Tom Waits Unleashes P.E.H.D.T.S.C.K.J.M.B.A.

Just when you thought it wasn’t possible to adore this gentleman any more than you already do, here is Tom Waits holding court at a recent “live press conference” to inform the public of his upcoming Glitter & Doom tour:

Waits hasn’t announced any new recordings. Bloggers are speculating that the tour is in support of actress Scarlett Johansson’s album of Tom Waits covers, which comes out later this month, and which I am about as likely to purchase as Chester Cheetah is to burst forth from my chest cavity in a scabby, florescent orange flood of processed cheese while singing “Jockey Full of Burbon”. No offense.

Tom Waits’ Glitter & Doom Summer Tour:

6/17 – Phoenix, AZ @ Orpheum
06/18 – Phoenix, AZ @ Orpheum
06/20 – El Paso, TX @ Plaza
06/22 – Houston, TX @ Jones Hall
06/23 – Dallas, TX @ Palladium
06/25 – Tulsa, OK @ Brady Theatre
06/26 – St. Louis, MO @ Fox Theatre
06/28 – Columbus, OH @ Ohio Theatre
06/29 – Knoxville, TN @ Civic Theatre
07/01 – Jacksonville, FL @ Times Union Center Moran Theatre
07/02 – Mobile, AL @ Saenger Theatre
07/03 – Birmingham, AL @ Alabama Theatre
07/05 – Atlanta, GA @ Fox Theatre

(Via Blood Money/Alice alumna, Carla K.)

13 Responses to “Tom Waits Unleashes P.E.H.D.T.S.C.K.J.M.B.A.”

  1. lauren Says:

    Yes, please marry me Mr. Waits.

  2. the_dannobot Says:

    actually, the scarlett johansson album isn’t half bad.

  3. Jessica Says:

    I don’t mean to be a brat…but dannobot, you MUST be kidding…?!? I tried to watch one of the videos and quickly began to bleed from my ears and eyes…

  4. the_dannobot Says:

    hahaha you’re just not used to hearing a female baritone

  5. Mer Says:

    Sorry, but Nina Simone she is not.

    My distaste has more to do with her questionable sincerity, rhythm, or relative pitch.

    Loved her in Lost In Translation, though. :)

  6. Jessica Says:

    I’d say you nailed it Mer…

    She does have a beautiful speaking voice…but singing, not so much. I was also quite underwhelmed by the Falling Down video. I just don’t see anything even *mildly* interesting about her puttering around, getting ready for some magazine shoot…?

    p.s. I wanna be there if Chester ever does a Waits cover! heeeee

    p.p.s. It can’t be a coincidence that the tour has the same name as the recent show at the Met…

  7. Mark Says:

    I hear a filthy rumour there’ll be a similarly acronymous tour of Europe to follow, so I’m watching the skies, rocking anxiously on my heels…

    In irrelevant Tom Waits news: for some reason, much as I’ve loved and followed the chap for years, I’ve only just discovered that my copy of Rain Dogs inexplicably doesn’t have Hang Down Your Head on it (which is so strange that I’m seriously wondering if I’ve picked up some rare publishing oddity there – no mention of any such ‘version’ to be found online…). Anyway, as a result, I’ve only just got hold of it. My good, it’s pretty. Instant ‘desert island’ material, methinks…

    In even more irrelevant Scarlett Johansson news: I appear to be the only person in the world she doesn’t do much for. She’s just too prototypical IMHO – there’s a weird emotional void lingering about her face, which is faintly creepy, but that’s the only interesting aspect of her look. I was alone amongst my mates in finding Thora Birch way more attractive when we first saw Ghost World…but then I’d already been reading the graphnov, so I suppose I was totally biased. ;)

  8. Jerem Morrow Says:

    The duke of fucking COOL.

  9. Peter S. Says:

    “My distaste has more to do with her questionable sincerity, rhythm, or relative pitch.”

    Well, I suppose at the least she isn’t Mrs Miller. Ever heard her “Strangers In The Night?”

  10. Mer Says:

    What are you talking about?! Mrs Miller’s freakin’ awesome! While she may have lacked those latter attributes, the dear woman sang with gobs and gobs of sincerity. :D

  11. Krazmo Says:

    If you like Tom Waits, you really need to take a listen to some Capt Beefheart. Although Trout Mask Replica is his most famous, it’s probably the most difficult and offputting. Try Clear Spot or Shiny Beast. Great stuff.

    Nobody, except maybe Waits, can gargle gravel like the Captain. For example:

    Yeah, he’s a freak. Whadda ya want?

  12. Mer Says:

    Aw, Krazmo… What , do I look like I was born yeserday or somethin’? :)

    Love the Cap’n. Actually, Trout Mask is definitely my fave. Apparently I am not alone in this…

    That’s hot.

  13. Krazmo Says:

    LOL wut?

    I, I, I just don’t know what to think of that image.

    Regarding Trout Mask, it’s funny, but everyone I’ve met who liked it had the same thing to say: “At first I thought it was the worst music ever, but then I started to like it!” This is generally followed by some fast ‘n bulbous action.

    I want to see video of Paris saying “fast ‘n bulbous”. Can you get me this?