“God’s Away On Business” By Cookie Monster

I don’t know who is behind YouTube username cookiewaits but he/she realized at some point, something that had never occurred to me: Tom Waits really sounds like Cookie Monster sometimes. Almost to the point that, while watching this video, I though it was someone doing Waits’s song “God’s Away On Business” in a Cookie Monster voice. Turns out that, no, that’s Tom. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to this song the same way again.

Via Cynical-C

Calling All East Coast Beasties! COILHOUSE FUNDRAISING PARTY IN NYC. Sunday, August 21st.


GEMINI & SCORPIO Present: The Black & White & Red All Over Ball. (Flyer by Nadya & Nicole, inspired by Courtney Riot. Imagery courtesy of Helen White & Amelia Arsenic.)

For years and years and years, we’ve been talking about throwing an epic Coilhouse party in New York City. There’s a lot to celebrate: our vibrant family of East Coast-based Coilhouse contributors and compatriots, the four-year anniversary of the Coilhouse site, and, of course, the imminent release of Coilhouse Issue 06… which is gorgeous, by the way! (It’s visually unlike anything else we’ve attempted thus far. So much hard and occasionally heartrending work has been poured into this issue over the past year, by a big team of devoted staffers, contributors, interns and editors.)

In keeping with the distinct color scheme of Issue 06, and with a cheery nod to the slapdash, seat-o-the-pants times Coilhouse currently finds itself in, we’re calling our Coilbash The Black & White & Red All Over Ball. We are striving to make it the fanciest, most weird and wonderful costume ball of our career thus far. And, quite frankly, we’re not only hoping for, but counting on a healthy turnout, in spite of the short notice-ness. We really hope to see you there. It’s not just about the Benjamins. Honestly, we’re aching for a proper Big Apple shindig. We dearly want to meet and greet and hug the stuffing out of all our East Coast lovelies, and then maybe dance the night away, if that’s all right with you? We feel like it’s way past due.

With a little (actually a LOT) of help from our friends, we’ve been getting the word out, and lining up an incredible array of art and performance. Two dozen fabulous silent auction items have been donated by Coihouse featured artists, friends and contributors. We’ve locked down a lavish venue, and we’re ready to rock your socks off. HOLY SHIT. GUYS. LET’S DO THIS.

Please do read further for more details.


Our beautiful venue, the Red Lotus Room.

First of all, check out the space! We shall be getting our boogie on in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, at the sumptuous, sprawling, velvety Red Lotus Room, home of the legendary Shanghai Mermaid speakeasy. When Mer first sent out a big “CALLING ALL CARS” email to her NYC crew, several people recommended we get in touch with the lovely Juliette, who runs both the space and the speakeasy. Juliette is a kindred spirit for sure, deeply committed to DIY community and the arts. Asian lanterns and chandeliers, exposed wood beam ceilings, red velvet-draped walls… oh my!

Upon arrival at the Red Lotus Room, revelers will enter a secret, lush cabaret universe to an extravaganza of live music, dance and circus performances. Aerialists… fire… projec​tions… Dadaist spectacle… surprises galore. Dance to rollicking sets from DJ luminaries. Bid on silent auction items donated by longtime supporters and featured Coilhouse artists: a splendid array of autographed prints and books, and one-of-a-kind art objects. (PS: we’re working to see if we can’t arrange for this to be an international auction, to make things more interesting!) Mix and mingle with Coilhouse staff and family of longtime East Coast contributors, including Molly Crabapple, Clayton James Cubitt, and Jeff Wengrofsky. Angeliska Polacheck is even flying in from Austin for this! Plus, partygoers will get the first glimpse of Coilhouse Issue Six, and an opportunity to pre-order it at a discount. There will be tea ceremony, there will be booze, there will be belly dancers and cabaret, flaming poi and flying trapeze. Most of all, there will be a whole lotta love in the dang room, because the night of August 21st is all about Coilhouse celebrating its birthday, and most importantly, its community.

