Behold! Zello, The Nasenformer

How many of us are truly happy with the shape of our noses? Judging by the number of rhinoplasty procedures performed in this country every year, not many. Fixing your abominable proboscis with surgery can be expensive, and in an economy like this, most people don’t have that kind of money. Instead, I say we bring back the Zello, a wondrous piece of medical equipment/fetish gear/torture paraphernalia designed to sculpt your unsightly schnoz into shape. At only 20 marks it helps you avoid the long recovery from surgery, but does make you look as though you’re on your way to a midnight screening of the newest installment in the Hellraiser franchise. Such is the cost of convenience.

Via Vintage Ads

(Belated) BTC: TRIUMPHANT DERPAGE

The Black & White & Red All Over Ball was a smashing success. Big, big love to everyone who participated. It was a night to remember for a very, very long time.

Right now, the entire core Coilhouse crew who put the bash together (in three weeks?! really?! what the fuck were we thinking?!!) is reeling with gratitude and triumphant joy and also completely exhausted and derped out. Somehow, this seems like the perfect theme song for us:


via Eric Cheng. (As Kambriel points out, it’s a recorder, not a flute. Either way, WHAT BLISS.)

Please stand by for more full-fledged updates (photo booth pics, auction info, Issue 06 status, more) later in the week, once our brains go back to fulfilling higher functions, instead of just doing this on endless repeat. Meantime, if you’d like a nice encapsulation of the party, please read Logan Riley’s lovely blog post about the Ball. (He nailed it. Thank you, Logan.)

And really, truly, thank you again to everyone who helped us pull that thing off, from the attendees to the performers to the organizers to the DJs to the donors to the bidders to the bouncer to the bartenders to the stage manager to the lenders-of-couches and far, far beyond. We are so very, very grateful to you all.

More to come. So much more.

Two Amazing Final Donors to Our Silent Auction: Diamanda Galas + PUREVILE!

Comrades! Greetings from the bowels o’ Brooklyn. This missive comes to you directly from B&W&RAOB Headquarters, aka the Red Lotus Room in Crown Heights, where roughly two dozen devoted volunteers (we love you guys so much) have been working steadfastly for many, many hours to make sure everything is PERFECT tomorrow. The party is so close, we can taste it (mmm cinnamon and sleep dep with a touch of thunderstorm)! Everything is coming together. Everyone is delirious, and hopeful. We truly hope to see you here tomorrow from between 5pm and midnight, either in the flesh and dressed to transgress, or via one or more of our “internet party portals”: the Coilhouse room on Turntable.fm, the Ball’s livestreaming webcast (link to be announced tomorrow), or our auction site.

Speaking of that auction, we’re beside ourselves with delight to announce the three final, breathtaking listings that were just added into the Coilhouse International Fundraising Silent Auction (which you should really check out in full, if you haven’t already). First:

An astonishing Glow-in-the-Dark Fabric Painting – Donated by Diamanda Galás Yes. Really. THAT Diamanda Galás. The one, the only, the mighty. Featuring mysterious and ferocious organic shapes painted on a thick piece of black fabric and adorned with a bright prism, this textural, luminescent 11.5×24.5″ fabric painting was created by the incomparable and legendary avant-garde performer, composer, artist and activist. [See listing for more detailed photographs.] Ms. Galas express-FedExed it to us yesterday to make sure it arrived in time.  She was also kind enough to donate a second listing– The “Litanies” Lot, which consists of an autographed vinyl pressing of her masterful debut album, The Litanies of Satan album, as well as a size S tee shirt featuring her timeless and lovely face, autographed in gold permanent ink.

But wait! More exquisite feral beauty entreats you to stay, and marvel, and BID. Behold, our final, phenomenal entry into the Coilhouse Black & White & Red All Over Ball:


“She never sleeps but still dreams” PUREVILE! necklace – Donated by Wren Britton Wren made this exquisite piece expressly for our auction. You may recall that Coilhouse recently raved about Wren and his gorgeous, one-of-a-kind, “Post Apocalyptic Victorian accessories” and “clothing for Time-Traveling Dandies and Femme Fatales.”  Wren promptly returned the favor by blogging about us in a way that made everyone over here a little misty-eyed. It is an honor and a joy to enter “She never sleeps but still dreams” as our final listing.

