BTC: Never Switch A Switcher

On a purely philosophical level I have never been down with the title of “Better Than Coffee”, for coffee holds a wondrous and special place in my heart; and anything that might replace coffee as a superior means of jolting me into stubborn wakefulness strikes me as decidedly unpleasant like a cattle prod to the groin, or opening your eyes to a dozen clowns surrounding your bed, leaning over to peer down at you, or looking in the mirror and discovering that sometime, while you slept, you had turned into Ann Coulter. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We are here, so to speak, so we should get this show on the road. Your usual host has come down with gnomes, which is unsurprising considering her current locale. We all warned her that, unlike chicken pox, you don’t get gnomes once and that’s it. Your body develops no tolerance to gnomes. Poor girl didn’t listen.

5 Second Films is a brilliant idea that harks back to the likes of Earnest Hemingway and his famous, six word story “For Sale: Baby Shoes – never used.” born from a society whose attention span has diminished to almost nothing. At a time of the day where my ability to concentrate is on par with my Jack Russell Terrier this sort of delivery is ideal and functions, in a way, to mirror my own creative process, in which I will oftentimes write short, nonsensical stories of no more than a sentence or two for random photographs I find on the internet in order to jump start my brain.

There are a few clunkers here, to be sure, but the ones that work, like “Never Switch a Switcher” are a testament to both brevity, and the hammy overacting that only helps to carry the story. Check out a few more after the jump.

13 Responses to “BTC: Never Switch A Switcher”

  1. Tanya Says:

    hilarity! But I agree, really few things can come between me and my coffee cup.
    I’m torn between which is my new favorite, the Harry Potter Midlife Crisis, or Hipster Submarine!! Even the names, alone…

  2. Mer Says:

    Dude, dissin’ on the name “Better Than Coffee” in a Better Than Coffee post/thread? Thus calling my own worshipful love of coffee into question? Ross, that’s just low.

    If I weren’t so thoroughly laid waste by this herpetic gnome infestation, I’d… I dunno, unleash the espresso machine/assassin robot I HAD SPECIALLY BUILT to combat slanderous meta boners such as yourself. Lucky for you, my survival currently depends upon having it intravenously pump gallons of velvety sweet cappuccino chiaro into my dessicated body. So all I’ll say is BLOW IT OUT YER ARSE:

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  9. Filipe Says:

    Mer has issues, finally.

  10. Mer Says:

    Yes, but do I have tissues? HEEYOOOOHHH.

  11. Ross Rosenberg Says:

    No colonic will be able to cleanse your soul of your blasphemous titling, heretic.

  12. Natasha Says:

    Gaahhh! My mother is a hospice home-aid whatchacallit. I hear enough about colons and enemas as it is! I’m drinking my coffee right now and while I will admit that the switcher took me at least 5 plays to actually understand, the creepy hug made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on said enema-inducing coffee.

    ..Apparently coffee and ciggs is a REALLY deadly combination..

  13. Janet Says:

    5 Second Films does some hilarious stuff….thanks for posting the videos. Still laughing