So, yes. As you can see, the space is amazing. Then there’s the phenomenal party production team, Gemini & Scorpio, who are presenting the evening’s festivities. G&S have stepped up in the most gobsmackingly incredible way to help us to list, promote, organize, cat-herd and co-curate this shindig.  Run by “two artsy New York City gals and creators of G&S’ Fabulous Guide to Online Dating (old, but useful!)” our cherished and generous G&S team are: “Smart, creative, funky and different, just like the people we are here to meet. Our email list spreads the word on underground happenings in NYC you’d otherwise never hear about, and our own–sometimes unbelievable–parties bring our thousands-strong creatives’ community offline.” Holy macaroni, they’re badass.

With their help, combined with the counsel and kindness of our dear friend Shien Lee of Dances of Vice (be sure to scroll down and take note of the DoV/Coilbash two-event deal!), and the wisdom of the aforementioned Juliette and Shanghai Mermaid, we have been able to reach further and deeper into the NYC underground than we ever could on our own from way over here in sunny Cali. Our lionhearted comrade and champion, Molly Crabapple, has also been helping out tremendously with backline support. In the midst of all of this last-minute chaos, whenever we take a brief moment to catch our breath, we feel like we’re swooning in the outpouring of love, support and advice we’ve received from all of these women, their extended networks, and beyond. (Thank you, lovely ladies. THANK you, thank you, thank you. We can never say it enough. We are so darn grateful to all of you.)

With their help, and in cahoots with countless other members of da ‘Haus’s own extensive tribe in NYC (who will undoubtedly be getting a ton of blog shout-outs and love over the next few weeks), we’ve been able to confirm a lot of fantastic talent over the past couple of days, with more acts to be added over the next week. Here’s the current roster:


Kim Boekbinder. Photo by Marianne Bijou.


Franz Nicolay. Photo by Konstantin Sergeyev.


Brian Viglione. Photo by Ethan Miller.


The Fishtank Ensemble (Promo photo.)

MUSIC: Kim Boekbinder (Vermillion Lies) Our beloved genre-defying songstress of murderous waltzes and epic pop ballads will woo us with voice, guitar, looping pedal and a bag full of mystery. In Coilhouse’s review of her album The Impossible Girl, Mer described her as  “a bravely vulnerable, electrifying lightning rod of a woman.” She is all that and more. The wondrous Fishtank Ensemble (fellow Californians who just happen to be in NYC this week) will give us a blissful, heartmelting, booty-shakin’ dose of their signature blend of Roma, Serbian, flamenco, manouche, Turkish and Greek music, plus original compositions! Franz Nicolay (World Inferno, Hold Steady, Guignol) is a dashing moutsachioed multi-instrumentalist, composer, and the hardest working boho-accordionist in NYC. Brian Viglione (Dresden Dolls, World Inferno, Gentlemen & Assassins), who will be providing us with an assortment of unfettered, theatrical DRUM SOLOS throughout the evening, is an energetic, expressive, percussive powerhouse. Thomas Negovan, bless his beautiful heart, is flying all the way from Chicago to give us a delicious taste of occult-tinged, erotic, 1920s cabaret songcraft. Kelvin Daly, builder of unique musical instruments, will favor us with mysterious and elegant performances. Theremina (yes, that’s Mer’s stage name, shhh!) will humbly provide a wee bit of wistful, theremin-drenched ambient music to sway and swoon to. Ooo, and then there are the DJs! Wengrofsky – Scrappy and eclectic vinyl wizardry. PUREVILE! – Sets of new wave, dark glam, new romantic from the co-founder of DISKO NOUVEAUX.


Sarah Hassan


Sky Claudette. Photo by Jeffrey Grossman.


Our ringmaster, SF SLIM. Photo by Jacob Appelbaum.

