Intrepid early adopters of the Small Business ad format, Issue 03.

The final call for placing an ad in Issue 05 is here. The deadline is this Friday. For those just tuning in, it’s possible for small businesses to advertise in Coilhouse for as low as $99 per issue. Please see our Advertising FAQ for more details. For the media kit, which outlines our circulation, distribution, demographics, rates and other stats, click here. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again ’til we’re blue in the face: we’d much rather survive with the help of small independent businesses than large corporate sponsors.

Issue 05 is probably the best issue to start advertising in: we’ll be in three times as many Barnes & Noble stores as we were before, the magazines are going to appear in B&N’s most prominent display cases where everyone can see them, and we got picked up by the revered alt distributor Last Gasp. More details on this expansion available here.

If you’re interested in grabbing a spot in this upcoming issue, please get in touch with us by this Friday, May 7th. After Friday, we cannot accept any more ads. You don’t have to have the artwork ready by this Friday, but if you want to reserve a spot in this issue, getting in touch with us by the end of this week is crucial. For those who have already placed an ad, you’ll be receiving your proofs shortly. For those who bought a 4-issue package starting with Issue 03, we’ll be reaching out to you shortly as well.

One more thing: we’ll be doing a huge “Support Our Advertisers” blog post in conjunction with Issue 05’s release, similar to this post that we did when Issue 01 came out.

Click here to get in touch with our brilliant Ad Manager, Samantha, to reserve your spot in Issue 05!

Achtung! Tomorrow, we will be updating the Coilhouse shop with several new merch items, some of which we’ve been working on since January. In addition to a new, snug unisex hoodie and a relaxed-fit eco-heather summer dress, we’re also issuing our first “luxury” item: a boxed set of three small porcelain plates, encased in a silver-stamped black box bearing a custom Coilhouse inscription.

In addition to the new round of merch, we will be offering a very small number of copies of an out-of-print issue of Coilhouse at a reduced price. Which issue? Check back tomorrow to find out!

This is a super-limited merch run. There are 50 hoodies, 50 dresses, 50 boxes of plates (3 plates in each box), and 25 copies of the mystery issue. Because of the small quantities, we anticipate that this round of merch will sell out fast. Stay tuned for the full reveal.

If internet historians like the ladies and gentlemen at Everything is Terrible have demonstrated anything it is the supposition that commercials are only annoying at the time of their original airing. It is only when one of these terrifying mishmashes of imagery and catchphrases interrupts an episode of Dick Wolf’s newest fetish that we turn to our DVR to save us. Only years later will their genius truly be appreciated. Such is the reasoning behind posting this, over nine glorious minutes of commercials from the Fort Worth/ Dallas are, circa 1990. Come for Westway Ford and Trophy Nissan; stay for Channel 21 KTXA’s prime time lineup.

Last weekend, I ventured to a fundraising bash at the gargantuan, labyrinthine Vulcan complex in industrial Oakland. Coilhouse correspondent Neil Girling has aptly described the bohemian warehouse collective as “something of a dollhouse mixed with a rabbit warren.” Magical place. The folks over there literally just finished building out their new Vulcan Theater wing. Tons of gonzo musical acts and DJs came out to help them raise some cash and celebrate: Thee Hobo Gobbelins, David Satori of Beats Antique, Totter, Sour Mash Hug, various Vau de Vire Society performers, Sisters of Honk, Gooferman, Barry Syska, and a band I’d never heard of before, Tornado Rider:

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From the back of the crowded room, I watched the butch-yet-elfin trio set up their gear and line check. Warming up, drummer Scott Manke and bassist Graham Terry displayed precise and prodigious punk/metal chops and sported broad, welcoming smiles. Bad asses, both. They were soon joined by singer/cellist Rushad Eggleston, who wore a Robin Hood cap with hot pink lightning bolts adhered to it, a matching pair of exercise shorts, lime green tights, sneakers, and little else.

Two words sum up Eggleston’s persona succinctly: delightfully implausible. His countenance and physique are a bit like Frodo Baggins’… that is, if Frodo was hella manic, worked out a lot and washed down his lembas bread with entire crates of Volt High Performance Energy Drinks.

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Eggleston plugged his axe (lav mic’d, plastered with day-glo stickers, guitar strapped) into a batch of effects pedals and let loose with a string of arpeggiations that could leave no doubt: this fella had been classically schooled out the wazoo, but long since abandoned baroque, powdered wig fare for PURE UNTRAMMELED RAWKNESS.

Tornado Rider launched fists first into a blazing 40 minute set that peaked with a song called “I’m a Falcon”.  Manke and Terry provided thunderous vamping as Eggelston leaped from the stage, scaled the wall with his cello slung over his shoulder and perched, teetering, on the balcony railing to rock out, howling “I’M A FALCON. I’M A FALCON. YEAH… THE FASTEST BIRD ALIVE. THE MASTER OF THE SKY. YEEAAHHYUH!” Here’s a clip of that same song performed at the Magnolia Festival a while ago. Eggleston took the madness a step further, launching into a tuneful, shredding solo while hanging upside down from the ceiling:

Eggleston’s jaw-dropping climb begins about 4 minutes in.

Guys, you really need to see this shit live. It’s raw, joyful, silly, gorgeous virtuosity. Go. Seriously. GO. Dance. Get your asses rocked and grin until your faces hurt. You won’t regret it, I promise. Tornado Rider is touring all over the States this year, with more dates in the works for Europe at some point down the line. Deep southerners, a heads up to you especially– they’ll be playing the fuck of Florida this week and next. GO. GO. GO. GO. And a very good morning to you all.

Tons more T.R. clips after the jump.

Photo by Tim Palen. (Patti LaBelle, eat yer heart out!)

Selene Luna, our lovely and amazing Issue 02 cover girl, just announced her new one-woman show, Born to Be Alive, which will be running at the Davidson/Valentini Theatre from May 28-June 27. Written by John T. Stapleton and Selene Luna, and directed by Derick Lasalla, Born to Be Alive sounds like Luna’s most ambitious solo project yet. From the press release:

Selene Luna’s story is unlike anything being presented on stage today. The diminutive actress/writer/burlesque artist/stand-up comic/fashion model/activist has faced more obstacles than most as a woman born a little person who emigrated from Mexico to the U.S. with her family when she was just three years old. Confronting and overcoming multiple levels of discrimination, the Logo Award nominee has become one of the hottest members of Hollywood’s “eccentric artist community” and has crossed over into mainstream film, television, theatre and the print fashion world.

Aspects of Luna’s improbable odyssey have been explored in her previous plays, but Born to Be Alive is different. “I’ve evolved so much as a writer and performer,” Luna explains, “and I’ve also become much more willing to be open and vulnerable. This will be my most honest show ever, as well as my happiest and funniest.” It’s also the first time she’s had the support of a director (Derick LaSalla) and production team. The luxury of focusing exclusively on the creative elements of the show gives Luna the ability to go places she’s never touched before.

photo by Matthew Cope

Tickets available here, and more info here. Net proceeds from the production will benefit the Center’s broad array of services for the LGBT community.

Okay, so, obviously, this isn’t the first time the name Rachel Brice has shown up on Coilhouse. Nor will it be the last. (Which no one should mind too terribly, unless they’re allergic to amazingness.) Later this month, Bricey’s coming out with a new instructional DVD set, called Serpentine. This is awesome news for many reasons, least of which being that it offers an excuse to post this stunning photo of her, taken by Trinette Reed:

by Trinette Reed

Ever thought about trying to learn Tribal Fusion Style Belly Dance, or just improving upon your existing skill sets? Maybe you’d like to merge core-strengthening yoga into your practice? How about being able to safely bend over backwards at close to a 90 degree angle… or maybe just feeling really solid and present and lovely in your own bones? If yes, then this is a woman to watch and learn from.

Heck, even if you DON’T want to try this at home, this is a woman to watch and to learn from, because decades of devotion to both her yoga and her dance practice has gifted Rachel with a level of grace and serenity that is deeply gratifying to observe. Whether she’s regally dolled up and performing, or breaking down isolation drills in workshop scrubs, R.B. is incandescent:

Serpentine is currently available for pre-order from World Dance New York for $24.98.