Ya Don’t Gotta AFSCME Twice!

Because it’s Thursday (truly one of the tougher, more unappreciated days of the week) and because it’s always thrilling when a venerated classic from my bootleg tape-trading days resurfaces on Youtube, here’s a “blooper” gem from the vaults.

As legend has it, the voice-over talent for this regional PSA got bored and decided to record an “alternate” version. I totally picture him dressed like Walter Matthau’s character from The Taking of Pelham One-Two-Three and knocking back fifths of Chivas Regal while a golden retriever blows him under the table. UNION.

POSTCARDS FROM NERD PROM: Return to Sender


Post-Nerd Prom portrait of your pitiful narrator, afflicted with the dreaded Con Plague, or perhaps some form of eyeball-displacing orbital tumor.

Apologies for not updating in “real time” on Sunday, but I’ve been slimed. That is to say, I have succumbed to the dreaded Con Crud, and could not muster the strength to lift my fingers (blackened, trembling, tumescent with pus) to type this missive until now. Tonight (scabby, delirious, drowning in my own phlegm) I’d like to share a consolidation of ComicKAAAAAHHHHN postcards, and quite possibly my death rattle, with you.

To start things off, here’s a chick straddling a seahorse monster:

This cover image of The Fabulous Women of Boris Vellejo & Julie Bell is fabulous indeed. It would be even more fabulous with the addition of some strategically placed tiny bubbles, don’t you agree?

For Furry Transgender Lolita, Press 8

By way of Boing Boing Gadgets, this phone is your “your one-stop shop for blackface, cosplay, fur and sex changes”:

Complete with a behind-the-scenes on YouTube.

Now, wouldn’t it be interesting if this ad were actually targeted towards the American audience, and engineered to spread virally through the tried-and-true “check out this weird Japanese shit” method? One ad, millions of hits, and not a single American TV spot booked. Smart, Sony Ericsson. Now we all think your phone is so futuristic. Where’s the model that turns me into a holographic vending machine?

Dr. Steel vs. Dr. Horrible: Mad Scientist Showdown

Intellectual property is an ever-raging discussion here in The Age of The Internet. Often the lines between inspiration and imitation are blurred but today I give you an interesting case. You decide!

Long-time mad scientist Doctor Steel has, over the course of many years, made himself an infectious image. To do this he’s combined vintage war propaganda aesthetics, catchy tunes and an image of an asylum escapee who plots away in a secret lab and seeks to improve Earth with toys and total world domination. Through his website he’s pulled together an entire army of fans called Toy Soldiers, who organize events and distribute various Dr. Steel propaganda.


Left: Doctor Steel. Right: Doctor Horrible

Now there’s come along a Doctor Horrible. Produced by Joss Whedon and starring Neil Parick Harris, “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” is a website dedicated to video blogs starring a 30-something mad scientist who sings and wants to take over the world. In the site’s Master Plan, Whedon invites fans to spread the word, offers propaganda-style banners and promises a DVD release later.

Similarities beyond the singing mad doctor character include aforementioned propaganda-inspired banners, shiny gloves, goggles and an “Ask Dr. Horrible” segment – not unlike these “Ask Doctor Steel” videos. There is also the matter of the title itself : “Sing-Along Blog” is reminiscent of Doctor Steel’s Read-A-Long album.

Doctor Steel feels slighted by this endeavor and is rallying his troops in retaliation. Now that you’ve seen the evidence it’s time to cast your votes. Personally I’d like to see a bit of Doctor on Doctor boxing, shiny gloves and all.

In Praise of Copyranter

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Larger images (NSFW and hello, Pigbutt Worm!) here and here.

The ads above, part of a European AIDS prevention campaign, appeared today on my favorite advertising blog under the title “There Are A Lot Of FishDicks In The Sea.

But before I tell you about more about this magical blog, a quick trip down memory lane: before blogging existed, back when I used hide in the school library because no would would sit with me at lunch, I discovered back issues of Consumer Reports and Ms. Magazine – in particular, their Selling It and No Comment back pages, which were eerily similar. Both departments critiqued advertising. Consumer Reports was strictly in the business of calling bullshit; highlighting self-contradiction, spoofing ridiculous copy, and pointing out deceptive images. Meanwhile, Ms. made it their mission to shine the spotlight on the advertising world’s misogyny. At 13, my obsessive love-hate relationship with advertising (currently a.k.a. “my job”) had begun.

All the pleasures I got from those magazines – from the pleasure of mockery to the pleasure of discovering an interesting photo, even if my beloved Ms. was hating on it – I now find at the incredible Copyranter blog. Copyranter is this phenomenally hateful individual, a New York advertising copywriter who’s been working at the same ad agency for the past 16 years.  His bio consists primarily of his exhaustive shitlist: capri pants, advertising, advertising people, PR people, marketing people… the list goes on and on, ending with “men named Jack” and Scrabble. Almost every day, he provides ingenious commentary on a given ad campaign (usually ripping it to shreds) with inimitable elegance and wit. Lots of insight about the advertising industry, our culture, and the creative process here. To show you what I mean, I present some of my favorite posts in categories of interest below:

Retro!