Folks, you have until 11pm EST tomorrow, Aug 21st, to bid on these and all of our other breathtaking auction items. Best of luck, and as always, thank you for your kind support of Coilhouse Magazine + Blog: A Love Letter to Alternative Culture.

More last-minute party announcements tomorrow. Stay tuned!

 

The Coilhouse International Silent Auction is GO. (Look, Tweet, Bid!)

As you’ve surely noticed, the Coilhouse blog has been preoccupied with this big fundraising push in NYC, lately. This must be frustrating for everyone who’s too far away to feel included or helpful. But we’ve been wanting to tell you something verrrrrrrry exciiiiiting. That Silent Auction we’ve been mentioning, the one that’s going to be physically based in NYC at The Black & White & Red All Over Ball? It’s INTERNATIONAL. YES! Absolutely anyone, anywhere in the world with reliable internet who takes a look at the following donated items and falls in love with one or more of them (we know we have!) can bid on any of these incredible listings, donated by a dream team of contributors and supporters. And anyone who wins something after bidding remotely will immediately have their item shipped to them, insured, anywhere in the world.

We <3 the future! We’re giddy that in addition to gathering together friends in distant cities to Turntable.fm DJ portions of the event, and livestreaming the party so anyone can poke their head in, we’ll be able to honor silent auction bids from as far away as Japan, Australia, or Alaska. And we sincerely do hope you bid! Even if you don’t, we would like to ask you, our cherished readership, a small favor: it has taken longer than anticipated to get this huge promotional post about the auction up and running. We MUST start loudly, aggressively getting the word out online to start drawing eyes to the auction list! Please, pretty please, immediately Tweet, Facebook, Tumblr, blog, email or otherwise get the word out about this auction and link here. Time is running out, but we are counting on getting a lot of international eyes looking this way, and hopefully, BIDDERS. We want to honor all of the wonderful people who generously donated by keeping this a very lively auction. More bluntly, we are keen to keep Coilhouse Magazine + Blog strong and healthy during a difficult time.

The auction starts right now and ends at 11 EST, Sunday night. Click here to view all the auction items. Major credit cards and PayPal are accepted. A brief description of each item follows below. Happy bidding, comrades! As always, thank you for your support.

“Dark Siren” Original Art Piece – Donated by Nicole Aptekar. After successfully selling out almost every piece in her expansive “New / Paper / Explorations” show (which only debuted last Friday), Nicole set about the task of creating a custom piece that reflects the color and theme of this party and Issue 06. 11×15″ in its permanent frame, “Dark Siren” is laser-cut from red, white and charcoal grey paper, and arranged into a unique piece of “dimensional graphic design”. The work is completely one of a kind, is not part of any edition, and was created exclusively for this fundraiser. Read more about Nicole’s artwork on Coilhouse. Starting bid: $310. Market value: $500.

“Vessel” Giclee Photographic Print Donated by Kate O’Brien “I shot this image in 2010 with the amazing Isabelle. This concept was strongly influenced by Steampunk and the game Bioshock and took me such a long time to put together. One of my personal favorites!” Giclee print is 30×24″, framed. Kate O’Brien’s dreamy, yet hyper-detailed photography was featured in Coilhouse Issue 02. Starting bid: $70. Market value: $150.

“Girl and Octopus” serigraph donated by Molly Crabapple. A serigraph of one of Molly’s most detailed and whimsically tentacular illustrations, this 15″ x 22 1/2″ piece features a Victorian showgirl, an octopus wearing a top hat, and bubbles. Limited edition. 100% cotton Magnani Revere silk paper with deckle edges, printed in navy & shimmering gold inks. Signed and numbered. Molly, as previously mentioned, has been a kind friend and contributor to Coilhouse from the very beginning, and her work was featured in Issues 02 and 05. Starting bid: $83. Market Value: $150.

Four separate item listings have been donated to the auction by Matthew Borgatti of  Sleek and Destroy. There are Guy Fawkes Earrings and Guy Fawkes Cufflinks (“We do not forgive. We do not forget. We are stylish.”), a Courage Wolf Pendant (“Wear Necklace. Death learns to fear you.”), and, of course, everyone’s favorite friendly and precocious ursine internet celebrity, represented by a naughty, metallic Paedobear Pendant. Starding bids: $12-15 (depending on item.) Market value: $15-23.


