Being mettul is hard on the joints, and no one understands our needs better than German agricultural marketing firms.

Number of the beast (er, cow?)

With a tag-line like “Hard types need hard bones… drink milk!”, beer is now officially relegated to Trivium fans, folks. The campaign was developed by Hamburg Technical Art School, who will hopefully not be sued by Metallica for using their font.

Advertisers are becoming increasingly metal-friendly, although admittedly the genre is used largely as a vehicle for some ill-conceived punch line. But who can blame them? Metallers look like wankers and write shittier lyrics than Mariah Carey. Everything they touch turns into comedy GOLD:

Who’s heard it? What do you think, and why?

I rejoice at the fact that I can turn to my dog from the easel, genuinely say “Man, this is good” and be talking about Nine Inch Nails. It’s been too long. Ghosts I – IV is the album I wished for the entire time I suffered through Year Zero. Here Trent abandons vocals almost entirely and weaves a new sand-swept terrain of noise and atmosphere without deserting the industrial beats we hold so dear. I wouldn’t call it entirely different – it’s more like the subtle details dispersed through NIN’s other music, amplified, developed, mature. The accompanying photography by Phillip Graybill and Rob Sheridan is an elegant and seductive supplement to the sound.

The distribution method will keep fans and non-fans alike talking for some time. Namely, the $75 Deluxe Edition containing “Ghosts I-IV in a hardcover fabric slipcase containing: 2 audio CDs, 1 data DVD with all 36 tracks in multi-track format, and a Blu-ray disc with Ghosts I-IV in high-definition 96/24 stereo and accompanying slide show”. Under a Creative Commons license. This means access to every component of the music, for the general public to share, sample, remix and distribute, legally. Beyond the marketing brilliance it is indeed a revolutionary move that pushes copyright boundaries and adds an open source angle rarely seen in this, often individualistic, scene. Ghosts isn’t NIN’s first foray into this realm – With Teeth was streamed in entirety on the band’s MySpace page, and lossless multi-track audio files of 3 songs from Year Zero were made available for download on the band’s website.

Jhayne did it again. She made my day:

(Where on earth do you find these gems, love?)

No doubt I’m a jaded soul for questioning the sincerity of Fred Spencer and his lovely wife Sharon. Then again, I was raised on the deadpan weirdness of David Lynch. In a hyper-ironic meme world brimming with Tims, Erics, Liams, and Saschas, it’s impossible for this charismatic couple from Kelowna, BC to remain above suspicion. But… I want to believe!

What do you think? Friends, or faux? Either way, what’s not to love?

Storyteller du jour Si Spurrier just introduced me to the Mayor of Nightmare Town. Would you like to meet him?

Usually I have a lot of trouble finding common ground with the average YouTube commenter, medicine but in this case, sovaldi sale I concur wholeheartedly with dud8112084:

“If i ever see that thing ima blow its brains out with a 12 gauge.”

In the name of all that is good and wholesome, ed will someone please tell me who was working in ads and marketing over at Ferrero for the Kinder Surprise line in the 80s? Leprechauns? Crackheads? Seriously. I am confounded and terrified. Can anyone out there tell me where these demonic puppetmasters have gone? I must know.

Send any and all pertient information regarding the unholy Eggmaster to [email protected].

Please help. Please. The kinder eggs grow restless. They rustle and mewl in the dark oh please god help me I may never sleep again.

(From the priceless Sun-Sentinel “Scared of Santa” photo gallery.)

It’s that time again. Can’t go anywhere without getting a shot of rancid Santa splooge in the eye. Can’t escape the mewling, reindeer shit-besmirched legions of consumer whores clamoring to buy perfunctory fad gifts for their relatives and co-workers. Can’t order a freakin’ espresso without someone trying to pour their special brand of putrescent nutmeg-flavored pus down one’s throat. Black Friday has ushered in what is arguably the darkest, bleakest period of the calendar year. Even if it’s a myth that suicide rates are highest during the holidays, some of the frailer agnostics among us will surely be reduced to gibbering husks by December 25th.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/cPchA7-NNvE" width="400" height="330" wmode="transparent" /]

But take heart, all ye heathens, Scrooges and secular humanists. There are so many delightful reasons to rejoice in the season besides the miraculous birth of Baby Jesus or being given a luxury SUV wrapped in a giant @#$!*& bow. Explore the wonderment beyond the cut.

What follows is one of the sexiest commercials I have ever seen. May not be work-safe depending on where you work, but there’s no nudity.

There’s also another ad in this series, but the one above is the one that truly stands out. This ad caused a predictable amount of discomfort for the conservatives, but what’s more interesting is the debate it sparked amongst people interested in queer/gender theory. When the word “hir” gets used, you know it’s Serious Business! Love it.