You’ve already seen “Kittens Inspired by Kittens“, right?

NO?! YOU HAVEN’T LIVED. Just kidding. But still, watch that first. Then, watch this:

\m/

Mark Little of the notorious Canadian comedy troupe Picnicface takes you “deep into the flaming bowels of friendship”:

Thanks, order Melody!

SLUGWARS = FRIENDSHIP.

Howard Phillips Lovecraft. Born on this baleful day back in 1890. Portrait by Bruce Timm

“There are not many persons who know what wonders are opened to them in the stories and visions of their youth; for when as children we listen and dream, we think but half-formed thoughts, and when as men we try to remember, we are dulled and prosaic with the poison of life. But some of us awake in the night with strange phantasms of enchanted hills and gardens, of fountains that sing in the sun, of golden cliffs overhanging murmuring seas, of plains that stretch down to sleeping cities of bronze and stone, and of shadowy companies of heroes that ride caparisoned white horses along the edges of thick forests; and then we know that we have looked back through the ivory gates into that world of wonder which was ours before we were wise and unhappy.”

–from H.P. Lovecraft’s “Celephais”

Previously on Coilhouse:

• Read Any Good Books Lately?
• Cthulhu Meditation: Listen on Dry Land
• What Made Coilhouse Readers Weird
• Cthulhu: The Movie
• The Dunwich Horror: Sweet…. Horrendipity?
• Tentacle Love. Why?
• Jell-O Salad is Actually a Shoggoth
• Isabelle Adjani’s Got That Not So Fresh Feeling™

Few announcements could be as exciting for the devoted Metal connoisseur as the one made by Manowar, letting their loyal fans know that high quality, Giclée prints of Ken Kelly’s album artwork are now available for purchase. The video shows the the great attention to detail put into these prints, how they are able to reproduce the exquisite sheen on a slave-girl’s naked bosom, as well as showing you what they would look like hanging in your grandmother’s condo. Truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Who knew that, deep within Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights, an epic power metal ballad was waiting to be unleashed? Brazilian metal band Angra discovered this great truth in 1993, releasing the utterly deadpan cover above. There’s no music video to accompany the song, but I suggest syncing it up with Kate’s “white dress” version, below (as opposed to the “red dress” version for the American release – while also stunning, the facial expressions in it are more sane in a way that makes it pale in comparison). Kate Bush was 18 when she wrote the song, and had never read the book. She later read it, and discovered that she shares a birthday with Emily Brontë.

Previously in Amazing Music from Brazil: Secos e Molhados/Ney Matogrosso

Previously in Metuuuuuuul: \m/ Slayer Grandma \m/

[via Mildred Von]

Wheeeeeeee…

MY GOD IT’S FULL OF STARS. AND PINK POLYESTER.

The Unarius Academy of Science is a non-profit organization founded in in the mid 50s in California, with various cells still located throughout the United States as well as Canada, Japan, and Nigeria. Unarius is an acronym which stands for UNiversal ARticulate Interdimensional Understanding of Science. Founded by Ernest and Ruth Norman, Unarius espouses “a new interdimensional science of life based upon fourth dimensional physics principles.” Ernest Norman also believed that the Chinese “evolved from ancient interstellar migrants who began colonizing Mars a million years ago.” After being attacked by native humans, these interstellar migrants reportedly returned to Mars, where they now live in subterranean dwellings. In 2001, the Unarians were all supposed to fly away in a fleet of spaceships, but that doesn’t appear to have worked out so great for ’em. From Wiki:

From the period of 1954-1971, when Ernest Norman still controlled the organization, the organization defined “the mission” as the bringing in of the interdimensional science of life in the books channeled by Ernest Norman. In the period of 1972-1993, while Ruth Norman guided the organization, the organization experienced renewed growth and public awareness. “The mission” became bringing Unarius to the masses. Ruth Norman granted interviews, appeared on The Late Show […] and kept very up-to-date technologically with video productions and a studio built in the late 1970s when such equipment was still in its infancy. Unarius video productions began appearing on public access stations all over the United States…

…much to the delight of stoned and tripping teenagers nationwide. Watch their entire “educational” film, The Arrival, below.

Via Dusty, natch.

We gotta get this biddie, the feisty abuela from that “Will You Go To Prom With Me” video, those fire-building headbangers and DOOMCOCK to form a metal band. How brutal would that be? 8-Bit Slayer can open for them in this backyard. Refreshments provided by the Black Oven.

Fellow penny farthing enthusiasts, monsterbike worshippers and perusers of the absurd, prepare to pee thy pantaloons:

Thanks, Christopher!

That has to be the single most impractical, exhausting, adorable combination of bicycle components EVAR. His brass clown horn is the big honkin’ cherry on top.

Several more squee-making wackywheel-related items of possible interest:

• “Kinetic Conveyances of Whimsy” by Crank-Boom-Clank
• The Handcar Regatta
• The Two Penny by Todd Barricklow
• Ollie Erkkila‘s incredible bikes and motorcycles
• Cyclist goes around the world on a penny farthing

via DJ Dead Billy

Um. Is it just me, or is this Raffi-esque version of the classic Cannibal Corpse song markedly more unsettling the original?*

See also:

• Slayer Goes to Church
• Death Metal Rooster
• Aum Shinrikyo Anime Funtime
• St Sanders Does KISS
• 8-Bit “Angel of Death”

*My sense of unease deepens as I realize that the overdub also sounds remarkably like Interpol. What the fuck, internet.

photo by Mark Bult

Dio has rocked for a very long time. But today, after a battle with stomach cancer, the fierce, elfin, deeply intelligent lead singer and driving creative force of legendary bands like Black Sabbath, Rainbow, and Heaven and Hell has left us, aged 67.

At a time like this, it would be all-to-easy to start spouting lyrics from any number of his epic songs: “Rainbow in the Dark” or “Man From the Silver Mountain” or “Lord of the Last Day” or “Holy Diver”. The man’s narrative scope was outright otherworldly. And yet, Dio was as beloved by family, friends and fans for his down-to-earth openness as for those mythic anthems. So instead of keening and wailing, let’s share a moment of grateful silence, accompanied by a ritualistic throwing of the horns (the ubiquitous headbangin’ hand gesture Dio himself popularized), and send our brave warrior on his way.

Rest In Peace, Ronnie James Dio. July 10, 1942 – May 16, 2010.