“Little Red Riding Hood” Hand-Painted and Framed Print – Donated by Dame Darcy. From alternative cartoonist and artist Dame Darcy (previously featured in Coilhouse Issue 04): “Little Red Riding Hood, the iconic story to warn young women of the dangers of becoming a woman (the red cape symbolizing her first period) drawing the wolf to her (symbolizing the newly found attraction to her now womanly self).” Starting bid: $12. Market value: $25.


Three lots of beautiful books and artwork have been donated by Thomas Negovan from Century Guild! (Holy cow… we’re speechless, guys. Definitely click through to take a closer look at the HUGE glut of gorgeousness included.) There are three lots: the “Sea Lot”, the “Witches, Freaks and Fractures Lot” and the “Hope and Sadness Lot”. Beautiful books, posters, art prints, postcards, comics, apparel and other items. Autographed contributions from Dave McKean, Gail Potocki, Chris Mars, Jeremy Bastian, Dan Brereton, Stephanie Leonidas. Extremely rare, limited editions. Starting bids are between $90 and $190 on these lots, which retail for between $200 – $400 depending on the lot. (By the way, Thomas will also be performing at the event, accompanied by drummer Brian Viglione and our very own Mer!)

“Invasive Species II” Signed Archival Print and Accompanying Autographed “Waldkammer” Book donated by Madeline von Foerster. Achival print made on 340 gsm Cotton Rag paper. The additional full-color catalog-style book tells the story of each of the forty-five plant and animal species depicted in this series of paintings, with a forward by the artist and an introduction by Nancy Pick and printed on 100% recycled paper. Madeline’s work has been feature many times on Coilhouse blog, as well as Issue 02 of the print magazine. Starting bid: $95. Retail value: $170.

Framed “Blind Love” print & Framed “Blixa Bargeld” print [two separate listings] both donated by longtime Coilpal Paul Komoda. “Blind Love” [pictured] is an infamously sexy illustration of Paul Komoda’s character Courtney Claveloux and her tentacled friend. It was originally published on the cover of “Cthulhu Sex” Magazine. Print is 8 1/2 x 11″, framed dimensions are 14 1/2 x 11″. Paul’s second donation [click here to see, do it, do it now!] is a scintillating, textured print of young Blixa Bargeld, a founding member of Einstürzende Neubauten (who just so happens to be featured in our upcoming Issue 06). Blixa print is 10 1/2 x 6″. Framed dimensions are 14 1/2 x 11 1/2″. Starting bids: $65 on both items. Retail value: $165.


Framed Neil Gaiman Poster donated by Allan Amato A portrait of the critically acclaimed, powerhouse author Neil Gaiman by one of Coilhouse’s most prolific staff photographers, Allan Amato! Allan has contributed to every issue of Coilhouse since Issue 01. This image was part of the shoot Allan undertook for our Coilhouse Issue 05 feature interview with Amanda Palmer and Gaiman. Framed dimensions: 18×24″. Starting bid: $15. Retail value: $35.


Framed “Unicorn Chaser” print donated by Jason Levesque, featuring Xeni Jardin. A high quality, one-of-a-kind print featuring a delightful illustration by Levesque (aka “Stuntkid”). This art was originally created for our article on Xeni in Coilhouse Issue 03. Framed dimensions are 20×24. Starting bid: $55. Retail value: $150.


“Black Magick Shaman’s Neckpiece” Necklace – Donated by Asha Beta. A beautiful, unique necklace, crafted by Nicomis Blalock, owner of jewelry company Asha Beta. The Black Magick Shaman’s Neckpiece is a talisman worn to deflect and dispel the effects of Black Magick directed at the individual. It contains a variety of organic elements believed by primitives to provide certain “prophylactic virtues”, thus providing essential protection to the Shaman during necessary journeys to the “spirit world” or “land of the dead”. Materials: bronze, brass, quartz crystal, black jade, human hair, hand-carved horn, ebony, and ivory. Starting bid: $99. Retail value: $200.


