Happy Tombstones Show How People Lived, Died


This man has been immortalized on the Internet forever, though probably not in a way he would’ve approved.

This Romanian cemetery is a splitting image of my favorite playgrounds growing up in Russia – it has the same feeling of being colorful, cheerful and creepy (Russian playgrounds are famously creepy) all at once. Each person here has a story. Some are obvious, some are more mysterious. Okay, so Gumby attacked him from beyond the grave. And her husband ran her over. Meanwhile, he… loved Etch-a-Sketch? Other interpretations are welcome in the comments.

While this merely reminds me of a playground, I’d love to see this idea fully realized. My ideal cemetery is now one giant playground: everyone that’s buried has their own swing set or slide, in all different colors. Rich people who’d normally have mausoleums could have treehouses and jungle gyms. Cremated people get to be a sandbox.

The Pervert’s Guide to Etsy

coilhouse pervert's guide to etsy

To the casual observer, Etsy.com is a cutesy realm of craft hipster chicks and middle American stay-at-home moms; a twee repository of homemade flowery jewelry crafts, popsicle stick and Fimo clay sculptures and hand-sewn terrycloth baby bibs. I am here to tell you that I have spent the week spelunking Etsy’s dark side and my friends, there is so much more. It’s a pervert’s treasure trove waiting to be discovered. It’s almost October, which means it’s almost Halloween, which is basically Goth Christmas (oh yeah, I said GOTH CHRISTMAS and I’ll say it again). Here are my gifty picks for the special perverts in your life.

coilhouse pervert's guide to etsy

1. Road Kill Squirrel Neoprene Mask. Hand made from neoprene rubber, reinforced with leather, padded inside for comfort, with three straps to ensure it won’t slip off during moments of necro-furry Valentine/Halloween passion.

coilhouse pervert's guide to etsy

2. Latex Cage Dress. High quality latex is always pricey and this is no exception. But for this kind of detail and quality you expect to fork over the cash. HMS Latex features pieces that hit the holy trinity of sexy, tough, and ladylike with this dress, these adorable latex gloves and this to-die-for elegant shrug.

Sonny Vincent and the Beaten Heart of Punk

[Earlier this year, our mysterious New York liaison Agent Double Oh No interviewed Mark Mothersbaugh of DEVO. Now, he sits down with punk rock veteran Sonny Vincent. Click beyond the cut for the full, exclusive interview!]


Saintly Sonny Vincent on the cover of his Resistor 7″.

On the day when crime dons the apparel of innocence –
through a curious transposition peculiar to our times –
it is innocence that is called to justify itself.

– Albert Camus*

In the 21st Century punk rock may seem a faint yelp from a remote and even somewhat quaint age when people could find solidarity in a hairdo.  Please consider that there really are Punks, people who have lived the fiercely wild and ill-advised life of the rock’n’roll rebel and have paid the price. As even Eddie Cochran knew, when you fight the law, you rarely win.  It doesn’t take courage to be a well-adjusted “winner” in a society bent upon its own destruction.  True courage is the courage to lose.  As Coilhouse is dedicated to exploring what it means for a culture to be truly alternative, it made perfect sense to track down an archetypal punk – someone whose life mirrors the reckless, passionate, uncompromising music he has made – and talk about a life lived on the limen between freedom and captivity.  If you dare to win, then dare to lose.

You won’t read about Sonny Vincent in the pages of Please Kill Me because he was too bitched out from kicking cigarettes to talk on the phone when Legs McNeil called him.  It’s like this: Sonny stood in the maternity ward when punk was born, was forcibly estranged from the infant, and has spent much of the next thirty years watching it grow up from the outside.  Of the more than 40 songs Sonny recorded in the 1970s, he only released a 7″ single, “Time is Mine“ bw “Together,” whose true irony lay in that its author would do time, hard time, and be forever cursed to live out of sync with the times whose ethos he personifies.

Like the relationship of one of Antonio Gramsci’s “organic intellectuals” to actual socialism, without characters like Sonny, punk would’ve been just a ripped t-shirt with some words scribbled on it. In short, Sonny has been too busy living punk to be a punk rock star, although nearly all of its actual stars have paid him the ultimate homage by playing on his records. Yes, that’s right, members of punk’s most influential bands – The Velvet Underground, Sex Pistols, The Stooges, the MC5, New York Dolls, Television, The Heartbreakers, The Voidoids, The Damned, The Dead Boys, Black Flag, The Replacements, Half Japanese, Sonic Youth, Rocket from the Crypt, Devil Dogs, and the Bellrays – have recorded with Sonny, and many have backed him on tour. Despite the respect of such rarefied peers, Sonny is literally unheard of among most fans of punk. He’s like a step-dad whose kid will never know him no matter what he does.


Sonny in a photo booth in Times Square, NYC. 1975.

