Gimme Pizza

It should be pointed out that this is, perhaps, not the best video to be watching first thing in the morning or, conversely, right before bed. The above is a clip from late 80s maudlin sitcom Full House, jumping off point for the careers of The Olsen Twins and the show partially responsible for convincing America that Bob Saget was not a perverted lunatic. Were that all it would not be here, of course (Zo’s obsession with the program and her unbridled lust for Dave Coulier notwithstanding).

What pushes this into true bizarro territory — and, hence, this post — is the fact that it has been slowed down by an unspecified number of degrees, an effect that one could be argued is overdone, but one that nevertheless is almost guaranteed to produce pure nightmare fuel. This point is made plain when the aforementioned clip turns to some of the program’s musical numbers at about 3:40, turning what appeared at first to be a bad acid trip into twisted, lecherous dreamscape. It’s really quite astonishing. And horrible. Mostly horrible.

Correction: It seems this clip is not from late 80s maudlin sitcom Full House and is, apparently, from some other, Olsen related venture. Apologies to Zo and all the other Full House aficionados amongst our readership.

18 Responses to “Gimme Pizza”

  1. Comorbid Says:

    That. Is terrifying.

  2. Jerem Morrow Says:

    Fucking. Brilliant. Madness.

  3. Heather Says:

    oh my god! It’s like Jam! With the Olsen twins! gaaaahh!!!

  4. Laura Gardner Says:

    That is horrible, what have you done to me? D:

  5. Chanda Says:

    This isn’t from Full House, there was only one Michelle. The Olsen Twins did about a million creepy kid’s movies, this has to be some bizarro clip from one of their VHS nightmares.

  6. Leetastrophy Says:

    OH! Nerdgasm! Please file under “Stuff That Made Me Weird”: The background music in the first 3 min of this clip is from the 1986 fantasy-horror flick TROLL. I was effin’ HOOKED on this film when I was a lil’ kid, hahaha! Check it out! –

  7. Liebe Says:

    Oh god, I think my fever, plus cold medications, plus this video… oh my, too much.

    This totally reminds me of a Chris Cunningham video.

  8. Tapeworm3 Says:

    It is like when I got my first copy of Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music I had to keep listening because I thought it may have some substance to it.

  9. Tanya Says:

    Are you serious? Zo really has a thing for uncle Joey? Crazysauce. I’m on team Stay-Moist.

  10. kmc Says:

    Correction: that isn’t from Full House. I have no idea what it’s from, but it’s most certainly not Full House. For one, both Olsen twins were never on screen at the same time in the series except during part of the episode where Michelle has amnesia (around the time the kids were starting to get less cute and the show was starting to run out of ideas)

  11. Andreas Fuchs Says:

    I am in awe.

  12. Will Ellwood Says:

    ROSS, you just made me wet myself with fear!

  13. JoAsakura Says:



  14. Mer Says:

    There are many, many things about this that make me cackle with perverse joy. But somehow, the fact that the theme music from TROLL is playing in the background is at the top of that list.

  15. nadmai Says:

    Whoever made this video has almost certainly stroked the acid pony at some point.

  16. Tequila Says:

    Congrats Ross, you actually posted a video I will in NO WAY WATCH. The warning was enough and given those creepy troll doll twins STILL creep me out…I…just can’t click. The horror of watching them grow up was enough.

    Part of me wants to click…but the rational side knows I’ll be screaming for weeks in my dreams if I do.

  17. maggie Says:


    Appreciate the End of The World tag because that is exactly what’s going to happen on that day. Fuck.

  18. Tertiary Says:

    Apparently if you slow down Melora and the Olsen Twins by different amounts, they sound the same.