Dancing With Invisible Light print donated by Audrey Penven An image of aerialist Mike Estee from Penven’s 2010 photo series. Estee, who also assisted in the shoot, explains the process behind Penven’s concept: “A computer graphics technique called “Structured Light” [was used] to build a depth map of the field of view, [allowing an] Xbox Kinect camera to discern shapes and ultimately build a skeletal model of the person standing in front of it […] projecting a grid of tiny infrared dots across the room, and reading the position of those dots with another camera. […] Projected against a person, they create interesting contours and patterns.” Read more about these haunting images here. Starting bid: $100. Market value: $180.


Autographed Strange Nature art book donated by Jessica Joslin. A signed collectible edition featuring all manner of Ms. Joslin’s delightful brass and bone beasties . Hardbound. 152 pp., 140 full-color plates! Publication date: April 2008. Jessica Joslin’s feature was the biggest piece in print mag Issue 01. Since that time, she has contributed many articles and blog posts to Coilhouse. (More ‘Haus love for Jessica here). Starting bid: $55. Market value: $85.


“Rudolph Valentino” Framed Illustration donated by Jared Joslin. This stunning, two-sided color illustration by our dearly loved friend, artist Jared Joslin, features the legendary Rudolph Valentino as both a dashing military man, and as a wistful, colorful clown. This is a one-of-a-kind, INCREDIBLY rare piece from Jared! He would normally sell it for upward of $600. We are presenting this original art lovingly in a freestanding, double-paned and double-sided frame. Starting bid: $240. Market value: $600.

Black Serpent Rouge Belt donated by Rachel Brice. The incomparable Rachel Brice, a world-renowned innovator in the field of Tribal Fusion belly dance, has generously donated one a one-of-kind, meticulously and lovingly handmade belt of her very own. This breathtaking piece, crafted from countless different antique, vintage, and impossible-to-duplicate materials, was exclusively worn by Rachel during the sold-out 2010 Serpent Rouge tour of her dance troupe, The Indigo. Whenever Ms. Brice sells them herself, pieces like these regularly sell for anywhere between $500 and $700 dollars. Starting bid: $345. Approx. market value: $650.

Coilhouse Magazine, Issues 01-05. Rare, out-of-print first editions of our previous five issues. 96 pages each and produced over the last three years, these are physical copies of And Other Curiosities (01), Beauty Is A Choice (02), The “Hold My Gold” Issue (03), Onaim, Perantes, Rasonastos (04), and Let All the Children Boogie (05). Starting bid: $155.00. Market value: $200.


Ganymede Signed Advanced Reading Copy – Donated by Cherie Priest. Cherie Priest, “the high priestess of steampunk” and a longtime friend and supporter of ours, is donating a signed copy one of her advanced reading copies of Ganymede, the fourth book in her award-winning, wildly popular Clockwork Century series. The book won’t officially come out until end-of-Septemberish. Starting bid: $18. Market value: $20.

Dr. Grordbort’s Righteous Bison Indivisible Particle Smasher – Donated by Sir Richard Taylor of Weta Workshop. The Righteous Bison is no ordinary raygun. Far from it. Where traditionally manufacturers in the Wave Oscillation genre have (some say lazily) gone down the well charted route of heft and mass, the Righteous Bison has been designed with the handler in mind. Portability and wieldability have been the guiding lights for the ground breaking team of young talent that’s been put in charge of this whimsical undertaking. It is furthermore an eminently suitable accessoire to your pseudo-Victorian attire for weekending in the country or impressing your peers at parties or other large gatherings. The Righteous Bison can take a fair amount of man-handling. And even more woman-handling! Starting bid: $45. Market value: $99.


“Jill Tracy Care Package” – Donated by Jill Tracy. LAST in the limited edition series! Songstress Jill Tracy handmade doll by October Effigies. Autographed by both Jill Tracy and cult-hero dollmaker Kerry Kate. Autographed copy of J ill Tracy’s CD, “The Bittersweet Constrain.” Exclusive pre-release copy of Projekt’s brand new compilation, “A Dark Cabaret 2.” (This will not even be in stores until Sept 24!) Plus: photo postcards, “The Fine Art of Poisoning” stickers. Starting bid: $40. Market value: $65.


