This common-sense guide to the heterosexual lifestyle may help you come to grips with the strange, repressed feelings that have been haunting you since puberty. Reading it opened my eyes and made me love myself for who I am. Someone gave me this flyer a few years ago on campus, and, as a public service, I now pass it on to all of you. May it help to guide you in your internal struggle.
When they’re not busy getting butthurt by cartoons or teddy bears, radical Muslim-types rather like spending their time suing employers into compliance with their totally voluntary dress-code. Case in point:
Left: Bushra Noah. Right: Sarah Des Rosiers and Wedge staff.
Sarah Des Rosiers, owner of alternative hair salon Wedge, has been ambushed with a frivolous lawsuit by one Bushra Noah on grounds of religious discrimination, after dismissing Noah from a trial position at her hair salon. You see, Noah, a self-described ‘devout’ Muslim, didn’t think it was important to mention in her telephone interview that she wore a headscarf, even though she admits that this is the reason she believes she had been turned down for hair-styling jobs in the past. Needless to say, when she rocked up to work she was requested to uncover her hair while at the salon, but she refused on grounds that it was ‘immodest’.
That’s right. A hairdresser who finds uncovered hair immoral.
Having been turned down by no less than twenty-five other salons, presumably for the same reason, Noah decided she’s had enough and set about destroying the business that Des Rosiers had poured her soul into.
What follows is one of the sexiest commercials I have ever seen. May not be work-safe depending on where you work, but there’s no nudity.
There’s also another ad in this series, but the one above is the one that truly stands out. This ad caused a predictable amount of discomfort for the conservatives, but what’s more interesting is the debate it sparked amongst people interested in queer/gender theory. When the word “hir” gets used, you know it’s Serious Business! Love it.
Last week, there was some great discussion here at Coilhouse about spotting interesting people based on personal style cues. No one trusts a haircut anymore, so everyone’s searching for something more subtle and specific; as Mike Jennings writes in the comments, “for example, anyone wearing jewelry featuring taxidermy supplies is probably going to be someone with whom I can have more than a passing conversation.” In the corporate world, ties can say a lot. If I see a guy or gal wearing a tie like the Cyberoptix one above at a business meeting, I know what’s up. Come to think of it, these days strict power suits can say a lot.
More to the point, I’ve found that one quick, reliable way to figure out if someone is on the same wavelength is to figure out if they’re into squids, octopi and tentacles. I’ve yet to figure out why or how this litmus test works so well, but it does. If someone’s eyes light up when the word “tentacles” is mentioned, chances are they’re my kinda person. Does anyone else find that this is the case? If so, why this, out of all possible things? Maybe it’s because tentacles quickly recall so many different facets of What Made Us Weird; Lovecraft, Japanese culture, a love for all things “alien-looking.” And it’s not like I obsess over tentacles on a daily basis, they’re not my favorite thing in the world, but somehow they’re just so handy in identifying people, like some sort of secret code word we all agreed on in our sleep. Or is it just me? What is about those things?
* Yes, I know that octopi don’t really have tentacles but “arms.”
Back in July, the American “underground/alternative” mall chain Hot Topic announced that it was rebranding, abandoning The Dark Path for a brighter, more inclusive ambiance. CNN Money covered a consumer conference where Hot Topic CEO James McGinty had the following to say:
“Based on feedback from our customers and changes in the [apparel] industry, we’re changing the look of our stores… people were telling us that the stores were too dark, gothic and intimidating to the average customer.”
The big question is this: what is this a sign of? Should we mourn the old, dark Hot Topic or piss on its grave?
“They call their series Exactitudes: a contraction of exact and attitude. By registering their subjects in an identical framework, with similar poses and a strictly observed dress code, Versluis and Uyttenbroek provide an almost scientific, anthropological record of people’s attempts to distinguish themselves from others by assuming a group identity. ” - Exactitudes Website
These pictures go a long way to remind me that no matter how individualistic people think they are with their clothes and makeup, in the end we are all divided into relatively homogeneous tribes. These dress codes, both on the street and on MySpace, make it easy to find new friends – or at least they used to. When I was younger, if I saw green-haired girl with weird jewelry on the train, I could easily strike up a conversation on basis of common interests. I’ve met a lot of friends that way. These days, that’s not the case. I’ve met freaky-looking people who had nothing in common with me, and I’ve met people dress completely “normal” who turned to be some of the most unique individuals I’ve ever known. People dress a certain way in order to send social cues to each other about common interests, but now with the Avril Lavigne generation, “alternative” cues that used to mean a lot don’t mean nearly quite as much.
It’s still possible to meet new friends in cities while simply walking down the street, but it’s a lot more tricky than it was when I was 15. Either I’ve changed, or social norms have changed, or both. Now, I pay attention more to what people are holding in their hands, what type of facial expression they have, what they’re reading, rather than their hair color or makeup. How do you find friends in the crowd?
Thaw by Caryn Drexl
Later it is the air she will remember. The sharpness of it as she inhaled: crisp like paper. She could have been breathing paper. There was a rush of sound, like a train passing, or maybe like she was the train. Thick colors swirled and time became molasses as her legs slowly tumbled around behind her and then over her head… She was the blob of paint spreading thinly every which way, spindling in all directions, pulled flat, slow and hard. That was how she tumbled and then time caught up with itself and she dropped. - Bridge suicide scene from Amanda Davis’ “Circling the Drain”
Being a human can be pretty scary when you become too aware of your flesh. This is especially true if you’re a woman. Photographer Caryn Drexl knows it, and isn’t afraid to show that in the most visceral way.
To me, many of these images are about profound loss; loss of the feeling that you were once normal and whole, a feeling that we had as children and gradually traded for the good and the bad that comes with the desire to reshape yourself to fit certain beauty ideals. I suggest going through Drexl’s entire portfolio in one sitting and paying attention to the image titles. It’s like taking a journey through some gnarled dark woods, with Drexl’s sense of humor shining through like sunlight through the branches. Drexl has a remarkable power to use motifs that I’d thought had lost all their magic, such as dolls, broken glass and tears, to provoke a real reaction. With all the misuse of such themes in alt photography, I never thought that seeing them would impact me again - but it has. Drexl comes from a pure place and it seems to me like she never uses an object in a photo unless there’s a compelling personal reason.
Drexl uses herself as a model in many of the pictures, and writes in her bio, “I consider myself an artist the internet made.”
More of my favorite images, after the jump. Thanks for the tip, Megumi!
I’m lucky to have not one but two Russian grandmas. Every so often I crawl out of my home, cursing and half-blinded by unwelcome sunlight, shedding the paint-stained jumpsuit in exchange for something nice to pay a visit. Ever since the first drop of dye touched my hair maybe 13 years ago, I’ve been given the business. This, I imagine, is something many of us share, the nagging question, the hovering “When”. When will you go back to your natural hair color? When will you take out that lip ring? When will that ink wash off your skin? WHEN WHEN WHEN. I’ve tried asking myself too but the answer always comes back the same - quite possibly never.
Age is slowly decreasing in importance even now. Research, life extension, better cosmetic surgery - our options are evolving. I’m not inspired by the plastic buffoons of Hollywood, instead I look to people I’ve actually met - take inventor, writer and wearer of many hats Tom Jennings for instance; a brilliant ageless creature, tattooed, pierced and stylish, striped socks and all. And what about Marchesa Luisa Cassati or Betsey Johnson or other people who overflow with creativity and, sequentially, vitality and remain outside the tired norm despite their age?
So how do we explain “never” and “there’s no reason to”? I can hardly explain the Internet, in fact most of my life is led in what seems to them like another plane of existence. Not a new question by any means, but how do we explain an entire culture, developed and thriving entirely outside of the elderly’s frame of reference? As a possible solution, I’m entertaining an idea of a full presentation with a laptop and a projector. A crash course on alternative culture. Will grandmas approve?
Repent, sinners! Haw! Haw! Haw!
Immoral links of interest under the cut.
Let the countdown begin!
Model: Licky Roxxx
Photographer: Rockee Lixxx
Children, you already know what eating too much candy does to your teeth, but do you know what snorting it does to your brain? It turns you into a fan of Jeffree Star’s music! So stay away from the stuff. It’s lethal. Try snorting peas and carrots instead.
