Via the most darque and demonic Arianaaaaaaaagggghhh.

So far, ask Vegan Black Metal Chef only has once video uploaded to his YouTube channel, for BRVTAL vegan pad thai. Let us pray fervently to the dark lords for more. Many tofurkies must be sacrificed to ensure that Vegan Black Metal Chef COOKS AGAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNN-AH.

(This recipe is Immortal approved.)

10 Responses to “VEGAN. BLACK. METAL. CHEF.”

  1. Meredith Yayanos Says:

    One of my fave YouTube comments of all time:

    “I never thought sriracha could be TRVE but I have been proven wrong.

    Also, if I discover my bandmate dead by´╗┐ shotgun suicide and proceed to make a stew from his brains, does that qualify as vegan? No animals were subjected to harm outside of their free will in the cooking process, so I think it’s fair game.”

    If any of you are inspired to make this dish (I know I am!), be sure to report back in comments.

    As for those of you who prefer your black metal recipes WITH dairy products, there’s always The Black Oven. \m/

  2. selizabeth Says:

    Ha! I am totally going to make this.

  3. Meal ideas « Blog not found. Abort, retry, ignore? Says:

    […] Hey honey, can we make this? […]

  4. Tertiary Says:


    Also, the gif? Muppets.

  5. House of Ankh Says:

    This guy is awesome! I actually kinda know him. He shops at a local farmer’s market for his TRVE and EVIL veggies!

  6. Jens Alfke Says:

    See also The Black Oven, a sadly-defunct blog of recipes for tasty desserts written from a black metal perspective:

    “As far as I am concerned, brownies are one of the truest manifestations of metal in the scope of baking. Nestled inside their dark, viscous hearts lies a sickening world of decadence. The following recipe is no exception. Try baking them, and consider the fact that the mastery of brownies is parallel to the mastery of the occult.”

  7. Nadya Says:


  8. It’s Friday (the 13th), I’m in Love | Gothique Says:

    […] There are so many things right with this. […]

  9. Lola Badger Says:

    I am so impressed with your ergonomic knife skills, Ted Scissorhands
    would be envious too. I did wonder why you took so long crushing the peanuts, would it have been easier for you just to have leaned on them.

  10. ashley storm Says:

    I was just researching the Vegan Black Metal Chef and I came across your article through google!

    LOVE that animated GIF of the metal headbangers, Immortal Approved indeed!

    Anyways, we have the Vegan Black Metal Chef on our web show tonight, feel free to watch if you’re interested, should be a great time!