Ossaserpia’s Opus alchymicum CD, Hardback Book and Poster donated by Madeline von Foerster. Pressed CD in paper sleeve with impression; 16-pages A5 hard-bound book with impression on the cover, equipped with flyleafs at the front and the back including printed alchemical symbols; 6 alchemical graphics by Madeline von Foerster with an overlays; A3 poster with explanatory text to each alchemical graphic, and impression again; embossed CD sleeve-jacket.  Limited edition of oversized hard-bound book. VERY rare print (audio/bibliophilia) for all occult fans of musick & alchemy! Starting bid: $45. Market value: $70.

The Fishtank Ensemble Takes NYC! (Glorious Last Minute Addition to Our Ball Roster)

Oh boy oh boy oh muh garsh gleeeee! Delirious and sleep deprived, we just tumbled off a plane and into a cab headed straight for the heart of NYC. We’re hitting the ground running with yet more prep work for Sunday’s fundraising event. Gah! Crazypants! But comrades, SO MUCH AMAZING STUFF is still coming together. Astonishing silent auction items (to be revealed shortly), an influx of ticket pre-sales thanks to extensive promotion and listing work that Gemini & Scorpio, Shanghai Mermaid, Dances of Vice, Shaw Promotion, and our international network of friends have all undertaken on our behalf. (*sob*) And! Last but not least, this spectacular last-minute confirmation to our live music roster:



The Fishtank Ensemble
!  Holy balls! These cats are, hands down, one of the most dynamic and unique live acts currently based out of California. Coincidentally, they’re in NYC the same weekend we are! And they’re gonna come party down and play a 30 minute set at the Ball! BIG thanks to the beautiful Kim Boekbinder (who will also be performing on Sunday, hurrah) for facilitating this connection. We are SO STOKED. Check ’em out:

LA Weekly has referred to the Fishtank Ensemble as “cross pollinated gypsy music….one of the most thrilling young acts on the planet.” Formed in 2005, these folks have played “everywhere from the hippest LA clubs to festivals, cultural centers, museums, parades, and even on the street. The band includes two explosive violins, the world’s best slap bass player, musical saw, flamenco and gypsy jazz guitar, trombone, opera, jazz […] vocals, accordion and one little banjolele. Tackling everything from French hot jazz to wild Serbian and Transylvanian gypsy anthems, Flamenco, and oddball originals, the band is a not to be missed event for world music lovers.” (That entire paragraph was cribbed shamelessly from a Coastal Grooves review, because we haz teh DERPZ.)


Photo via.

In addition to playing at the Ball on the 21st, The Fishtank Ensemble has two more shows in town: they will also perform tomorrow, Friday the 19th, at Union Hall in Brooklyn at 8pm… with Franz Nicolay, another one of our cherished live acts on Sunday! YAY! Also, if you’d like to wine and dine and listen to them play a set of songs at the fabulous Drom Bar & Restaurant in Manhattan on Saturday (perhaps before heading over to the Enchantment Under the Sea event?), they’ll be on at 8pm there as well..

Okay. That’s it for now. Imminently, we’ll be posting a HUGE announcement about Sunday night’s International Silent Auction. (That’s right, folks… although the items are all gathered in NYC, absolutely ANYONE in the world with internet will be able to bid. Technology, huzzah!) Please stand by.

“God’s Away On Business” By Cookie Monster

I don’t know who is behind YouTube username cookiewaits but he/she realized at some point, something that had never occurred to me: Tom Waits really sounds like Cookie Monster sometimes. Almost to the point that, while watching this video, I though it was someone doing Waits’s song “God’s Away On Business” in a Cookie Monster voice. Turns out that, no, that’s Tom. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to this song the same way again.

Via Cynical-C

Ori Tori Animates Panda Bear’s “Alsatian Darn”

Israeli animator Ori Tori’s fantastic, but unofficial, video for “Alsatian Darn” by Panda Bear, off of their album Tomboy, featuring a mesmerizing mass of swirling, pulsating shapes, like a strange, amorphous creature, stretching and folding along with the music. It’s a visually dense and stunning piece of work.

