Mixing pinstripes and argyle, and I will not be stopped. A deep-rooted obsession with combining gray and eggplant is to blame. My bedroom is a variety of grays and eggplant/plum shades, the only non-black tattoos I have are deep violet, I’m an avid consumer of purple vegetables and so on. The big squishy eggplanty scarf you see here came from a street vendor in Venice and cost all of $10 unlike some of the popular versions which have peaked in popularity recently. These are often overpriced and worn in ways I cannot approve. (Example)
Moving on, however, let us talk of 3/4 length coats. Rather, let me sing praises to them, because there is just no better-looking fit. A good 3/4 length jacket makes one look taller and better-proportioned through the sheer magic of its construction. This is true for boys and girls alike, and believe me when I say that few visions are more dashing than a man in a pair of slim pants and a 3/4 length coat. Onward, to the rest of the photos!
No party dresses today! Time to throw on some battle gear and greet the new year with renewed powers. Welcome it sweetly and wrangle it at an opportune moment. We only get so many of these new years so don’t frown on resolutions, squidlings, especially if you’ve the capacity to stick to them. Find a night just for you this week and set some damn goals. You can doo eeet!
Just a little longer until the mass hysteria subsides and we can resume our lives. While I do not personally condone babies or Jesus and am thus left cold to the concept of Christmas, I adore New Year’s Eve. Turning of the tides, a symbolic clean slate - the lot of it, I dig. Presents and snow are pretty great as well. I even like seeing sparkling decorated houses but what I do take issue with [besides the ever-present music] is people wearing Santa hats. Just, you know, out. Shopping, driving, what have you. What does it mean?
Yesterday while traversing the already-dangerous terrain of a mall I saw a woman, ahead of me in line, wearing an oddly filthy and balding Santa hat. To her credit she was carrying a coordinating red purse. That unfortunate hat, however, made me think for a moment this was a misguided vagrant robbing the place. Why did she do it? I imagine it as a signal of despair, an S.O.S. flag breaking out of the sea of Christmas psychosis. Or is it a beacon of acceptance? Whatever reason you might have, from a stylistic standpoint I strongly suggest saving the hat until you get to the party if you really must wear one.
We must never forget where we come from, peeps. Never! When I went to Russia last summer and saw this shawl, I knew it was destiny.
Now, a little language lesson for all. What you see me wearing below is a shawl. A shawl is called “shahl” in Russian. It is not called a “babushka”. A babushka, in fact, is a little old lady or grandmother. While these are often spotted wearing shawls on their heads they are not shawls themselves. Next time you see a shawl, you will KNOW.
And of course, even shadow-ninjas need familiars, particularly portable ones.
Perhaps you have wondered what secret agent Yoon looks like. It’s also possible you’ve spent long clammy nights in your bedsacks tormented by questions about the mystery man behind the lens. Today your dreams come true as the tables turn with me as the photographer while Yoon does his thing. Now a word from our model.
“Hello all you fine people. Drew Yoon here. Firstly, apologies, all you fervent fans of teh Zoetica. We’re digressing from your regularly scheduled blue bombshell for a spicy kimchi break. Unlike the consistently dapper Zoetica, I’m often rather shabby-looking in my obey beanie, t-shirt and generic jeans. However, on occasion, a brother needs to look fly for the ladies, am I right?
Last week there no one believed me about PayLess, but here’s more proof! On occasion they just have decent stuff. Not too often but it does happen - at least one pair of actually decent shoes.Check the website if you don’t want the often tedious experience of actually walking into one of these places, but I wouldn’t recommend buying anything here without trying it on. So if you find something you like on the site, call up your local stores and ask them to set aside the pair/size you need. This way you’re in and out in 15 minutes, tops. Then you have more time to do things. Like dye your incredibly overgrown roots, for instance!
Sometime last spring I vowed to only buy dresses to simplify shopping and slow closet growth. That’s all been forgotten now, though I did faithfully stick with the plan all of the summer. But, as with any drastic regime, there were side effects.
Once I finally realized just how sick of dresses I’d become, I began purging anything frilly and light-colored along with most dresses I’d accumulated. Now I actually need to get a flashlight to navigate my closet, like in the olden times of Zo-spookiness. This means muted colors, layers back in effect along with pants paired with heels. Less overt girlyness with a lot more attention paid to interesting construction and detail, even when I’m wearing skirts or dresses. A new era?
My mantra’s become “quality over quantity” this season. I’m not really shopping and am donating a lot to Goodwill thus leaving myself with fewer, better options. Though in all likeliness this is simply hibernation and my shopping appetite shall return, ravenous!
Some of us occasionally think we should rid ourselves of anything non-black or grey and wear only things resembling a uniform. It happens - I’ve had this conversation with friends, even - usually they’re just fashionable people tired of thinking about getting dressed.
We fantasize about the ease with which we’d face each day, choosing only between a pant suit and a skirt suit with plain heels or boots, abandoning all other options in favor of utilitarian ease. Reading about Cayce Pollard’s minimal wardrobe in Gibson’s Pattern Recognition cemented this secret desire some years ago. Though here I shamefully failed to comply with the Cayce Pollard Unit code and forgot to remove the annoying red tag on the outside of my coat.
The possibility of such simplicity is endlessly appealing, but, every time I feel resolved and seriously consider executing this, I find socks and things that match these socks. Then I remember why dressing up is fun and how I actually love the way 4+ inch platform sneakers make me look. Unfortunate, perhaps, but true.
Halloween edition! An insider’s look at what BattleBee Ebb and DesignerBee Riot occupy themselves with when not in orbit or fighting world’s dictators and other such super-villains. Can you guess what’s going on here? Training? Scheming? Live action RPG? You decide!
