Cookie Misfortune and Stocking Stuffage

Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. For many of us, these two holidays represent an opportunity to give thanks for the many blessings in life with creatively stuffed bird carcasses and to observe the sacred, immaculate birth of baby Jesus with hemorrhagic spending sprees, respectively. For others, they’re merely an excuse to go see schlockbuster matinees and pig out on massive quantities of Chinese buffet food.

Cookie_Misfortune_small copy
[via Whittles]

No matter how you choose to celebrate T-Day and JC’s B-Day, your experience can only be improved by Cookie Misfortune:

For too long, the world of fortune cookies has been nothing but banal platitudes and generic hopes for a brighter future. That’s all over now. Cookie Misfortune is making it possible to blow minds and ruin dinners everywhere.

[The cookies’ messages] range from the quotidian (Fuck you) to the particular (You will die alone and poorly dressed) to the classical (Life is nasty, brutish, and short). You’ll never get two of the same in any given box of ten. Furthermore, our Misfortunes will be changing frequently, according to our whimsy.

I have to admit something– I’ve fantasized about doing EXACTLY what Cookie Misfortune has done for years, but could never quite muster the funds (or the vitriol) to follow through. Three cheers for Russell and Jason and their fang-ed wee upstart. I hope you guys sell a fuckload of these as white elephant gifts for the holidays.


Other choice Coilhouse-sanctioned stocking stuffers:

Scrappy teensy indie vendors, have you got holiday wares you’d like to promote? Add your link in comments. (Please, just keep it short and sweet. A brief description and a URL, thanks!)

9 Responses to “Cookie Misfortune and Stocking Stuffage”

  1. Annie Says:

    I have one to share! So far it’s just prints, but they’d make fine stocking stuffers (please don’t actually stuff prints into stockings; they will be wrinkled). –

    I can also do prints of just about any illustration from my blog for the same or similar prices (linked above).

  2. Pelianth Says:

    “I have to admit something– I’ve fantasized about doing EXACTLY what these guys have done for years, but could never quite muster the funds (or the vitriol) to follow through.”

    Haven’t we all? Thank god someone actually did it. *rubs her hands together with glee*

  3. Zoetica Says:

    “Every time you say ‘Namaste’, a kitten masturbates”. AAA! So many lols to bad via this post – thank you, Mer!

  4. Terra Trouve Says:

    All I want for Christmas is the sound that excapes Zoe Keating’s cello.
    I hear she’s doing a photoshoot for you. could you be any chance bottle a minor third and a couple of perfect fifths and send them my way.
    (thank you blue fairy)

  5. shetland Says:

    I’m scrappy and indie! Not so teensy but I do like my biscuits. Hmm. I’ve got lino-cut t-shirts and prints for you to eyeball viciously there.

  6. stephanie Says:

    a very good friend of mine makes octo jewelry cast from REAL tentacles! I’m sure most of you have heard of her but it doesn’t hurt to talk about her again. : )

  7. Mer Says:

    Stephanie, yeah! I’ve been coveting her stuff for a long time. When I’m less broke, I gotta buy some of those tentacle earrings.

  8. Lynae Says:

    For literary-inclined folk, I make a line of colorful ceramic pendants with poetry quotes (or song lyrics) on them. I also make mini animal sculptures and all kinds of housewares.

  9. Mer Says:

    Check out Ariana’s awesome “Black Friday” list.