PSA’s

Freaky Art Direction

Ads for/about The Ladies

Copyranter Likes

I love you, Copyranter. Even if you hate me.

A Conversation with Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo

I have this dear old chum in NYC who’s a bit of a troublemaker in the best possible way, and I’ve been pining to bring him into our Coilhouse endeavor for months now. A brilliant writer, teacher and libertine, he’s not afraid of asking difficult questions or enduring awkward silences, and has a knack of getting to the juicy, palpitating core of an ethos more swiftly than you can say “subvert the dominant paradigm.” He will make you smile, he will make you think, he will make you shift uncomfortably in your chair. Ladies and gents, he’s “Double Agent Oh No, Your Spy in NY”, and here is his premiere piece for Coilhouse, a provocative interview with Mark Mothersbaugh. Stay pruned for more upcoming features. – Mer

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Mark Mothersbaugh. Photo © Randall Michelson.

De-evolution in the 21st-Century: The Avant-Garde as Derriere-Garde

Whereas the “modern” sensibility envisions a future of ever-greater human freedom and understanding brought about by political, scientific, and aesthetic avant-gardistes who lead, educate, and shock us, some “post-modernists” mock these notions as harmful delusions. The concept of “de-evolution,” introduced by the postmodern “sound and vision” cultural cabal known as DEVO, suggests that human dependence on technology renders us increasingly dependent and dumb. Just recently, Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo showed some of his recent visual art at The Third Ward Gallery in Brooklyn. His show occasioned a conversation between me and Mothersbaugh on art, the culture of consumption, and the aesthetic avant-garde in post-modern times.

The avant-garde in the arts is historically rooted in the early 19th Century financial emancipation of artists from their patrons; Beethoven had the freedom to explore dissonance in his later works whereas Mozart wrote commissioned works.* Immediately, art came to occupy a place of greater personal expression and has had an enhanced potential to join the political avant-garde in challenging the received wisdom of the day. What, then, becomes of art and the avant-gardiste in 21st Century America?


Devo-Beautiful World by adiis
“It’s a beautiful world… for you. Not me.”

Does de-evolution turn the avant-garde on its head so that it is now the derriere-garde? In other words, in a society growing dumber, do the most mass-produced and contrived artifacts of pop culture actually contain its most advanced ideas? Under de-evolution, are commercials the most revolutionary art form? Is the way to change a society based upon consumption through a “rear-garde” action – by planting subliminal messages through the subconscious, the Freudian backdoor?

…and Your Dad Wasn’t Your Mom’s Last

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It all started when Energy BBDO created the “Damn Right” ad campaign below for Canadian Club Whiskey. The ads featured vintage photographs from the 60s and 70s, with the running slogan “Damn Right Your Dad Drank It.” The headlines were “Your dad was not a metrosexual,” “Your dad had a van for a reason,” “Your mom wasn’t your dad’s first,” and “Your dad never tweezed anything.” The press release for this campaign proclaimed that “the thought-provoking campaign challenges consumers to embrace their dads [sic] classic masculinity, most visibly expressed through their choice to drink Canadian Club whisky cocktails.” Some choice copy:

Your Dad Was Not a Metrosexual. He didn’t do pilates. Moisturize. Or drink pink cocktails. Your dad drank whiskey cocktails. Made with Canadian Club. Served in a rocks glass. They tasted good. They were effortless. DAMN RIGHT YOUR DAD DRANK IT.

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But the people weren’t havin’ it. The first thing that was pointed out on many blogs when this campaign launched is how “Your dad wasn’t your mom’s first” wouldn’t have quite the same ring to it. Graffiti appeared on the Van poster: “and that’s why your mom left him.” And the parodies of the nostalgic views of masculinity poured in… “Your dad didn’t use condoms when he was in Saigon.” “Your Dad smoked while pumping gas.” “Dad didn’t call it ‘Date Rape,’ it was just a ‘Date’.”

But the best was when blogger Michelle Schwartz created this template, which let people really go to town, resulting in the ads below and in many more here. The revised taglines proclaimed, “Damn right your mom drank it! And it sure as hell wasn’t Canadian Club.”

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I love the fact that the web lets us respond to advertising so actively and directly. It was definitely amusing and somewhat therapeutic to see these responses emerge. Paradoxically, they probably made this campaign more successful in terms of branding/awareness than ever projected. So victory is bittersweet – unlike the drink, which will forever taste rotten to me.

via SocImages

“So, that’s a Jackfruit ghost, right?”

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Photo of the annual Phi Ta Khon festival in Dan Sai, Thailand, from phuketguidebook.com.

If the all of the superstitions are to be believed, there are ghosts and demons lurking behind every banana tree in Thailand. After that catastrophic tsunami a couple years back, international news was full of bone-chilling accounts from Thai volunteers who’d been spooked by sightings of “dead foreigners [who didn’t] know what happened and all think they are still on the beach… on holiday.” Many families and businesses keep a spirit house where daily offerings of fruit, milk and trinkets are offered to supplicate potentially malevolent spirits who might be lingering nearby. Every June, in their equivalent to El Dia de los Muertos or Halloween, Thais rub elbows with naughty ghosts at the sumptuous Phi Ta Khon festival in Dan Sai.

