Opulence, I Has It

We’ve talked about Russian stereotyping a couple of times in the past, and both instances have been followed [for the most part] by thoughtful, lengthy discussions. Not this time! Here’s a very, very silly and over-the-top commercial for DirecTV featuring a tacky Russian tycoon in a hyper-gaudy, gilded lair surrounded by fur-clad floozies who hand him remotes atop trays loaded with gold bars. This short video is jam-packed with money-LOLs. There are bodyguards, large dogs playing at a poker table, gold busts of the tycoon presented by models, and my favorite: a miniature pet giraffe. And on the topic of LOLs – this character’s manner of speech is straight off the internet, the scene opening with him saying, “Opulence, I has it”. I just can’t bring myself to be offended, it’s too damn funny.

Also, I want a tiny giraffe.

24 Responses to “Opulence, I Has It”

  1. Shannon Says:

    I too am in love with the tiny giraffe!

  2. Freya Says:

    I just had to watch this about three times. I love his hitting his knees at the end!

  3. _S3 Says:

    “More on the facingbook.” LOL

    I saw this yesterday on TV and the little giraffe made me pause and rewind to see it again.

  4. giania Says:

    It’s all really pretty rubbish, a goofy (culturally stupid) caricature to sell TV (which you’re ostensibly already watching, as it was designed for TV-based distribution) by equating it with frugal, well, opulence.

    But that damn cute giraffe disarms most of my vitriol.

  5. Zoetica Says:

    I wonder if the actor is actually Russian. The accent is exaggerated, of course, so it’s really tough to tell. The intonations seem correct though. Hmm. More of him on the televisions!

  6. Santnamor2013 Says:

    LOL! Dirty Opulence! yep, too stupid to be offended…There is actually some criticism on it…I think…and the dogs playing cards is great…



  7. Shannon Says:

    The actor is Tim V. Murphy. Alas, he is American born.


  8. the raven Says:

    the first time i saw this on the television, i missed most of what was happening. i saw the gaudy decor and tuned it out. then the “opulence, i has it” thing hit the internet and i paid attention next time. it’s probably the first advert in years that has made me giggle helplessly. i certainly won’t be buying whatever it was they were advertising, but whoever came up with that spot was clearly having a ball, and i can dig that.

    (and oh gods that tiny giraffe. words cannot explain my delight at the idea of such a creature and then the reaction of mr. opulence. do want.)

  9. Angeliska Says:

    I love that he kisses the tiny giraffe! I want to kiss a miniature giraffe!
    That really is the pinnacle of opulence. I want to has it very muchly!

  10. Tertiary Says:

    Damn. I really want to know who is in the pictures to the giraffe’s right, on the table!

    …on the youtubes, at highest resolutions, it appears to be him with world cup winning football players, and a photo of a yacht.

    He’s also watching a Twilight movie, I’d like to point out.
    And! The Russian caricature continues on the youtube page, in response to comments:

    “If you likes so much, you should visits my Facebook tab facebook/directv and vote on what’s you think the most opulent item in my house. If nothing is good enough, you can create your owns opulent thingy for other peoples to vote on.”

  11. joasakura Says:

    the first few times i watched this ad, i couldn’t have told you what it was about. Just “OMG, TINY GIRAFFE!”

    Really, I want a tiny giraffe like that.

  12. Zoetica Says:

    Genetic engineers, the people have spoken. Your path is clear: tiny giraffes for all!

  13. Shannon Says:

    More on the creators of the wee giraffe…


  14. Elena Says:

    Zis commercial, I loahve eet! I can’t bring myself to be offended either. I’ve kept rewinding just to see the tiny giraffe kiss. We all need wee giraffe pets!

  15. joasakura Says:


    I thought he looked kind of familiar- he’s the actor in that sprint commercial with the tiny people.

    His career is about being surrounded by tiny versions of other beings!

  16. brittanica Says:

    I watch all of one show on the TV (TNA Impact, don’t hate), and this commercial plays all the time. I giggle EVERY SINGLE TIME at the end, when he hits his knees and laughs. I couldn’t give a shit about the tiny giraffe, except that it’s the cause of the a-fucking-dorable SQUEE moment.

  17. Tanya Says:

    This was seriously the happiest thing to happen to me on the Internet in a while. My friend Nomi sent it to me a week or two ago and I watched it back to back about 8 times. I also really enjoy the “I also like savings the money” and the dogs playing poker in the background. TINY GIRAFFE LOVE YES

  18. Tequila Says:

    This man is my new hero. Second only to The Most Interesting Man in the World.

    Tiny giraffe is OK, cute for sure. But I want a tiny elephant. :D

  19. Ed Autumn Says:

    Hahah! Just saw this on the tellie and couldn’t stop laughing. I love his little narrative, d’awwww ^____^ Also, yes that giraffe is friggin adorable and is only equally matched by his squeeeee moment :D but seriously, it made me think of Dubossarsky/Vinogradov paintings with their wonderful, enigmatic giraffe ;)

  20. Nadya Says:

    “This is a real person (more photos), and he’s looking for love.”

    Via Marina at Animal New York

  21. Vivacious_G Says:

    I too wish to have tiny giraffe. Oh, and okay, those gold bars wouldn’t hurt either…

  22. JoDee Jetton Says:

    I am so very lovink the giraffe- and seeink man laffink – makes me wet with happiness tears.

  23. Natasha Says:

    The accent is grinding to the ears, but that little giraffe is just so CUTE!
    I think I too would be giddy! About the giraffe that is, I get enough Russian grammatical jokes about muffins biting me, and being a Russian redhead named Natash, as it is.. And NO I do NOT know where Boris is!

  24. sonia Says:

    Tim Murphy is not American born. He is from Ireland. He’s also a luscious hunk and a damn fine actor.