The Shiny, Shiny Ballet Company of Czechoslovak TV

Picture yourself as a young ballerina, fresh out of the academy. Your head held high, your posture perfect, you feet turned out just so. The years of training, all those countless hours of acerbic critique, nights spent awake with debilitating foot pain, cold instructor hands twisting your ankle into the correct position on the barre, all those things are falling away behind you like a house of cards. No more Swan Lakes and Nutcrackers. It’s the 70s, you’re Czech, sassy, and your future is bright. So you join the The Ballet Company of the Czechoslovak Television. You’re gonna be famous.

A few months later, thousands watch in awe as you strut your shiny stuff across their TV screens. In your go-go boots, fancy hat, and chic shoulder pads you’re almost unrecognizable, moving in unison with your colleagues, merging into one unified body of DANCE. Now they see you as you truly are.

14 Responses to “The Shiny, Shiny Ballet Company of Czechoslovak TV”

  1. Cour Says:

    If you have debilitating foot pain or a teacher who twists your ankle, it is time to find a different instructor ASAP. Stylised forms of dance such as classical ballet are not always going to be perfectly comfortable at all times, but they should not be painful. Any teacher who thinks otherwise does not know what s/he is doing.

    Perhaps you have had experience with a poor instructor, and if so, I sympathise, but please do not go about spreading the erroneous and disparaging notion that pain is an integral part of correct ballet technique.

    Also, it’s spelt ‘barre’.

  2. Zoetica Says:

    Cour, thank you for the correction – I’ll fix “barre” right away!

    And do I hope you’ll see the humor in the hyperbole within this post, soon.

  3. Jay Says:

    Born To Be Alive, Patrick Hernandez – 1979

  4. Lucasius Says:

    Nice instrumental of Patrick Hernandez’s “Born to Be Alive.”

  5. Zoetica Says:

    The music is fantastic, yes! I always laugh at the low sax part. And I say “always” because I’ve watched this video at least 6 times today.

  6. Mer Says:


    You saw this post, right? Can you imagine What Might Have Been had these two forces of nature allied themselves with the dance troupe from The Apple and Sorayama Gynoid MJ to create one glittering, diasporic, disco doomsday weapon? WELL, CAN YOU???!!

    I shudder (deliciously) to picture it.

  7. Zoetica Says:

    AGH! I can’t believe you just made me watch that again. Oh Christ.

    Yes. Yes, I’m picturing it, and it’s giving me flashbacks. I’d throw in a few of these hats and call it the coolest Ragnarok ever.

  8. Mer Says:

    It makes sense to revisit Cril├╣, though, seeing as both posts made Metafilter. *FISTBUMPEXPLODE*

    Those hats are FIERCE. Nothing says Apocalypse like a radioactive brillo merkin worn atop the head.

  9. Zoetica Says:

    I am so very glad I read this before biting into a burrito. Go assquatch art, go!

    Our fistbumps are apocalyptic comets of tinsel and spandex! PEWWW-BOOMMFF!

  10. twelvefootnine Says:

    Ladies, the scars on my brain salute you.

  11. Jessica Says:

    THIS is what I love about Coilhouse!!! Just found this lil bit of amazingness late last night on Bernd Preiml’s facebook page…and…*of course* here it is!!! All roads lead back to Coilhouse. :)

  12. Cour Says:


    I got it the first time I saw it, & I still think there are more enlightened ways to describe what serious dancers do in contrast to the video, but thank you for your measured response.

  13. Nick Says:

    Move over Solid, now there’s Czech’rd Gold.

  14. Tom Says:

    I knew something was missing from my wardrobe, now where do I get one of those getups?