This kid is grimmer than you will ever be:

Nothing says Malevolent Psychopomp of Satan quite like a pair of Reebok high-tops. Unless it’s biker shorts. Or a puffy ponytail.

I quail before his magnificence. It’s no wonder that cop took one look at the proceedings and tucked tail.

Sadly, little is known of the circumstances and origins of this clip. The YouTuber who uploaded it says “I got this randomly placed on a tape a dude sent me once. I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on here, as in where the rest of the band is.”

Band schmand. This guy doesn’t need backup. Whatever his solo rendition of “KILL EVERYONE” may lack in instrumentation (or tonality, or lyricism), it more than makes up for in conviction. Plus, he’s got the entire audience providing the chorus for his instant club hit, “I HATE EVERYONE”.

Hail.

It’s been what, a couple weeks since we last mentioned how fantastic Archive.org is? Just in time for Halloween, here’s another choice bit o’ public domain from their vaults:

Click Teh Debbil (performed by Häxan director Benjamin Christensen himself!) to be taken to the downloading page.

Häxan (a.k.a. The Witches or Witchcraft Through The Ages) is a lavishly strange Swedish/Danish silent film which, upon its release in 1922, received critical acclaim in its homeland and moral outrage just about everyone else, thanks to the many graphic depictions of nudity, torture and sexual depravity. Yum! An inspired mixture of documentary and lurid dramatization, it wouldn’t be too far off the mark to name Häxan as one of cinema’s first “shockumentaries”.

For all its butts and boobies and devils, Häxan is actually quite a rational study of how superstition and medieval ignorance of mental illness led to the the hysteria of the European witch hunts. Director and writer Benjamin Christensen plotted much of the film around his personal study and criticism of the infamous Malleus Maleficarum, a 15th century German guide for inquisitors. You can see echoes of Christensen’s blunt, cavalier, often darkly humorous first-person narrative style in the documentaries of Werner Herzog. Luis Buñuel applauded its fractured “WTF is going on” cue-less edits.

In addition to being a bit of a mindfuck, much of the film’s imagery is just drop dead stunningly beautiful. From the Criterion release feature notes:

Under any title and with any modifications, Häxan endures because of Christensen’s tremendous skill with lighting, staging, and varying of shot scale. The word “painterly” comes to mind in watching Christensen’s ingeniously constructed shots, but it is inadequate to evoke the fascination the film exerts through its patterns of movement and its narrative disjunctions. Christensen is at once painter, historian, social critic, and a highly self-conscious filmmaker. His world comes alive as few attempts to recreate the past on film have.

Apparently, there was a version released in 1967 that featured a narration by William S. Burroughs and a jazzy score led by percussionist Daniel Humair and featuring violinist Jean-Luc Ponty. Any of you guys happen to have a copy of that?

Um. Remember not too long ago when I was going on about how edgy and alt Nutella is, sildenafil and asserting that peanut butter is boring by comparison?

I take it all back:

When Smuckers met Olivier de Sagazan.

The Skinemax-worthy soundtrack makes this infinitely more disturbing. Not to mention the plastic wrap.

Via our beloved Siege, whose curatorial instincts sometimes jump the track from sharing sublime beauty to just wanting us all to cry and punch ourselves repeatedly in the netherbits until they shrivel up and fall off. (He has proven this on multiple occasions.)

Various works by sculptor John T. Unger.

John T. Unger is a fabulously inventive artist, environmentalist, writer, small business owner and the creator of copyrighted sculptural Artisanal Firebowls. He crafts his wares with primarily recycled or re-used materials, designing for permanency and functionality. His work has been featured on Etsy, BoingBoing, Neatorama, and by Craft Magazine, Variety and VenusZine, to name only a few.

Right now Unger’s mired in what he has dryly referred to as “an unwanted education in copyright law” and boy, does it sound like FUN!  Unger, who obtained legal copyright a while back to protect his original sculptures from piracy, says a man by the name of Rick Wittrig, owner of FirePitArt.com, has not only begun manufacturing and selling products which are extremely similar to Unger’s, but has even gone so far as to bring a federal lawsuit against Unger to have the copyrights for Unger’s own original artwork overturned.

Repeating for emphasis: Unger is being copyright-sued by a guy who makes knockoffs of his own work. Wooo!

Fire bowl, mask, and “fire imp” figurines by John T. Unger.

Attempts at settlement have failed. Unger, who has already spent $50,000 fighting against Wittrig, says that “seeking a judicial ruling in federal court will cost more than any artist or small business can afford on its own”, yet the lawsuit continues to move forward. Apparently, Wittrig has money to burn, so to speak. Unger isn’t taking it lying down:

A life in the arts is all I have ever really wanted. After more than 20 years of working towards that goal I have achieved success… It isn’t easy to make it as an artist and I didn’t have a lot of initial support. When I started my art business as a full time occupation I was homeless, $20,000 in debt, and had few tools but a laptop. I joke that “I did it with nothing, because nothing is free,” but there’s truth in this… I built what I have now from the ground up because I was passionate enough to keep doing the work no matter what else happened.

I don’t understand why a person would fight as hard as Mr. Wittrig has to profit from the work of another. It baffles me because I have devoted my life to making things which are unique and to marketing them as unique items crafted from a detailed personal philosophy. I don’t view original artwork as a commodity. I have no interest in imitation. If he had spent the time, energy and money that has gone into this lawsuit on designing original work, with its own story and its own unique appeal there would be plenty of room for both of us to succeed on our own merits.