Sonny’s story must be told before Hollywood ruins it by casting some pretty boy star from E.R. instead of an ex-con who knows the role from the inside. (Surely, Sonny could put you in touch with a lot of talented people who just need a break in life.) Sonny’s life and antics are more than legend – they are real. This is as true a story as you get in an age when it can be so hard to keep track of the truth. Remember: Johnny Cash never did hard time and he didn’t shoot anyone in Reno or anywhere else.

Sonny Vincent sung and slung a guitar in the Testors, who, from ‘76 to ‘79, played Max’s Kansas City and CBGB with acts like the Cramps and toured with the Dead Boys. Even before “punk” meant “rock,” Sonny was in and out of homes for bad kids, committed to mental wards, and was forcibly impressed into a tour of duty in Vietnam courtesy of the U.S. Marine Corp by his abusive Foster Parents.  Since punk entered his life, Sonny’s been arrested in at least four different countries, episodically imprisoned, deported from Canada three times, and he’s fathered eight kids from five women.  This cat has not lived nine lives – he’s lived a thousand.  And he’s not done yet.

This is the first interview I’ve seen where Sonny actually tells us what happened and how it went down. In person and on the phone, Sonny comes across as meek, even a bit shy, about his life – like a dog that’s been beaten too much. Most of all, he’s cautious. So I assured him that, having done the crime and served the time, he may as well live to tell the tale. For much of it, he’s contrite. His is a cautionary tale of an artist rebelling with and without cause, and losing on both sides of Benjamin Franklin’s bourgeois Law of Relativity – both time and money have been lost.

(Full interview with Sonny Vincent under the cut.)

Help Build Steampunk’s Funeral Pyre

It’s been coming for a while. The steampunk penis pump, that Randy Nakamura article on Design Observer – steampunk fatigue has been a-circulatin’. But do not mourn Steam-boom’s passing! Let creativity thrive instead by entering Gizmodo’s “Final Nail in Steampunk’s Coffin” Photoshop contest.

We’ve seen enough normal gadgets covered in leather and brass to last a lifetime. It’s no longer new or interesting, and until someone makes a functioning airship, I don’t care about steampunk anymore. Let’s celebrate the life of steampunk while confirming its death with a Photoshop Contest, shall we? I want you guys to make some completely ridiculous steampunk gadgets as we give this trend the Viking funeral it so badly deserves.

Whether  you think Steampunk is, in fact, on its last breath, or just love to play with Photoshop, this could be fun! If I were any good with 3D modeling I’d enter a sweet pair of brass knuckles. Made of wood. With brass embellishments, oh yes. Hurry and submit your creation – all entires must be in by tomorrow morning!

Zo! Style Technician. September 15, 2008

This edition of Z!ST is brought to you by Space Channel 5 and everyone’s inner intergalactic mercenary. It’s been a while, and I’ve had time to accumulate some excellent tidbits to share with you. One of the few troubles with being, shall we say, not-so-tall is the eternal bunching of garments around the waist, which has led to my rabid love of cropped jackets and shrugs. As a bonus, this particular piece comes with pink contrast stitching that matches my glasses. And with the slow onset of fall The Layering begins once again – I couldn’t be happier.

At a glance it may be unclear why this admittedly bold outfit would suit a woman on a mission, but I assure you, it’s all perfectly functional. A hood to conceal your identity, an array of shiny baubles to distract the enemy, heels with protective padding for your best kicks all make for fine mission gear.  To the untrained eye you might look like a space hooker, but worry not – that never stopped Aeon Flux or the Silk Spectre.

Cropped jacket: by Tur:bo[wear] via. Cryoflesh.com

T-shirt: Social Awearness

Bubble skirt: H&M

Tights: H&M

Legwarmers: gift from Hong Kong

Shoes: ElectriqueBoutique.com

Accessory details and more photos beyond the jump.

DAMN it, David Foster Wallace…

Author David Foster Wallace is dead. The self-effacing, hilarious, bitter genius behind Infinite Jest as well as Girl With Curious Hair and Brief Interviews With Hideous Men hanged himself at his home in Claremont, CA. His wife found his body late last night. He was 46 years old.

Here’s an excerpt of Wallace discussing Infinite Jest and what drove him to write it during an interview with Valerie Stivers in the late 90s. It’s as resonant a statement today as it was then, and far more heartbreaking:

I wanted to do something sad. I think it’s a very sad time in America and it has something to do with entertainment. It’s not TV’s fault, It’s not [Hollywood’s] fault and it’s not the Net’s fault. It’s our fault. We’re choosing this. We are choosing to spend more time sneering at hype machines, [while still] being enmeshed in them, than we are living.

[My] secret pretension…I mean, every writer wants his book to change the world, but I guess I would like to know if the book moved people. I assume that the future the book talks about, while it might be amusing, wouldn’t be a fun future to live in. I think it would be nice if the book could maybe make people think about some of the choices we are making, about what we pay attention to and give power to, so maybe the future won’t be quite that…glittery but cold.

Mission accomplished, man. Wish you could’ve stuck around. The future still needed your help.

Saturday Slate: Skulls and Metal

Angel City citizens! Are you staring at your walls, absentmindedly chewing pen caps and wondering what ever shall be done this Saturday night? In addition to a trusty Cemetery Screening, I have two evening suggestions for the restless.

