Wumpskate: Goths on Wheels!

Pictures of last Valentine’s Skate Massacre, from the Wumpskate site.

You’ve not truly experienced the goth/industrial scene until you’ve experienced it on roller skates. The lights, the music, the fashion… at five times the speed, with bone-crunching pain! It sounds like the beginning of that surreal dream that always ends with you driving an ice cream truck in a sexy panda outfit, but here in LA, it’s real. And it’s called… WUMPSKATE (by the way, I’d pay about a million dollars to see Wumpscut’s Rudy Ratzinger on skates). Wumpskate happens once a month, and leaves you energized for weeks to come. The event is held at the ghetto-nouveau World on Wheels, where, for 6 bucks, you get admission and a pair of skates. There are two basic rules: dress up but don’t wear sharp spikes (duh), and don’t get so drunk before showing up that you can’t skate. For pussies who are afeared to step on the rink, there are old-skool arcade games, air hockey and rows upon rows of candy machines.

The best thing about this event is the could-not-give-a-shit attitude. Goth clubs are known for drama, but there’s no time for drama when you’re crashing your ass into the wall at what feels like the speed of light! Everyone is just there to have a blast. Every month, Wumpskate puts on a different theme. We’ve seen Pirateskate, Ninjaskate, Cyberskate, Steampunk Skate, Antigoth Skate, Road Warrior Skate… even SARS Skate (!!!). This upcoming Monday, get ready for… Valentine’s Skate Massacre.

Coilhouse readers in LA, break out your LOLLERSKATES and join us for an evening of excitement and adventure this coming Monday night. The current list of attendees is shaping up to be quite the Issue 01 reunion. The event is all ages, from 9 PM – 1 PM. We’d better see you there!

30 Responses to “Wumpskate: Goths on Wheels!”

  1. Shay Says:

    omg, Wumpskate is still going on??

    I’d heard about it a shmillion years ago on Ye Olde sykospark forums and subkultures.net… I thought it was hella funny then, I still think it’s hella funny now ^___^

  2. Tequila Says:

    “…For pussies who are afeared to step on the rink, there are old-skool arcade games, air hockey and rows upon rows of candy machines…”

    Hey some of us can’t skate anymore thanks to shattering our ankle doing some REAL skating out in the REAL world with inline skates :P

    …I could totally take you in Air Hockey by the way.

  3. Nadya Says:

    Tequila, does that mean you’re coming? IT’S ON.

  4. Vivacious G Says:

    I guess I’ll be wearing those red socks again. Arcade games, yay!

  5. el Says:

    oh, i’m there.

  6. EPTrauma Says:

    I have only been in LA for less than a week, I know no one here and my clothes are mostly packed up so I can’t say i’ll even be looking cute…. But I am SO going. OMG excited.

  7. Alice Says:

    DEAR LORD! I’ll I’ve got near me is an ice-skating rink, but I’ve always admired either type of skating as prime ways to show off goth-tastic leg wear. I’m glad to see people are really taking that to the MAX!

  8. Scintilla Says:

    This is undeniably pilgrimage worthy.

  9. Tequila Says:

    @Nadya: “IT’S ON”

    Well if it’s ON then I gotta go right? I’ll be in Little Tokyo most of that early evening so if I can manage to score a ride there I’ll gladly defend my Intergalactic Air Hockey belt against you! :P

    Just no crying if you lose. I can’t promise the same if I lose though.

  10. alumiere Says:

    we’ll be there (falling at light speed no doubt) – new skates and muscle memory failure = i suck

    but it certainly is fun (and a fabulous workout to boot)!

  11. alumiere Says:

    oh, and a hint for folks who haven’t been before – they allow you to bring your own skates or blades (though they may require that you remove rear breaks from your blades)

    but if you’re renting their skates are old and rather abused – my friends and i all highly recommend bringing a pair of insoles (cheap foam ones are fine, or pull the pair out of those docs you’re not wearing) to protect your feet from the exposed bolts holding most of them together

  12. Nadya Says:

    Yay, I’m so excited! Sounds like a lot of people are coming out!

