It should be pointed out that this is, perhaps, not the best video to be watching first thing in the morning or, conversely, right before bed. The above is a clip from late 80s maudlin sitcom Full House, jumping off point for the careers of The Olsen Twins and the show partially responsible for convincing America that Bob Saget was not a perverted lunatic. Were that all it would not be here, of course (Zo’s obsession with the program and her unbridled lust for Dave Coulier notwithstanding).
What pushes this into true bizarro territory — and, hence, this post — is the fact that it has been slowed down by an unspecified number of degrees, an effect that one could be argued is overdone, but one that nevertheless is almost guaranteed to produce pure nightmare fuel. This point is made plain when the aforementioned clip turns to some of the program’s musical numbers at about 3:40, turning what appeared at first to be a bad acid trip into twisted, lecherous dreamscape. It’s really quite astonishing. And horrible. Mostly horrible.
Correction: It seems this clip is not from late 80s maudlin sitcom Full House and is, apparently, from some other, Olsen related venture. Apologies to Zo and all the other Full House aficionados amongst our readership.
A young girl in a scarlet hoodied romper stares gravely up into the heavily furred, ferociously fanged face of a black wolf. A lesser creature might be shamed by the child’s frank gaze – her features set earnestly, courageously, eyes alight with curiosity, and perhaps, even compassion.
Is the wolf to be deterred by this sweet faced thing, obviously unafraid? Will it stray from it’s monstrously predictable fairytale course? No, it is not. Will not. Cannot — after all, that is what it wolves do, isn’t it?
And before you can blink it has swallowed the girl whole.
The ambitious, online highly atmospheric video for “Devil of Mine” from The Moulettes self titled album resembles nothing less than a Baroque fairy tale “creepshow” and/or meandering hallucinatory dream told through a “pioneering technique utilizing live action, stuff stop motion, and motion GFX”.
A twisty track that is at turns sinister, playful and cleverly, unexpectedly catchy – at 2:06, for example: the juxtaposition of Hannah Miller in a puritanically prim ruffled night dress and cap surrounded a ghoulishly jazzy, finger snapping beat crowd – this is a delightfully decadent, debauched, yet danceable “cacophony of sound”. A real toe (bone) tapper!
Bonus! Here is some sneaky backstage footage of the video.
Malcolm Sutherland’s strange sci-fi short Umbra: the tale of a space man who finds himself on a strange, yet seemingly familiar, planet. Sutherland uses his chosen medium to great effect, achieving a complex range of emotions using rather simplistic characters. Combined with a sparse, haunting soundtrack by Alison Melville and Ben Grossman, it makes for a great five minutes.
It’s a Coilhouse first: three BTCs in one friggin’ day. Can’t be helped. (You guys don’t mind, do ya?) OK Go just uploaded their latest one-take music video triumph to YouTube, AND IT HAS DOGS IN IT:
With apologies to any odontophobes reading, looks like you guys are getting two alveolarly stimulating BTCs in one day.
Our longtime friend and contributor David Forbes, who likes Ween, once said, “I’ve always found this song simultaneously cheerful, absurd and ominous. Perfect, in other words.” Yep. Very true, and very David. Hey there, fancy pants, happy birthday to you! Hope it’s faboo.
Some intense POV footage of an electrician free-climbing a 1768-foot-high broadcasting tower. (Warning: If you’re remotely phobic of heights, you do not want. DOOOOO NOT WANT. Skip it.)
In addition to pulling a heavy bag of tools up behind him on a cord, this valiant man is also undoubtedly laboring somewhat under the additional weight of his PENDULOUSLY ENORMOUS BALLS OF LIGHTNING-REPELLING STEEL.
Even if you’re not scared of heights, this has gotta be one of the most challenging commutes on earth. (Or, to be more accurate, away from the earth.) The narrator’s cheerfully stoic delivery adds an odd 50s educational film vibe to the clip. “It’s good to take a break, and take a look around while you rest.” Oh, is it? Personally, my butthole’s trying to climb into my ribcage just watching this, but I’ll take your word for it, sir.
Welcome to a Russian Roulette episode of The Friday Afternoon Movie, brought to you by my lack of functioning brain cells and a YouTube search for “documentary”. Today we present the kind of programming many viewers of FOX TV might remember in and around the time of the X-Files. Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? begs the titular question in the voice of an announcer for a monster truck rally with a smooth chaser of X-Files alum Mitch Pileggi to help lend an air of mystery and intrigue. This is all in the service of one of my favorite, inconsequential conspiracy theories — an elaborate hoax perpetrated by NASA in order to stick it to the Communists. Or not. I’ve never really been sure as to why NASA would go through such lengths to fake such an event; “Communists” is merely a solid go-to for any conspiracy taking place before the fall of the Soviet Union. Either way, it’s 40 minutes of “experts” with backyard bunkers explaining how the American flag could not flutter without an atmosphere and even hints at murder most foul. Enjoy.