For those with a keen interest in criminal psychology, history, grave-robbing or phrenology, The Machine Project hosts a free [yes, free] lecture by Colin Dickey titled Cranioklepty: A History of Phrenological Graverobbing.

With the rise of phrenology, the early 19th century saw a host of bizarre grave robberies, in which the graves of famous men were plundered for their owners’ skulls. Both scientific curiosities and morbid fetishes, the skulls became subject to extended legal battles between religious and secular authorities over who owns these remains, while phrenologists continued to study them for visible proof of genius.

I would be attending tonight, hammer and pick in eager hand, if it weren’t for a previous engagement. Which brings us to the other event sure to rock you right out of your knickers. If you share my secret penchant for melodic death metal, tonight is yours. Sonata Arctica will open for Nightwish at the wonderfully deco Wiltern theatre and tickets are still available, somehow. I’ll be there in my blackest black, summoning my inner darque viking. Finnish metal forevuhh!

Watch:

WEAM, Home of The Rocking Machine

The WEAM. Does the name ring a bell? No? No, probably not. But it’s one of the more captivating gems I found on a recent visit to Miami, Florida. Buried within that pastel deco tourist wasteland is an unassuming glass entryway with a small sign and a nude statue in the window, a table with some brochures, and an elevator. I happened to see the statue and sign as I was walking by on my way to somewhere else, and was just intrigued enough to drag my companions into that elevator for a peek.

What we found was an unattractively-lit foyer and a high entry fee. Too curious to back down now, I insisted on checking it out so pay we did and in we went. The place was enormous and filled with art and artifacts. “Curated” would not be the right word to describe this haphazard cacophony of objects, arranged on shelves, in glass cases, on pedestals and hanging on every inch of wall space. There were some two dozen rooms and nooks, sort of arranged by place and theme but not really. There are French caricatures, offensive “African primitive” cartoons, horrible paint-by-number nude portraits, serious carvings and phallic sculptures, paintings by many amateurs that seem to be included only because they feature boobies, fetish posters from the ’80s, glass dildos, naughty mechanical sex-themed snuff boxes, a giant four poster bed whose four posts are GIANT PHALLI OVER A FOOT IN DIAMETER… I could go on.

The real treasure, totally unexpected and unadvertised, is located toward the end of the museum. We’d plodded through each of the 20 or so rooms, examining the motley collection of objects erotic, repulsive, curious and hilarious… we were starting to feel fatigued and pressed for time… and then there it was.

The fibreglass rock-a-penis. The very same gleaming white sculpture,
called “The Rocking Machine” featured in A Clockwork Orange. I was
standing face to balls with it. Literally six inches away from it in
all its smooth, shiny glory.

Total. Wholesale. Nerdgasm. Meltdown.

…It’s not for sale. I asked.

(Dejected by this, I turned to the internet, which had happier news for me: Herman Makkink’s famous kinetic sculpture has been recast in a “limited edition” (of a reproduction?) and can be had via his website. I know you’ll sleep better knowing this.)

Setting Sail in the Flickr Ocean: Vorfas

How does one raise their flag in the flickr ocean and have it be seen in the midst of all those images? There is just so much to sift through in this ever-growing collection of work! Nature photography, self portraiture, explicit sexual imagery, thousands of kitten photos [403,430 at the moment, to be exact] and more, always more. There are a few streams I’ve been following since joining the site two years ago, and I believe they deserve your attention, starting with Vorfas.

This young photographer’s experiments in digital are endlessly entertaining to watch. On parade are mermaids, noir vixens, a circus you’ll want to run away with and a vast collection of self portraits. The  platinum-haired beauty captures herself as silent starlet, dominatrix, bubbly pinup and disgruntled nymphette among a long cast of characters. It has been fascinating to see Vorfas’ work progress from portraiture to the surreal and narrative. Perhaps an overactive imagination can be blamed for some of my reaction, but nothing looks like just a pretty picture anymore. There’s a little universe behind each of these frames that beckons to keep watching.

More Vorfas awaits, after the jump!

Brian M. Viveros: Smokin’ Hot


Evil-Last, new painting by pinup artist Brian Viveros

Arist Brian M. Viveros has the “don’t mess with me” girl-with-a-cigarette pinup down to a science. So many dense fetish permutations, so little time! Here’s helmet + goggle + octopus + tentacle marks. Or: eyepatch + band-aid + mickey mouse ears + fetish gear. Etc. The transparency of the source material is at times a bit distracting (i.e. this obviously came from this), but the images remain fun nevertheless.

I imagine a young Brian coming face-to-face with the cover of Tank Girl: Apocalypse, and just being scarred (in a good way) for life. Or an alternate-universe, born-50-years-too-early Viveros going off to war and ignoring the pinups that the other soldiers were so crazy about, jacking off to the U.S. Department of Public Health-issued pamphlets instead. Inspiration is where you find it!

See also: