Once you start down the dark path, salve forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you, it will!

Figure A: Russia’s bad kids [via]

Oh, modern Russia! My former homeland, with your gold-plated toilets, your polonium, your hotpants, your outdated military technology, your simple modesty… how you continue to enchant me with your many wonders! Especially when it comes to feats of social engineering. Witness, for example, the Kremlin’s ingenious new plan to ban emo and goth, as reported by The Moscow Times:

State Duma deputies, Public Chamber members and social conservatives have hammered out legislation aimed at heading off the spread of emo culture, which they describe as a “dangerous teen trend.” The Duma last month held a parliamentary hearing on a raft of proposed amendments contained in a document called “Government Strategy in the Sphere of Spiritual and Ethical Education,” a copy of which was obtained by The Moscow Times. Among other measures, the proposed legislation calls for heavy regulation of emo web sites and for banning young people dressed like emos from entering schools and government buildings. The bill also outlines what it calls a “spiritual and ethical crisis” facing Russian youth, including the high rate of alcohol abuse, teen abortions and “negative youth movements.” Emo ideology encourages and justifies drug use and sexual relations among minors, according to the bill, which also lumps emos and goths together with skinheads.

Negative youth movements? Sexual relations among minors? Of course you’d never encourage such a thing, Russia. Certainly not with government funds! And especially not if they dress like Anonymous! Oh, wait…

Update: Zo adds, “just wanted to supplement the post with this link submitted to me this morning by Apaniyam on Flickr. There is talk of curfews, a ban on body mods and more.

Under the new measures, schools would be prohibited from celebrating Western holidays like Halloween and St. Valentine’s Day, which are deemed inappropriate to “Russian culture.” Toys in the shape of monsters or skeletons would be banned as “provoking aggression.”

Bonus extended remix: compare and contrast to the Mexican government’s treatment of its young emo citizens. After violence against the subculture increased, government officials actually launched a campaign to promote understanding under the slogan “for the freedom of being young, live and let live.” Russia vs. Mexico: it’s on!

Figure B: Russia’s good kids [via]. The one with the asymmetrical bangs is about to be seized and removed from the scene.

[thanks, Milly.]

This news is a few days old at this point, but I feel compelled to ruminate for a moment on the following: Ian Curtis, the late singer of Joy Division, has been robbed. The tombstone decorating his final resting place, inscribed with “Love Will Tear Us Apart”, was taken from the grave on July 3 – just a few days ago. The obelisk had graced the grounds of a Macclesfield cemetery for over 28 years.

Photo by BogartCat on flickr

After the initial shock comes confusion. I find myself tormented, waking in the night and screeching a question to the blackened skies: why? With no one to answer, I am forced to speculate. What can be done with a tombstone, one that, as the drummer pleads, can’t be sold on eBay? Is there a black market for stolen tombstones? If so, what would the price be for such a rare artifact?

Perhaps the thieves wanted the stone for their garden? It could be fashioned into a bench near a reflecting pool, for late night contemplation. It is also possible to build the tombstone into a wall of a house, use it as a centerpiece at a banquet or a slightly morbid headboard that keeps nagging lovers in check. One could even use the tombstone to anchor their boat or stop pets from entering certain rooms.

Come to think of it, the possibilities are endless here – I can really see the appeal of dredging up a priceless memento for personal use now that I examine its true potential. What do you suppose has been done with the Ian Curtis tombstone? We’d love to hear your ideas. And if you’re reading this, thief, I hope you’re as imaginative as us. Or on your way to return the stone, which would make you a lot less of a scumbag.

THEY are coming for your FLESH and BLOOD! Now the last hope of the family rests on a sexy faithful MAID! The most brutal clay-animation you’ve ever seen!

So trumpets the blurb for a squishy animation by YouTube’s claymation horror star, Takena. Most likely NSFW, this clip is a hellride through a quiet family evening turned to living nightmare and one maid’s heroic effort to save her home. All she needs is courage and a chainsaw. Avoid anything resembling gummy candy while you watch, below.

• Takena’s YouTube channel
• Official Takena website

Good morning, children! Ready for your breakfast cake? You better be, because here in the cave that’s just the way we celebrate a proper Saturday morning. And once your teeth have really begun to grind from the sugar rush, might we interest you in a bit of song and dance? Yes, it’s time for the Hokey Morning Song with Kimba and friends on Kimba’s Cave. Don’t be alarmed, sit back and relax – this show’s for everyone, just like the lyrics say. A word of warning, though: don’t piss Kimba off or he might just get skimpy with the fluffcake.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/fmu5j6SIOr4" width="400" height="330" wmode="transparent" /]

Hmm, that song sure had some strange notes.. And doesn’t Kimba look just a bit familiar? Click below for the big reveal that will have you regurgitating fluffcake for hours. With laughter, I mean.

In the bleak, bleak future, gas prices have become so insane that no one can afford to drive. Crusading inventor Archie Andrews, a vegan schoolteacher, labors tirelessly to change all this by building a car engine that will run on plentiful, clean wheatgrass. But one night he makes a discovery — wheatgrass won’t power an engine, but human blood will. He gets seduced by a girl named Denise who loves cars. The government gets involved — and everything just goes to hell from there.

