ankle bones… ;P

  7. Alice Says:

    I…I can barely wrap my mind around that site…

    Wow, David Forbes, that picture…now that’s MY kinda lady…!

  8. noire Says:

    i’m torn between laughing and throwing up in my mouth a little.

  9. celestyna Says:

    Sounds like the Russian version of the equally exploitiveCowboy Del Amor.

    Pimpin’ ain’t easy!

  10. Zoetica Says:

    Yes, David – great picture find! But you know this douche already fetishizes that look , as well. Check out this gem.

  11. David Forbes Says:

    Zoe: Double urgh. I should have guessed.

    Nonetheless, nothing rebuts “wilting flowers who need men to run their lives” quite like 54 confirmed kills.

  12. Mer Says:


  13. Jerem Morrow Says:

    Fucking. Hell.

  14. Nadya Says:

    The Real Truth?
    …as opposed to the Fake Truth?

    Very nice.

  15. Camilla Says:

    Not suprisingly, he’s also crusading against the VAWA (Violence Against Women Act).

  16. Tess Says:

    Further proof that truth is stranger fiction.

  17. cappy Says:

    God, what makes it worse is the tone of the comments — these people think they’re _helping_ these women, nothing else — they’re totally not just exploiting poor people who are willing to marry whatever fat, ugly, old American who comes to their country with a fat wallet and a full bottle of Viagra.

    And I seriously don’t get the pervasive and constant references to God and the Bible in the comments, though it doesn’t surprise me in the least bit for some reason.

  18. Mark Says:

    May I just give a tiny shout to love/lust between people who actually meet one another, even if it’s just a fleeting glance? I dunno, it just makes me feel a bit nicer about this whole can of worms…

  19. Nadya Says:

    Mark: aww, that’s one of my favorite songs of his. Thank you for posting.

  20. Mark Says:

    Nadya (and Coilhouse): Yay! (Although I really don’t mean to insinuate that there’s a right or wrong way to meet a lover/friend/etc. I just very much value the way that this song isolates one of those fleeting flesh-and-blood moments..I guess it felt like something of an antidote here!)

    Glad you like the tune, anyway – I’m having something of a Tom W phase, for the millionth time…comes around every few months, sounding like a rusty steam train and feeling like an extra cup of claret upended directly into the chest cavity.

    Come think of it, what the hell do I listen to in-between times..? ;)

  21. Saturn Says:

    I couldn’t even read the whole thing… such misogynist, knuckle-dragging drivel makes me want to vomit. It’s exploitation, and nothing less.

  22. Nadya Says:

    For some reason, out of all the things, it’s the picture of the girl throwing up the leaves that makes the most impression on me. By itself I’d think it was a cute picture, but I feel like by having this picture as the main page design he’s saying “look how simple they are! All it takes is some stupid leaves to make them happy.” Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but nothing more than this picture in this context makes me go “ugh.”

  23. the daniel Says:


  24. Tequila Says:

    I was but a wee little boy when the cold war thawed but I still remember the Russian stereotypes. I didn’t think they still existed but it seems they’ve transformed into some odd beast of a thing in the hands of idiot manchilds who don’t understand the difference between a fetish…and well anything else in this case.

    It’s a creepy lil website to say the least and a confusing one since misogyny aside the men who seem so in love with it don’t sound like they REALLY have intentions to follow up on anything discussed. So really it’s just one ex-pat showing off pretty foreign faces to anybody who’ll listen to his inane bullshit. Added to this is his ideal beauties honestly seem to fall in lock step with the ideal of just about any western country…

    The best part? The links section.

    Pure hilarity. Some real gems to be read if you’ve not visited them yet.

    The whole thing reads a bit like Dave Sim’s notorious rant on women from years back…only not as daft.

  25. Guillermito Says:

    This half-crazy guy, making money by selling illusion at a discounted rate, and ranting at length against feminism, “This Evil that destroys everything”, should be immediately transformed into a woman and sent back in the 50’s. Then maybe he would understand. Although, I doubt it.

    Almost looks like a fake, in fact.

  26. Mark Says:

    ps, Nadya – “for some reason it’s the picture of the girl throwing up the leaves that makes the most impression on me” – I’m nicking that for my epitaph!

  27. Matthieu Gagné Says:

    Forget the russian wives, I’m gonna start a cult in japan and ask everybody to call me “Big Powerful Savior Daddy-Man”.

  28. Mer Says:


    Ah, the famous Sims rant. That dude is crazier than a shithouse rat.

  29. Jon Munger Says:


    I hope all of you are lucky enough to be invited into the humble but loving home of a Russian Woman and her family.”

    Little does he know the the Russian Woman can sense a Welshman at forty paces through the use of their highly developed telepathic taste buds. The Russian Woman gingerly licks the back of each doorknob in her humble home, and should even a drop of Welsh blood touch that doorknob, either through fingertip or misting (as Welshmen do), the Russian Woman alerts her hive with a booming cry of ‘Chippeechew-Ah!’