DANCE/CABARET: Our darling, delicious blog contributor, Sarah Hassan, will be taking the stage as a Bellow Dancer & Bedouin Showgirl. Paige & Ahnika (recently ‘Haused here) will provide a set of electrifying, emotive, empowering belly dance. LeRoi Prince is bringing us a bit of Weimar drag/burlesque genderfuckery with swagger and class. Liron & Daly, a bewitching husband and wife team, will give us aerials performed to live musical accompaniment. Eros Fyre – Sky & Vlad will perform feats of fire magick. Ian Baker of Interpretive Arson will be bringing out the fire rope dart. Our Master of Ceremonies is the one and only SF SLIM. Slim’s been a friend of ours for years; he’s a charming collaborative culture evangelist and a nattily-dressed Joy-Facilitator who “eats concepts and makes things”. We’re overjoyed that he’s agreed to be our ringmaster, in addition to helping out behind the scenes.


Muffinhead! Photo by Gabi Porter.


Some of Empire S.N.A.F.U.’s unsettling art.


PUREVILE!

MISCELLANEOUS SPECTACLE & ODDITY: Some sort of gorgeously unsettling, as-of-yet-determined “art incident” courtesy of EMPIRE S.N.A.F.U will occur. S.N.A.F.U. is “a feverish visual and theatrical mélange of dystopian technology, sexual obsolescence, and implied religion,” painstakingly assembled from a vast and unsettling assortment of found materials. Muffinhead – Lavishly costumed, colorful performance absurdist; a spectacular cartoon imaginary made real. The PUREVILE! girls – Exquisite living dolls unearthed from some great-great-auntie’s steamer trunk, bedecked in bespoke post-apocalyptic Victorian finery. Three-minute theremin lessons from Mer, if you’re game to make some woo-woo noises. AND! Last but not least, a Black & White & Red All Over Photo Booth.

SILENT AUCTION. Items will include art donated by Diamanda Galas, Molly Crabapple, Jessica Joslin, Paul Komoda, Jason Levesque & Xeni Jardin, Century Guild, Disinfo, PUREVILE!, Kate O’Brien, Nicole Aptekar, and Asha Beta. There will also be a full set of the out-of-print, highly collectible back-issues of Coilhouse (Issues 1-5).

COSTUME SUGGESTIONS: Sharp curves in black and white and red, in keeping with the German Expressionist/Bauhau​s/Constructivist color palette of the upcoming Coilhouse print issue. Think decadent Weimar, 1920s Soviet Union, Klaus Nomi, origami-inspired, architectural, Metropolis, or De Stijl fashion. Polar Bear & Penguin? Nun in red fishnets! Valentine’s Day Zebra. Vampire and Midnight Snack. Anything in the color scheme goes, as long as you GO FOR IT.

VIP TICKETS: Donations over $30 will grant patrons 5 pm admission for an East-meets-West tea service, and first access to the silent auction. The tea service will be from 5-7. Enjoy live acoustic music and crackling wax-cylinder ambiance, private salon performances, and cozy conversation with Coilhouse co-founding editors Nadya Lev and Meredith Yayanos. Depending on donation level, there are many goodies to be had! VIP pricing structure is as follows:

  • $30 Coilhouse buttons + stickers + baubles
  • $50 Coilhouse buttons + stickers + Coilhouse I/I/I coffee mug
  • $75 Coilhouse buttons + stickers + plus codes for DRM-free, high res PDF downloads of Coilhouse out-of-print back issues 1-5 + Coilhouse laptop vinyl.
  • $100 All of the above + limited edition “Interstellar Vanguard” print by Zoetica Ebb. (Print exclusive to this tier.)
  • $150 Everything in $75 gift bag + free pre-order of upcoming Issue Six print mag + a signed one-of-a-kind magazine proof from a past issue of Coilhouse.
  • $200 All of the above + second printer’s proof + a trip to the COILBOX to pick out a final “mystery merch” item worth $30 – $50
  • $300 All of the above + acknowledgment in print Issue 07 as a Coilhouse Print Patron + personalized thank-you card from Nadya Lev and Meredith Yayanos.

GENERAL ADMISSION. The main event starts at 7:00 and goes until midnight. Entrance is $15.