That’s the premise for the Blood Car, a brutal, brilliant and damned laugh-out-loud funny flick from Atlanta director Alex Orr. Working on a shoestring (the special effects budget was $200 and the Blood Car got towed), Orr managed to create the best kind of fringe movie — scathingly satirical, ludicrously bloody and eminently quotable — with an ending that actually manages to shock.
[kml_flashembed movie="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=324612271480827511" width="400" height="326" wmode="transparent" /]
I was fortunate enough to stumble on it while recruiting for Asheville’s film festival last year and it still remains the most fun I’ve had at the movies in a long time. It’s out on DVD now and still winding its way through the festival circuit. If you’re fortunate enough to be where it’s playing, absolutely do not miss it — this is one film made to be experienced en masse.

Thanks to the wisdom imparted by this movie, I now believe that, exo-skeletons be damned, tarantulas — deadly tarantulas — in vending machines are the future.

Sophie Lancaster memorial at WGW. Picture by Tania Taylor.

Two teenagers aged 15 and 16 were sentenced to life in prison yesterday for the murder of Sophie Lancaster, age 20, last summer in Bacup, England. The teenagers, along with three others who received shorter sentences, singled out Lancaster and her boyfriend Robert Maltby for the way they dressed. They initially attacked Maltby, but turned their aggression on Lancaster as she tried to protect him. The gang “punched, stamped and jumped” on Maltby and Lancaster’s heads until both were unconscious. Robert Maltby survived, and Sophie Lancaster died a few days later.

Sophie, Robert, and the two principal attackers

I’ve been following this story ever since it broke, and its tragedy really hits me with the following 5 quotes:

“Shall we batter him?” – One of the attackers, right before the attack began

“I’m not going to get done for reporting this am I? Because all the Bacup lot will hate me because I’ve reported it.” – Girl who called the police to report the incident

“At least wild animals, when they hunt in packs, have a legitimate reason for so doing, to obtain food. You have none and your behaviour on that night degrades humanity itself.” – Judge Anthony Russell QC, passing the sentence

“I really just like to think I’m now only eight-months-old. I’m finding the whole world a terrifying place.” – Robert Maltby, who has no memory of the incident

“Justice can never be done because it will never bring her back.” – Sophie’s mother

Are you sick of being victimized by the overly confident and spoiled women of America?

Are you intrigued by the exotic yet vulnerable women of Eastern Europe?

Do you want to feel like a Big Powerful Savior Daddy-Man?

If you answered “yes” to one of more of the above you are part of a growing demographic. A demographic that’s ever-expanding, cheerfully bubbling to the surface of the internet like a pot of boiling baby feces. Yes, legions of xenophiles are uniting in one common goal – to meet and wed a Russian Woman – the perfect blend of dignity and modesty wrapped up nicely in a blanket of historical misfortune. And they’re doing it on Russian Women: The Real Truth.

Here you are led by the brave American-born blog admin through the finer points of kindling Russian romance on the Web. He unveils the complex secrets of the Russian woman’s psyche, the way brute Russian men treat the ladies as a commodity and insightful tips on avoiding the scams of “mail order bride services”. How does he know so much about Russia, you might be wondering to yourselves. Well, that’s because he lives there now! Yes, living in Russia has granted him unique access to Russian intricacies the rest of you non-Russians aren’t privy to. Just look at the way he describes his inspiration behind the blog:

“Russian women are like heroic characters because they are always dealing with dirty situations and environments but somehow they still manage to stay beautiful and out of trouble. I am like most Americans in that I love a good underdog story where the hero faces incredible odds but still comes out as the champion. This is a labor of love because it is an opportunity to bring the true story of these women into the light.This is especially important since their own modesty would never allow them to do it themselves…Russian women are looking for manly leaders who have a clear direction and purpose in life and from a historical and survival perspective this makes a great deal of sense”.

When I first followed Beth’s suggestion and looked over Jeremy Harris’ website, my love of portraits naturally drew me to that section of his portfolio. The style there didn’t appeal to me at all – not stylized enough for my taste. But it turns out that’s precisely what makes his photos of asylums so spot on.

With so many photographers using lights and Photoshop to accentuate spookiness when capturing old hospitals and decaying buildings, Jeremy’s plain, day-lit images stand apart. There is a simple honestly that allows us to not dwell on various effects, however pretty they might be, but instead reveals the heart of these spaces. The result is more brutal and attractive than one might expect.

Before Val Lewton died of a broken heart (a figurative and then literal one), look he produced a string of nine films for RKO Pictures from 1942 to 1946. None of them cost more than $150, cialis 000 to make. None ran longer than 75 minutes. All of them were saddled with lurid, buy focus group-tested titles like Isle of the Dead, The Curse of the Cat People, and The Ghost Ship. “They may think I’m going to do the usual chiller stuff which’ll make a quick profit, be laughed at, and be forgotten,” he told writer DeWitt Bodeen, “but I’m going to fool them…I’m going to do the kind of suspense movie I like.”¹

The kind that I like too. Atmospheric², stylish, literate—I might squeeze two of his films onto an all-time Top Ten list of horror favorites. So the news that Twisted Pictures (the people responsible for the Saw franchise) is in the process of re-making four of Lewton’s RKO classics—including my favorite, I Walked with a Zombie—makes me nauseated. I’m finally old enough to appreciate why critics bemoaned the oversexed Cat People remake in 1982. That film, at least, had a twenty-year-old Nastassja Kinski going for it. All we have to look forward to now is snuff porn. So, rather than look ahead, I thought I might take a look back—at Lewton’s meteoric career, and at a few scenes from his movies that still haunt me. The past is no vaccine for the future, to be sure, but in the here and now it can act as a topical salve.