Guys, I realize it’s important to pick one’s battles carefully in life. This might seem like an oddly piddling skirmish for me to throw in on, but honestly, supporting an artist like Unger is at the heart of why I got involved in an online community like Coilhouse in the first place.

If Wittrig wins by outspending, Unger could lose everything. Not just the rights to his own designs, but his house and his studio as well… basically everything he’s been working toward for roughly a decade. But at the heart of it, this is not about financial loss or gain. This is about not letting a bully with a big wallet ruin a truly creative person’s reputation and credibility. When basic protections like these are overturned, it weakens the law for all artists.

We can help: spread the word and if you can afford to, donate a buck or two to Unger’s defense fund. If you have a bit more spending money on hand, check out his incredible, lovingly made fire pits or other pieces– the integrity and beauty of Unger’s work speaks for him better than any press release ever could.

Yes, yes. You’ve already seen blurbs about Machinarium all over the friggin’ bloggitysphere. But when a game this scrappy and adorable and smart and just painfully lovely pops up, we can’t not archive it here.

Amanita Design is the Czech indie game studio who brought the ‘wub those delightful point-and-click adventures, Samorost and Samorost 2. Aesthetically, their latest creation follows somewhat in Samorost‘s footsteps, but delves far deeper. For all its gorgeous visuals, ambiance, clever puzzles, and creaking, rusty robot action, what sets Machinarium apart and above other point-and-click games is its surprising depth. Such tenderness and subtlety, humor and intelligence!

This is worldbuilding of the highest caliber, with a compelling narrative that slowly unfolds as you play through, bringing Wall-E, Perdido Street Station and The City of Lost Children to mind in equal measure. No spoilers. Just click here, try out the demo, and you’ll understand why it might just be the best 17 bucks you spend all month.

Greetings, comrades. Coilhouse print issue #04 continues to slowly, lazily eat our brains with those dainty little egg spoons.

Here’s a funny cat meme to keep the tumbleweeds at bay:

O, the pathos!

By Mike Bates and Sean Dicken. (Via Gooby, thanks!)

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who have known the sweet, swooning rapture of a Nutella binge… and Skippy-on-Wonderbread eaters.

The former have created elaborate websites devoted to the spread, written effusive poetry, made Rihanna “Nutella-ella-ella” sendups and started Facebook groups declaring their love. The latter have a hollow, empty feeling inside that no amount of pasteurized peanut butter and spongey white bread can ever hope to fill.

Also see:

• Ferrero’s Dark Satanic Overlord
• DOOM COOKIES
• 25 Clips of Dogs Eating Peanut Butter

*This tenuously relevant post brought to you by a proofreading-induced brain embolism. (We’re in lockdown for print issue 04.)

On this glorious morn, waiting for a carafe of velvety, life-sustaining double black french roast to steep, this is exactly what I look like:

So wrong, yet so right. Like one of Siege’s exquisite Long Portraits, only in Bizarro world.

Uncanny isn’t it? We could very well be twins, Chris and I– separated at birth, but forever bonded on some bone-deep, intuitive level by our mutual love of awkwardly protracted silence and sensual mouth-breathing. The only real difference is, my tits are hairier.

Via DJ Dead Billy, who says “if only L RON would’ve delved into anime!” Think of the possibilities.

That cute and cuddly bearded fellow you’re watching in the above clip is none other Shoko Asahara, founder of Aum Shinrikyo (Supreme Truth), the infamous Japanese Buddhist/Christian cult obsessed with psychedelics, yoga and apocalypse. They’re now known as Aleph. Guess they felt like they had to change their name after receiving a smidge of bad press back in 1995, when a group of their members released sarin nerve gas into Tokyo’s subway system, killing twelve people and sending thousands more to the hospital.

Yeesh! Asahara with the Dalai Lama, sometime in the late 80s. This was a while before Aum Shinrikyo’s terrorist activities, kidnappings and murders started, mind you. The DL’s inner circle members was initially supportive of the cult’s bid for legal religious organization status, but later severed all ties. More recently, Asahara has been a vocal critic of the Dalai Lama and Tibetan Buddhism.

It’s worth noting that Aum’s previous deployment  of sarin gas on the central city of Matsumoto was officially the world’s first use of chemical weapons in a terrorist attack against civilians. Asahara was convicted of masterminding both attacks in addition to committing several other crimes, and sentenced to death. He’s now awaiting execution.

Check out this astounding stunt from the popular German game/entertainment program, Wetten, Das..? wherein three life-sized dinosaurs crash the party:

(Via Cathy Tree Harris, thanks!)

Okay, first things first, I think we can all agree that cuffed blue jeans are probably not the way to go when you’re wearing the most incredible baby T-Rex costume puppet ever friggin’ made in the history of EVAR. But still. Holy shit, right? Someone over at Geekologie sums up my own feelings about this clip quite well:

Let me tell you: when that [baby T-Rex] first came running out I thought it was CG. But it wasn’t. And neither were my 30 boners! My God, I’ve never wanted to be part of a live studio audience so bad in my life.

Seriously! Well, it turns out that if you live in the UK, US, Canada or any number of cities in Europe, you can have your Brachiosaurus and meet it, too. The dinos in that clip are only three of over 10 species featured in a spectacular live arena show spin-off of the cherished BBC series Walking With Dinosaurs. Creature designer Sonny Tilders and his crew used their extensive knowledge of puppetry arts and animatronics to bring these long-extinct giants back to life.

Coilhouse field trip, anyone?

(More photos and clips after the jump.)