Admission to the main party event is included with all VIP tea service and salon tickets.

SPECIAL DEAL FOR DANCES OF VICE ATTENDEES! The DoV Enchantment Under the Sea Dance is happening on Saturday, August 20th. Why not make a cross-pollinating, bohemian art and culture blow-out of the whole weekend? We’ve teamed up with Shien and Co. to offer a special ticket to those who attend both events. For $25, you can be a guest at both parties. This will gain you general admission entrance to both events.

LOCATION. Red Lotus Room. 893 Bergen (between Classon and Franklin). It’s a wee bit off the beaten path, but hey, aren’t we all?! There is a subway stop close by, and we’re arranging to have some clear (and possibly quite entertaining) signposts up for all folks coming by public transit from the train station to the venue.

WHAT NOW? All that’s left is for you to buy tickets and RSVP! See you there, loves.

Friday Afternoon Apathy

No Friday Afternoon Movie today. Instead, we present Jon Lajoie’s hip hop tribute to not giving a fuck. It is absolutely vital that you watch this right now (with headphones if you’re at work as it’s full of dirty, work-inappropriate language). The FAM will return next week. Promise.

Hello! I’m Shelley Duvall.

When the internet was created, those involved most likely imagined a vast network where ideas could be shared across great expanses. Where great minds could come together to work on the most fundamental questions of human existence. Instead, here’s a video of Shelley Duvall, star of The Shining, introducing herself in almost the exact same way twenty four times. It is both maddening and hypnotic. Gaze upon its banal majesty and weep for what might have been.

(Also, let me just say, that this is, perhaps, the most terrifying thing one could hear upon entering a graveyard.)

Alex Jones And The Clockwork Elves

Every once in a while I like to check in on Alex Jones, just to see how he’s doing. The man lives in a very dangerous world, you understand. Far more dangerous than the sphere that you and I inhabit. Crazy shit goes down on a daily basis in Jones’s ‘hood, so I just stop by every now and then to make sure that his head hasn’t exploded or, at the very least, to witness his head exploding.

There could not have been a better time. Truly, this is some of the man’s finest work. It’s got everything a conspiracy could ask for: government cover-ups, drug use, Philip K. Dick and elves. It’s awe-inspiring stuff. The gist is that powerful old men, who may or may not be ruling the world, are jacked up on the powerful hallucinogen dimethyltryptamine (DMT). Under the effects of the drug, they have come into contact with beings Jones’s claims they refer to as “clockwork elves” who instructed them to enslave humanity and build the Large Hadron Collider.

Now, Jones insists that he does not believe this (probably…maybe) and that this is “pretty David Icke”. He wants you to know that he doesn’t talk about this stuff because it would blow your mind. But he also knows that you need to know these things. You need to be aware because, as mentioned, Alex Jones lives in a pretty dangerous world and, with his help, you can too.

Man vs. Box

As the Japanese continue their misguided forays into the fields of robotics and artificial intelligence, we can, no doubt, expect to see more scenarios like the one played out here, in this video. What chance does a human being stand against the cold, steel mind of the insidious Machine? If a man can’t even flip a switch in peace in the presence of one of these things, what hope is there for our future?

This is what happens when our creations rebel. This will be the end of us.

The Friday Afternoon Movie: Everything Will Be Ok

I cannot definitively say that, as the title suggests, everything will be ok. It is all together possible and, perhaps, probable — depending on your bent — that everything will not be ok. That’s not what this is about. No, this post is about Everything Will Be Ok, Don Hertzfeldt’s award-winning short, which celebrated its 5th Anniversary last month. The first of a planned trilogy (the last of which is set to be released this year), Everything Will Be Ok follows the story of a man named, simply, Bill. We see Bill awkwardly greet a man he recognizes on the street, Bill at home, Bill spending time with his ex-girlfriend, Bill having a dream about a giant fish head, eating away at his skull. Its a story that concerns itself mostly with pseudo-existential shoe-gazing, filtered through the twisted mind of the man who brought us Rejected, and it is wonderful.