I’m fascinated by Thai culture and folklore, and perhaps a bit guilty of taking it all a bit too seriously in an outside-looking-in kind of way, so this commercial slayed me:


Lightbulb ad spot from Jeh United and director Thanonchai Sornsrivichai for Sylvania.

Kudos to Brian Moroz (via BoingBoing Gadgets, I presume) for the much needed cheer-uppance.

Branding, From Your Mouth to God’s Ear

Companies spend billions of dollars each year trying to to create a positive image for their brand. Alas, there are times when no matter how many fancy campaigns you run, no matter how many experts you consult, a certain image is burned into the public’s mind forever. A new site called Brand Tags tries to distill that image for all to see.

Brand Tags is “a collective experiment in brand perception,” and it works like this: the site loads, a brand shows up, and you’re asked to type one word – the first word that comes to mind when you see the logo. The result is compiled with the rest of the answers and appears in a “tag cloud.” The more frequently a word gets typed by different people, the larger it appears, to some interesting effect. For example, here’s a slice of the tag cloud for Adobe:

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As you can see above, opinion is divided. Many people tagged Adobe as “expensive” and “bloatware,” but overall the response indicated that people find Adobe’s products useful, although many wish there were alternatives. Here’s an example of a brand that received very little love on the site, Taco Bell:

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Most of the results are hilarious, scathing and true. When I clicked on the tag cloud for MTV, one of the largest tags was “no music,” the rest of the tag cloud peppered with comments such as “outdated” and “obsolete.” One of the biggest tags on Pabst was “hipster,” in close proximity of “redneck.” Continental Airlines is jammed with tags like “crash,” “bad service” and “delays,” while Virgin Atlantic enjoys an overall positive response with tags like “fun,” “trendy” and “sex.” Calvin Klein’s black-and-white Kate Moss campaign from the 90s remains so strong in people’s minds that more tags reference it than any advertising they’ve done since. The American Apparel tag cloud includes the word “pedophile.” Google’s dominating positive perception has a dark undertow; along with a higher-than-usual amount of positive tags such as “useful,” “smart,” “awesome,” “everything” and even “god,” the large tags “big brother” and “world domination” appear ominously in the cloud. Boing Boing enjoys a very positive response; the largest negative tags read “what,” “huh” and “no idea.”

Similar studies of public brand perception have surfaced before, but never in such an elegant, accessible form. Seeing the cold, hard truth can touch a nerve, causing some advertisers to spend billions on attempts to improve their image. In 2003, McDonald’s almost sued Merriam-Webster for including the word McJob in the dictionary (a McJob is defined as “a low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement”). Merriam-Webster’s basic response was “hey, The People are using the word, we’re just cataloging it.” McDonald’s opted not to sue, but instead launched a now-forgotten campaign called McProspects. When learning of the campaign, author Douglas Coupland, who first coined the term McJob in his novel Generation X in 1991, penned a funny response. Did the campaign make any difference? Well, the McDonald’s tag cloud contains no references to McJobs. There are, however, plenty of references to obesity, grease, Super Size Me and McDeath.

To the site’s author, Noah Brier: thank you from the advertising industry for doing millions worth of market research for free. To advertisers: please don’t try to corrupt the site by adding tags that make your brand look more positive. Microsoft, don’t add “crashes” to the Firefox cloud. Greyhound, don’t add “smells nice” to your tag cloud. Who do you think you’re fooling? Coilhouse readers: Enjoy it this site while it lasts, because the advice above will surely be ignored.

via Ilovetypography.com

Boston Dynamics – More Canine Than Canine

The Tyrell Corporation’s shiver-inducing slogan was “More human than human”. Powerful, yes, but Boston Dynamics will not be outdone! “The Leader in Lifelike Human Simulation” leaves no room for speculation – you want the best, you go to Boston Dynamics, buster.

The video you are about to watch is of BigDog – a rough terrain canine simulator so powerful and elegant, it might make you fall in love and prove a cute thing doesn’t need a fluffy tail, big eyeballs [or a head for that matter], or a LOL-caption to be adored.

BigDog is powered by a gasoline engine that drives a hydraulic actuation system. BigDog’s legs are articulated like an animal’s, and have compliant elements that absorb shock and recycle energy from one step to the next. BigDog is the size of a large dog or small mule, measuring 1 meter long, 0.7 meters tall and 75 kg weight. BigDog has an on-board computer that controls locomotion, servos the legs and handles a wide variety of sensors. BigDog’s control system manages the dynamics of its behavior to keep it balanced, steer, navigate, and regulate energetics as conditions vary.

– Boston Dynamics

Sit back and enjoy. At 00:39 is an impressive kicking demo. Keep watching, as this mecha-pup slips on ice and catches itself just like a real animal, but better. Carrying a load of 340 lbs it manages to keep from falling and soldier on until the mission is complete.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/W1czBcnX1Ww" width="400" height="330" wmode="transparent" /]

D’aww!