BTC: Cindy, Bert und der Pekingese von Baskerville

Morning, mein lieblings. Not that it looks much like morning out there, with the streetlamps still on at nearly 7am and a sky as cold and dark as Satan’s bunghole. The only sign of life in the street below my window: two scabby possums going at it atop a mildewed stack of phone books over by the garbage bins. Dunno what drugs they’re on, but I could really use some right about now. Stupid uncontrollable yawning. Stupid irrational mid-November mood slump. Stupid Seasonal Affective Disorder with its stupid, STUPID boohoo abbreviation. How is anyone supposed to take that name seriously, anyway? “Hey boss, sorry about my general nonproductivity, irritability and/or copious drooling… I haz TEH SAD.”

Guten Morgen. We’re German, we’re mod, we’re impassive, and inexplicably, we’ve changed Ozzie’s lyrics to reflect our deep admiration for Arthur Conan Doyle’s masterful mystery story, The Hounds of the Baskerville. PS: Bert took the brown acid. Do not make direct eye contact.

Consider this week’s Better Than Coffee clip a kind of “could be worse” meditation. Judging by their sickly pallor and glazed eyes, phlegmatic-bordering-on-undead “dance moves” and seeming recalcitrance to the sainted spirit of Sabbath, I’m certain that Cindy, Bert and the rest of the Hits a Go Go kids are in far more desperate need of full spectrum light therapy than any of us. (Especially that one ‘luuded up little bitch with the unfortunate Friends-era Jennifer Anniston hairdo. Gah. What a dog!)

No, home-brewed coffee just ain’t cutting it today. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to catch one of those possums and gnaw the hot, steaming pineal gland right out of its face. Tschüss!

9 Responses to “BTC: Cindy, Bert und der Pekingese von Baskerville”

  1. Erica Stratton Says:

    “a sky as cold and dark as Satan’s bunghole”

    I am now going to use this whenever the weather gets icky.

  2. James Shearhart Says:

    TEH SAD indeed. That Pekingese is so firing his agent after this….

  3. The Eso Says:

    This made me incredibly happy. Nice imagery with the possums, by the way. That made me happy as well, though now I feel guilty for greedily stealing all of the joy in the room.

  4. copyranter Says:

    The Blizzard of Oz is rolling over in his daytime coffin—ausgezeichnet!

  5. Skerror Says:

    @Mer…”Especially that one ‘luuded up little bitch with the unfortunate Friends-era Jennifer Anniston hairdo. Gah. What a dog!” — I have no idea whether you’re talking about the Pekingese or the zombie that pops up at :23

    @James…Haha. The dog did a good job of keeping his distance and showing his boredom though. The agent goes, but he’ll keep his publicist and he’ll find work again.

  6. Alice Says:

    This song MUST be on my iPod and MUST wake me up each and every morning!

  7. coyote Says:

    Every so often I feel the need to find a supremely silly video to annoy my friends. Thanks to coilhouse for making the task much easier.

  8. MissSpite Says:

    That was so amazing I almost cried.

  9. Robert Says:

    It’s so fun 2 see this here – I was hoping that this would remain as a “German Secret” forever – hahaha. Today it is just fun – by the time it was produced only a little number of people in Germany were used to (or understood) songs in English – so the music makers decided to transfere international hits into German versions (LOL). You can’t imagine how much I can laugh about this song, since German is my mother tongue ^^
    … in these days the only thing remaining is all the dubbed American movies here.