Trails Of Tarnation

Black Coffee: Chapter 1 of Trails of Tarnation from New Picture Agencies on Vimeo.

From Nicholas Gurewitch, cialis sale creator of The Perry Bible Fellowship comes Trails of Tarnation, recounting the travels and travails of Jeff and Derek. In this inaugural episode, entitled “Black Coffee”, Derek instructs Jeff on the proper way to brew that most holy of morning beverages with unintended consequences.

Handle With Care

It wasn’t even the deliveryman’s use of profanity that bothered Joanne. No, she had endured plenty of course language in her time (and used a fair bit herself for that matter). What really irked her was his indifference to her protests over the state of the package he asked her to sign for. Indifference was, perhaps, a misnomer. So smug was his bearing that Joanne had no doubts that the man had interpreted the “Fragile” stickers that festooned the box as “Kick Me” signs. She was sure he had done this on purpose and when he spat “Go ahead, call the goddamn office if it makes you feel better,” in response to her indignant threat it only made that conviction stronger. This miserable little man, unshaven and reeking of cigarettes, obviously got his kicks by torturing customers. No doubt he was a member of some awful labor union, and felt safe in the knowledge that this offense was just another in a long line of similar incidents that would go unpunished. This time would be different, however. His employer may have been rendered impotent by socialists but Joanne had no such impediment. This man was about to learn that no one fucks with the Pink Armadillo and walks away unscathed.

It would be a lesson he would not soon forget.

Alternative Retirement Spaces


Proposed architectural designs for Boom, a 100-acre alternative retirement space.

via Coolhunting:

What began as an innovative project for LGBT retirees seeking refuge from cookie-cutter approaches to conventional retirement has evolved into something much more ambitious. More than 100 acres in the Mojave Desert will soon be the site of a $250 million idea, bringing together 10 architectural firms from five countries to succeed where so many fail by reclaiming shared community spaces that invite pedestrians and casual interactivity among neighbors.

Located near Palm Springs, California—an area known for perennial sunshine and wide-open spaces—Boom will cater to outdoor living with pedestrian pathways and communal spaces, as well as eateries, wellness centers and shops. Living spaces include private homes, assisted living and a nursing home. Each separate development will differ as the individual architects are being given free reign to realize their ideas of livability, adding diversity to the common goal of functionality and livability.

Another exciting facet to the project is that the Boom community already exists in virtual space. Participants can brainstorm and create a shared vision with the developers and architects in these early stages when the buildings are still rendered lines in an AutoCAD program.

…the overarching idea is a space where denizens celebrate life with each other rather than retreat into isolation that so many other modern developments ultimately foster—as lead designer Matthias Hollwich from HWKN explained to his fellow architects, “Boom has to be about living, not retiring, about inclusion and not seclusion.”

Nursing homes can be a scary place. Being stuck in high school was a horrible experience for many of us. It sucked because you were grouped with a bunch of people you had nothing in common with, simply because you were all teenagers. Being in a conventional nursing home is probably similar, except you’re all old and don’t have the prospect of escaping into adult life to look forward to. Perhaps that’s an overly depressing way of looking at it. But according to a recent survey in the UK, more people “fear losing independence in old age than death.” Perhaps being in a nursing home that’s part of a community in line with your interests wouldn’t be so bad. As a friend recently said, “anything that there’s currently a cruise for, there will one day be a retirement community for.” Well, there’s a goth cruise. A rave cruise. One day, there will probably be a Burner/hippe retirement community, with dreadlocked 70-year-olds listening to psy-trance.

Some questions: in the event that you could no longer live on your own, what kind of people do you want to spend your twilight years with? Would you rely on the family you make in the world to create this kind of space? Would you join in a retirement community based on common interests, like hacking/period costuming/witchcraft/polyamory/sci-fi? What would the day-to-day activities in this place be like, in an ideal world? What do you envision really uniting you with people as you get older, as opposed to things that turn out to be passing interests?