Via The Fox Is Black

Groucho Marx Takes On An Intimidating Contestant

I would say there are few people that could have ruffled Groucho Marx’s feathers. Mr. Albert Hall would certainly place on that list. A contestant on You Bet Your Life he was selected by the audience along with Mrs. June French, a messenger who was 21 going on 40. None of them could have known just what a good pick they had made with the Kansas born Hall, a man possessed of such a bizarre demeanor, such a strange repertoire of facial expressions, and lilting, creaking speech, that it must be seen to be believed. Marx, unsurprisingly, recovers quickly and together they produce one of the funniest segments in the entire run of the show.

Via MeFi : The Daily What

Commemorative Coilhouse Birthday Serigraph by Molly Crabapple

The title of this post WAS gonna be “Reasons Why We Love Molly Crabapple, Part #2369138459008164548939347”, but we decided on something sliiiiightly less effusive– only because it more properly trumpets the existence of her beautiful new “Happy Birthday, Coilhouse” print to high heaven:


Limited edition serigraph by Molly Crabapple. BUY IT HERE.

Yes! Indeed, Coilhouse’s 4th birthday is upon us. Although the site didn’t officially launch until October, we first started blogging in August of 2007. In recent, tumultuous days, as we’ve revved up the fundraising engines to ensure our wee company’s continuing evolution and stability, countless incredible people have stepped up to help. One of our most tireless and powerful champions has been Molly Crabapple.

Since day one of Coilhouse, Molly has been relentlessly generous with her time, her contributions, her immense resources, and even her checkbook.

Ms. Crabapple’s latest contribution to our continuing push for growth and financial stability is this gobsmackingly lovely limited edition Commemorative Coilhouse Birthday Serigraph– a high-end print which we are offering for sale internationally as a supplemental fundraising item to the big Black & White & Red All Over Ball in New York City this coming Sunday. Molly obviously kept the palette of the party and our forthcoming Issue 06 in mind when she drew this loveliness. (Isn’t our newest poster child a dream, with her grandiose cake hat, red ringlets and mischievous smile? We covet her bird mask.)

A bit of background on how this print came to be: when Molly found out we were throwing a fundraising ball in her backyard, she was among the first to start helping us organize it. During one brainstorming session, she came up with a great suggestion; undoubtedly, there will be many folks all over the world who can’t make it to the ball, but would nonetheless like to substantially support our fundraising efforts. Maybe we could offer a really meaningful, experiential way for them to help us from afar?

Molly got in touch with her frabjous friend Melissa Dowell. Melissa, an accomplished artist herself, will be taking the time and effort to create these hand-silkscreened prints for us at cost at Bushwick Print Lab. (Melissa. Holy cow. Thank you.)

Within less than a day of suggesting an auxiliary fundraising art object, Molly had made good on her offer of artwork for a gorgeous commemorative print. Later this week, Melissa will produce a very limited edition run of them. The Commemorative Coilhouse Birthday Serigraph by Molly Crabapple is 19″ x 25″, printed in matte red and semi-gloss black ink onto smooth 100+ paper stock from the deliciously-designed French Paper, with a thick border of white paper to frame the print. The edition size is a mere 35, and we are selling them for sixty-six dollars and sixty cents bucks a pop ($66.60 USD, plus shipping).

Comrades, please know that by purchasing this beautiful birthday print, you’ll not only be helping Coilhouse tremendously in a financial way– you will be celebrating with us, too. Four years on, we are still so glad to be here, and we’re ecstatic that you’re here, too. Thank you.

CLICK HERE TO BUY.


Oscar Wilde from Molly Crabapple’s delightful “Saints and Sinners” series.

Back to Ms. Crabapple for a minute, now…

Mindful as we are of Molly’s long list of previous kindnesses toward Coilhouse, it’s still astonishing to us that this world-class woman, in the midst of everything else piled up on her drawing table, took the time to make this happen for us, for free, without even blinking. We can never thank her enough, or tire of singing her praises.

Many of you will have, no doubt, already heard all about Molly and her many art projects, but just in case you haven’t, please do give MollyCrabapple.com a visit and take a look at the many remarkable ventures she’s been up to lately.

And one more time, CLICK HERE to buy the beautiful Coilhouse/Crabapple limited edition fundraising print.

Paul Williams in “His Planet of the Apes” Costume on “The Tonight Show”, 1973

Warren Ellis showed me this earlier today and I can’t stop thinking about it and now you won’t be able to, either.

Um. You’re… welcome?