Stay Classy, Kenneth Cole

“Walking around SOMA, we find this little gem. Stay classy Kennith Cole.” [via Flickr]

Earlier today, Kenneth Cole twatted, “Millions are in uproar in #Cairo. Rumor is they heard our new spring collection is now available online at -KC.” After a massive Twitter outcry, Cole hastily scrubbed the tweet and attempted to backpedal. “I’ve dedicated my life to raising awareness about serious social issues,” claimed the designer in a two-sentence apology on Facebook, admitting that posting the tweet as unarmed protesters in Cairo were getting shot was, perhaps, “poorly timed.”

However, this morning at 2 AM, San Francisco residents spotted this mysterious and super professional-looking decal on the window of Kenneth Cole’s SOMA location.

Are any Coilhouse readers in other cities perhaps encountering similar window displays at Kenneth Cole store locations? If so, please send pictures. We will gladly update this post with images of Kenneth Cole storefronts from around the US.

Infant Aerobics?


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via Disinformation

Whaddaya reckon? Real or fake? Either way, it certainly filled my Involuntary Horrified Shrieking Laughter of the Damned quotient for the day. Gah…

You win this round, internet. Walking away now.

BTC: Scattin’ Jazz Cat


Play it out, Scattin’ Cat…

(With a little help from Lester Young and company.)

Via Mildred. Long may she reign.

See also:

“This is Chriiiiiiistmas. We gonna have lots of seeex.”

Um. Sincere apologies in advance. Rest assured, gentle readers, that a spirited internal debate raged for several hours about whether or not to abuse Coilhouse with this festive nonsense. But hey, ’tis the season, after all.

(Safe for work if you’re on headphones. Maybe.)

via Siege (of course) and CheatEngine.

The Assassination Of Yogi Bear By The Coward BooBoo

The new live-action Yogi Bear movie is a thing that exists, of that fact there is no doubt and, unfortunately, no escape. Were it to end in the manner depicted here by Edmunde Earl, as a darkly humorous ode to the penultimate scene from 2007’s under-appreciated The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, it might have at least some modicum of value. This is, of course, not the case and we are left with the reality that, as previous mentioned, there is a live-action Yogi Bear movie. Starring Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake.


BTC: Season’s Greetings From Twin Peaks


Via Melissa Gira Grant.

Does anyone who watched Twin Peaks while it was airing on ABC remember this weird-ass stop motion bumper? So random.

…and now I’m craving pie and coffee (black as midnight on a moonless night). Good morning!

“Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’ma let you finish

…but Douglas Burgdorff had one of the best videos of all time. ONE OF THE BEST OF ALL TIME!”

The following clip is not safe for work or for the squeamish. For all the rest of you, no rx ENJOY.

Via Kitty Doom.

The Racist Undertones Of Marmaduke

WHITEPRIDETV.COM has a varied lineup of video content for the modern white supremacist to educate themselves and keep up on the latest in good old American racism. From This Is The Klan to The White Woman’s Perspective Thomas Robb and his group of camera wielding bigots cover the entire gamut of life as an ignorant douchebag. They also, thankfully, have some children’s programing to help Confederate flag waving parents educate their offspring in the proper manner.

The programming in question is The Andrew Show which is, in case you had not already figured it out, “A Show for White Kids” (Finally!). Plopping the blond-haired youth in front of a green-screened bookcase, WHITEPRIDETV.COM lets the little tyke go at it, tackling the issues that face white kids today. This particular episode deals with the film Marmaduke, an unremarkable film in nearly every way except for the fact that it is a metaphor for racial tension; specifically the denial of land to white people by people of other various and sundry races. So goes Andrew’s thesis, a thesis he does not expound upon his, presumably because his point is so self-evident even a child can see it.

It is an unfortunate reality that even the worst among the human race can procreate, taking an otherwise unfettered mind and twist it with their own, poisonous worldview. It is, perhaps, worse when they give them their own television show to parrot that moronic bile.

Via Videogum : The Daily What

Dutch Candy Horrors

Update: So Nanna in the comments points out that Bon-Bon is not, indeed, Dutch but Danish which means that I’m an idiot and everything in this article is wrong. Everything except the part about Dutch toilets.

Above, dear reader, you will find a collection of five commercials, circa 1990, for candies produced by Dutch confectioners, Bonbon. These sugary delights have names like Ape Snoten and Smul-Tietjen which crude internet translation informs me is, roughly, Boob Feast in English. That particular treat features a nightmarish and considerable buxom, anthropomorphic cow milking another, non-anthropomorphized cow after which her heaving breasts explode from her shirt making for what must be a record holder for most fetishes in a television commercial. This is only one in a series of ads featuring a plethora of bodily fluids and functions. Please do not let these commercials affect your opinions of the Dutch, however. Yes this seems odd, but no doubt there are more than a few aspects of our culture that would confound the citizens of the Netherlands. No, we should instead save our condescending judgment for their bizarre and unholy toilets, equipped with “inspection shelf”.

FAIL-tastic Mother of London Forgery at the AMA’s

UPDATE 11/24/10 11:45 PM: reports that the person responsible for the yellow replica is Brea Stinson (@breabstar on Twitter), a fashion stylist represented by Balan, Inc.

Stylist Mariel Haenn is not responsible for this look, and was not involved in any aspect of Willow Smith’s styling for the AMA’s. I’ll be following up with a new blog post to clear up any confusion.

You guys all know Mother of London, the fashion label of designer and artist Mildred Von Hildegard. We’ve featured Mother of London in Coilhouse issues 01, 04 and 05, and we previously blogged some of Von Hildegard’s incredible creations here and here. Yesterday, an outfit very similar to one of Mother of London’s most iconic pieces appeared on ABC’s American Music Awards, worn by 10-year-old pop star Willow Smith, daughter of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. Yet the poorly-made yellow garment was created by an unknown designer without Von Hildegard’s knowledge or consent.

Mother of London knock-offs are nothing new. But the innocuous ModelMayhem fashion shoot or occasional Etsy neckpiece doesn’t damage Von Hildegard’s business nearly as much as a replica for a mainstream celebrity. Von Hildegard makes her living by loaning out pieces for music videos (Kerli, Natalia Lesz), commercials (Got Milk?), and by doing celebrity styling (most recently, she has dressed The Black-Eyed Peas, Juliette Lewis, and, in an outfit ironically similar to young Willow’s knockoff, adult performer Belladonna). Despite some of these big-name clients and her notoriety in the alf-fashion world, Von Hildegard remains a struggling independent designer. Now, she will never be able to loan out this top, one of her signature pieces, to any other celebrity, as it’s been seen on ABC and covered by dozens of mainstream fashion blogs. “Sad thing is,” Von Hildegard says, “I could have totally made her a G-rated version of this top and would have enjoyed doing so! I’d never heard of Willow until today, but she’s cute and interesting.”

The designer of Smith’s outfit remains unknown, but several blogs attributed the design to Willow Smith’s official stylist, Mariel Haenn, before the Mother of London connection was made. Celebrifi wrote, “the outfit, which included a grey one piece, a belted one shoulder top and slouched boots, was more than likely a custom made creation from stylist Mariel Haenn.” So far, Haenn only claims credit for styling Rihanna at the awards, and has advised bloggers to “check ur facts.” Responding to a Coilhouse inquiry, Haenn wrote: “To be honest I have no idea who ‘styled’ her or the designer. Wish I did. I don’t ask my clients who they used when I’m not available.”

Coilhouse will continue to investigate. In the meantime… WHIP YO HAIR GIRL:

(via Mer, thanks!)