    Coilhouse peeps attending this event: let’s make a plan to meet by the air-hockey table at 10:30.

    alumiere, thanks for the excellent tips. The rented skates I got were fine, but maybe I just got lucky. Will invest in some insoles.

    Tequila: I would gladly give you a ride, but I’m already picking up Paul from a completely different part of town. I don’t think I’ll be able to drop by both locations and still get there at a reasonable hour. Alas!

  13. BlueAnchorNatasha Says:

    I cannot gooooo…
    Next month! We’ll make a tradition out of it!

  14. Tequila Says:

    @Nadya…Ah not a worry! Worse case scenario I bust out the jetpack and scream across the sky!

    …or just grab a cab. :D

    Looks like quite the group…may have to officially start a 1st Annual Coilhouse Air Hockey Invitational.

    Winner I dunno….gets to choose Zo’s next hair color or something :P

  15. Andrea Says:

    I will be there. In as much dolled up gothy splendor as I can muster.

  16. Nadya Says:

    Tequila: Tell Sarah to come, too!

    Natasha: So sorry you can’t come, babe. Next time!

    Can’t wait to meet all you guys… this is going to be a blast.

    I may change my mind, but I think I’m going to wear my silver lamé tights. So if someone’s shiny pants blind you… it’s me.

  17. Tequila Says:

    @Nadya…”…I may change my mind, but I think I’m going to wear my silver lamé tights..”

    So what you’re saying is no flash photography? Noted.

    I’ll pass on the message!

  18. Brock McCoy Says:

    1st Annual Coilhouse Air Hockey Invitational? Oh it’s on. I’ve got $20 in quarters ready for this shit. No promises on dipping my clothes in red corn syrup, but I’ll be happy to leave your crushed bones on the table so the air can shoot up through them and make little whistle sounds.

    Tequila, email me at [email protected] and maybe I can help. Cabs are ridiculous.

  19. Mer Says:

    Pictures or it didn’t happen, people. Don’t let me down.

  20. Brock McCoy Says:

    Camera, check.

    Nadya/Zo if either of you two have a copy of I2 I’ll pay cash, I’ve been to 2 B&N and a borders in WLA and no one has it. I know the web exists, but I was really looking forward to seeing it on a rack.

    I did stumble across what seemed like an appropriate prize for the tourny while at borders though:

    I can haz trofi?

    Oh, NOW you want to come…

  21. Dave L. Says:

    If only this weren’t a week night, I’d be there. Alas: Week night + LA + imminent car death = unable to attend. :(

  22. Brock McCoy Says:

    Pics later, but here’s a video of Nadya on wheels to keep you entertained!

  23. Brock McCoy Says:

    The Flickr Set

    It was a blast! The people watching was great, the atmosphere was friendly, and the skates weren’t that bad.

  24. Nadya Says:

    Thank you all for coming out. I had a blast! Brock… that’s my song! You taped a very special moment there. I didn’t even know the camera was rolling! Awww!

  25. Tequila Says:

    Ah, looks like much fun was had! Sadly fate had other plans for me that night….none of them anywhere near as fun!

    I shall go sulk in a corner now. :(

  26. Nadya Says:

    Tequila: Tell the truth. You were too scared to face me in the battle of air hockey. Come on, fess up!

  27. Tequila Says:

    @Nadya…HA! I fear none who’s principle activity is going clickity click click with cameras and mice!

    We shall have our Thermopylae…our Gaugamela…our Stalingrad…our Battle of the Network Stars…all that will be left is a field of broken bone and blood…or spilled coffee & a half eaten pretzel.

  28. Nadya Says:

    Touché! Oh, next month, it’s ON.

  29. Tequila Says:

    It’ll give me time to train Rocky IV style…Eye of the Tiger!!!

  30. meardearna Says:

    I wanna guuuuuuoooooohhh!