WEAM, Home of The Rocking Machine

The WEAM. Does the name ring a bell? No? No, probably not. But it’s one of the more captivating gems I found on a recent visit to Miami, Florida. Buried within that pastel deco tourist wasteland is an unassuming glass entryway with a small sign and a nude statue in the window, a table with some brochures, and an elevator. I happened to see the statue and sign as I was walking by on my way to somewhere else, and was just intrigued enough to drag my companions into that elevator for a peek.

What we found was an unattractively-lit foyer and a high entry fee. Too curious to back down now, I insisted on checking it out so pay we did and in we went. The place was enormous and filled with art and artifacts. “Curated” would not be the right word to describe this haphazard cacophony of objects, arranged on shelves, in glass cases, on pedestals and hanging on every inch of wall space. There were some two dozen rooms and nooks, sort of arranged by place and theme but not really. There are French caricatures, offensive “African primitive” cartoons, horrible paint-by-number nude portraits, serious carvings and phallic sculptures, paintings by many amateurs that seem to be included only because they feature boobies, fetish posters from the ’80s, glass dildos, naughty mechanical sex-themed snuff boxes, a giant four poster bed whose four posts are GIANT PHALLI OVER A FOOT IN DIAMETER… I could go on.

The real treasure, totally unexpected and unadvertised, is located toward the end of the museum. We’d plodded through each of the 20 or so rooms, examining the motley collection of objects erotic, repulsive, curious and hilarious… we were starting to feel fatigued and pressed for time… and then there it was.

The fibreglass rock-a-penis. The very same gleaming white sculpture,
called “The Rocking Machine” featured in A Clockwork Orange. I was
standing face to balls with it. Literally six inches away from it in
all its smooth, shiny glory.

Total. Wholesale. Nerdgasm. Meltdown.

…It’s not for sale. I asked.

(Dejected by this, I turned to the internet, which had happier news for me: Herman Makkink’s famous kinetic sculpture has been recast in a “limited edition” (of a reproduction?) and can be had via his website. I know you’ll sleep better knowing this.)

6 Responses to “WEAM, Home of The Rocking Machine”

  1. cappy Says:

    Drencrom.com! Ha — I was just about to ask where you could buy one.

    Unfortunately the price seems to be “if you ask to ask, you can’t afford.” :P

  2. Tequila Says:

    This is one of those places I’d want to wander around heavily inebriated. Not to laugh like an idiot about mind you but to get that blurring daze of being drunk mixed with the sight of such erotic craziness. The closest I ever got to the “The Rocking Machine” was some unauthorized replica I saw years ago in North Hollywood…they had the “tables” from the opening Clockwork Orange scene too.

  3. Mer Says:


    (Thanks for this post, Irene. I laughed myself sick.)

  4. Jerem Morrow Says:

    I cried in understanding-laughter at this.

  5. Irene Kaoru Says:

    @tequila, I think slight inebriation would be the optimal state for this place, yes.

  6. Eban Says:

    Very cool object to see in real life. But watching the film I’d imagined it was made of porcelain, sad to learn the truth. I don’t see how a flimsy piece of fiberglass would crush the Cat-Lady’s head. Alex was really railroaded, he should have only gotten manslaughter.