Coilhouse » Blog Archive » Kittehs are from Teh Debbil*

Kittehs are from Teh Debbil*

The three hairs on the tip of a kitteh’s tail are Teh Debbil’s hairs, driving cats to prowl the night when all Lard-fearing beasts should be abed. And while all of The Lard’s blessed wee lambs lie asleep and dreaming of teh baby Jebus, underworldly Seitanic dreck like THIS is holding a Sabutt in the depth of the night, dontcha know. Such unholiness is presided over by The Debbil Himself in the form of a Grand Black Kitteh. Filth! Unclean!

*and apparently, so is After Effects.

Once the host of witches and sorcerers swoop in on salve-anointed broomsticks, the infernal rituals begin. The coven pays homage to their enthroned Debbil Kitteh, making offerings to him of unbaptized children and reading particularly noxious passages from Teh Hairy Pooter seriez. Each minion of Seitan must renew an oath of fidelity and obedience, shuffling past the felonious feline in single file to kiss his dingleberry-ensconced bunghole (some witches claim that he keeps a second face under his tail that looks like THIS). They then celebrate Teh Black Mess, lighting black candles from a flickering torch balanced atop D0OM KITT3h’s head, and turning their backs to the altar. The Sabutt feast commences. The flesh of hanged men, hearts of unbaptized children, Twizzlers, and a variety of unclean animals (like THESE) are then consumed.**

**Text reiterated vaguely from SnikSnak‘s entry on Cat Devilry.

(This post brought to you by muscle relaxants and the finest pipe-weed in all the Shire. Meow meow meow meow…)

Posted by Meredith Yayanos on August 16th, 2009
Filed under Crackpot Visionary, Dance, Drugs, End of the World, Flora & Fauna, Horror, Memes, Music, Occult, Surreal, Technology, Testing your faith, Why