“This is Chriiiiiiistmas. We gonna have lots of seeex.”

Um. Sincere apologies in advance. Rest assured, gentle readers, that a spirited internal debate raged for several hours about whether or not to abuse Coilhouse with this festive nonsense. But hey, ’tis the season, after all.

(Safe for work if you’re on headphones. Maybe.)

via Siege (of course) and CheatEngine.

Twin Slimy, Sexy Flames

The Klaxons and director Saam Farahmand would like you to reconsider the benefits and implications of polyamory, and they’re using the music video format to do so. Or maybe they’re just trying to make you squirm. Whatever the case, peep this video for “Twin Flames” – it’s like soft-core porn for the Cronenberg generation. The only thing missing? Tentacles.

Klaxons – Twin Flames from Modular People on Vimeo.

So Long, Sleazy

Yesterday, Peter Martin Christopherson, a.k.a. Sleazy, died suddenly in his sleep. He was 55. A founding member of Throbbing Gristle and Coil, as well a solo artist in his own right, Sleazy leaves behind an incredibly rich musical legacy and a great deal of gutted friends and fans. This shocking news comes just a month after the remaining members of Throbbing Gristle announced their regrouping under the name, X-TG, following Genesis P-Orridge’s departure.

Sleazy’s contributions to music and culture are immeasurable. From naked stage antics with Throbbing Gristle as one of the founding fathers of the industrial genre back in the mid-70s, to starting Psychic TV with Genesis P-Orridge and forming the intense, dark, trailblazing Coil with his partner, Johnn Balance, in the 80s, Sleazy has always been a fervent innovator. He designed iconic album covers, built his own instruments, created countless radical videos, spoke out against homophobia, and when Balance passed away after they spent over twenty years together, Sleazy held it together and started The Threshold HouseBoys Choir – a music project featuring computer-generated vocals and video. He continued creating until the very end.

In one of his most recent interviews, Sleazy said:

If I can die knowing I’ve helped put a few of us outsiders in touch, helping one another, particularly helping pass on what we know to other new people, and encouraging each other to be more proud of who they are, I will be a happy man.

Rest easy.

Good Night, Ingrid Pitt

Ah, Ingrid Pitt. Lovely lady of the eternal night. You were something else, something special and rare. In an era when most actresses with your theatrical aspirations (and world class bosom) were clamoring to be Mary Sues, you became Madame Bathory. You were brave, you were brazen– a survivor and a sex bomb and an joyful ham. We loved you for that.

Ed Brubaker’s comment on your passing: “All nerd boners are at half-mast today” would most likely have delighted you greatly, rather than offended. Of Hammer’s cult following and your own near-mythic status as his reigning scream queen, you once said “it is divine, because people just love them; it reconfirms me and it keeps me alive for ever — like the vampires I play.”

Sleep well, Countess. Thanks for all of the scares, titillations, and smiles.

Mike Mareen STILL Wants to be Your Love Spy

But take a moment to ask yourself… is that really what you want?

via DJ Dead Billy… again.

Your needs are important, too. Don’t repress them. It’s entirely okay to say “no, actually, I don’t EVER want to open my refrigerator to find a leering, moustachoied Italo disco maniac turned leather couturier crouched inside with a bottle of prosecco.” No one’s going to judge you for that.

Everything Is Indeed Terrible

Whatever you do, DON’T click on Sex Furby the Extra Terrestrial’s face. Don’t do it. Don’t. Do NOT.

The Vagina Power Halloween Special

It was many years ago when I first discovered the awesomeness that is Vagina Power, an Atlanta-based public access show hosted by the inimitable Alexyss K. Tylor and her often shocked and bewildered mother. Few have done more to empower women than Tylor, a woman whose unique voice shines through in the heated battle betwixt the genitals.

In this particular episode, she uses the holiday of Halloween to focus on a woman’s duty to police her vagina, a valiant call to arms, meant to tame the lawless land below the waists of the Second Sex. In doing so she also explores the wedding ring’s role in binding both the Penis and the Nuts. It is not quite as stupendous as when she explained that “dick’ll make you slap somebody”, but it is classic Alexyss K. Tylor nonetheless.

Monica Cook’s Beautifully Disturbing Short Film, “Deuce”

Previously featured by Zo on Coilhouse, Monica Cook‘s art is consistently visceral, textural, and… juicy.

Via Wurzeltumblr.

Conceived and animated by Cook, with music by Martín Capella, the short film, Deuce, “portrays an awkward encounter between a man and a woman that triggers their individual fantasies.” As usual, Cook succeeds in presenting a putrescent sensuality that’s simultaneously off-putting and mesmerizing.

Revenge: A Dish Best Served Conservatively

Many words have been devoted to the act of vengeance, the best methods of acquiring it, how best to deliver it, the various flavors of it; all these aspects have been explored in great detail over the course of mankind’s history. Little more shall be written here. Instead we shall present a singular act of very public vengeance.

It should come as no surprise that this particular scenario took place within the realm of politics, that unsavory business which plays host to liars, thieves, and whores and which has shown itself to be a particularly fertile breeding ground for vengeance. Specifically, we are focusing on an event that took place during a discussion of conservative author Jonah Goldberg’s new book Proud To Be Right which was broadcast on CSPAN2.

(Yes, there is more than one CSPAN. There are three in fact. I know this is hard to believe, but it’s true. I blame David Forbes. Moving on.)

The event in question (embedded above, the full video of which can be found here) is a rant by one Todd Seavey regarding fellow panelist and essay contributor Helen Rittelmeyer (who went to Yale, just in case you didn’t know). It turns out that the two dated for two years; a relationship that one could describe as contentious. Seavey’s monologue is a withering indictment of what can only be described as a twisted, right-wing succubus whose only pleasure in life is making those around her suffer. This is, again, according to Mr. Seavey who, in his 2007 screed “Ten Rules for Dating Todd” opens with a questionnaire for potential suitors to determine if they are “sane” having “encountered some ‘mentally special’ women over the years”, something he wishes to avoid in the future. This seems to not have saved him from Miss Rittelmeyer.

The Daily Caller (for whom Rittelmeyer worked for at one time) has further skulduggery, emails, and back-and-forth for those who are interested. For my part, I’m perfectly content with this examination of how Obamacare is destroying this country, as surely as Rittelmeyer destroyed Seavey with her infidelity.

Update: Additional thoughts from Seavey on the episode here.

Crowleymass, LOLeymass

“I’m a little teapot…” By Charles Krafft. As seen on LAShTAL.

Quiver and quail, Thelemites, for Τὸ Μεγα Θηρίον‘s whelping day is upon us. What better way to acknowledge the degenerate rice-cooker than with one of David Tibet‘s crowning musical/lyrical achievements, a magickal rap ditty called “Crowleymass Unveiled”?

File this one under the ultra specific hybrid category of “Can’t believe this actually exists/Can’t stop laughing.” Along with this. Also, this.

Full “Crowleymass” lyrics posted after the jump.