    Should you hear this cry do not marvel at the Beauty and Majesty of the Loving Russian Woman, no. Instead, Run your Ass off, filthy Welshman, Run.

  30. Alexander Says:

    I feel like I should make a Yakov Smirnoff joke…

    …though, in his defense, those big fur hats ARE quite off the hook.

  31. Zoetica Says:

    @Jon Munger: I would have spit my drink all over the screen, were I drinking at the moment I read your comment.

  32. Io Says:

    and people wonder why I’m a feminist.

    On a side note, I wonder what “battle scars” he has? Perhaps genital warts, or better yet, the claw marks given to him by women who refused to swallow his misogyny.

  33. Erica!!! Says:

    I just got done reading a discussion in the comments section and I had to stop because my blood pressure was going to explode my brain. OMG! I always forget that there are people who think like that. I need to go spit.

  34. Isabel Says:

    @ Erica!!!: Ditto, i have wasted half an hour of my life reading the comments and getting angrier and angrier. We just need to bear in mind not all men are this fucked up when it comes to getting on with women in their own country, this has made me appreciate my boyfriend in a whole new light.

  35. Oksana Boichenko Says:

    Russian women were always considered to be the most beautiful, tender and feminine in the world. And I wish every man to have such a wife :)

  36. Mike D. Says:

    I’ve never been to Russia but I have met a few Russian females in my time. A few in high school and I’ve worked with a couple a few years back. All were quite lovely and surprisingly friendly. Unlike the arrogant American feminized women who seemed hate their guts. Probably because they were prettier than all of them could ever hope to be.

    BTW, foreign men don’t like American women either. No one does who’s actually met REAL women. Unless he’s a pussy whipped mangina. But you have plenty of those in your own country dont ya?

  37. Mer Says:

    Oh, Mike D, you’re such a charmer!

    That reminds me… I heard the FUNNIEST joke the other day… something about a woman with two black eyes… oh, silly me, I can’t remember the punchline! You wouldn’t happen to remember it, would you?

    Something tells me you would.

  38. sam ogilvie Says:

    The 30 or so Russian women I know are all highly educated, culturally literate, and in great physical shape. Quite frankly, Mer, they are sweet, and pleasant, but they are highly capable of dealing with aggressive men, and aren’t to be toyed with. As in America, some prefer a traditional marriage, but many do not. Generally speaking they appreciate the way men from the West treat them.
    Mark, my address is readily available on the Web. If you want to talk, I am ready and available!

  39. sam ogilvie Says:

    The girl pictured throwing the leaves, Inessa, is an excellent, University-educated,writer/journalist. According to the man who knows her well, she thoroughly enjoys the simple things in life. A nice walk through the countryside, coffee at a local cafe, picking flowers and making arrangements and that sort of thing. But simple, she’s not!

  40. Genital herpesout break Says:

    The biggest prevention for genital herpes outbreak begins at home.

  41. Mer Says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahaa. i’m sorry, I just couldn’t bring myself to spam that comment… it just seems way too appropriate for a mildly irritating and diseased thread THAT NEVER GOES AWAY.

  42. neil Says:

    I dont think that generalization is a good idea. But i have to admit that during my visit to Russia and subsequently getting into a beautiful relationship with a russian woman. . . I think they are beautiful, tender and very caring. . . And the only way to win their heart is to be the same with them. No great trick there. In fact that works with any woman i think :)

  43. Mosaddek Hussain Says:

    I like russian girlfriends/women for my life. As u know that friends come from heaven and relationship makes the world paradise and peace garden so if u need a real, trustworthy,loyal,caring,sincere and loving life partner for real peace in mind u can try me for ur life. I am well educated person with a great sense of humor. U can trust me for life. U can get many friends in this cruel world but can u assess how much r trustworthy to u? U can write me with confidence directly to: [email protected]
    Waiting 4 anyone want real love and peace from her partner.

  44. Tatiana Larina Says:

    As far as I see this real truth was written by the person who has no idea about Russian women and their mentality.

  45. Nadia Says:

    Why NOT marry a Russian woman? by Nadia Dantos
    If you are nursing the idea of getting married to a woman from any of the Russian states,get ready for a strange and new eye opening experience.From the very beginning it is destined not to be an easy ride.Starting from the differences in mentality,the language barrier,the usual age gap between the two of you,and finishing with the intimidating immigration process in the former soviet countries,this project of yours may become one of your worst nightmares.Buiding a strong and happy relationship with a “Russian girl” seems to be the greatest affair of your personal life,yet this commonly encountered illusion among Western men,when applied in real life,proves to remain what it really is:just an illusion.

  46. Explore Nature Says:

    We must protect feminine women in anywhere, but not feminists.

  47. Meredith Yayanos Says: